5 minutes conversion story

We were asked to share our conversion story in CG. 5 minutes were given. No more & no less.. Hee.. Basically, this is to help us share our story fast so that we will not "bore" our friends with whom we are sharing with.

I thought about it and thought - Why not? Share online? Here goes.. But it WILL be more than 5 mins. Heehee...

I was born in a Christian family. I attended a Methodist church. It was a family affair to begin with. Every Sunday, my whole family will don ourselves up nice nice then go to church. However, at the age of 9 years old, my parents stopped going. I carried on. It's really not because I love going to church but church gave me an opportunity not to be at home.

I grew up being an angry child. My character is known to have clashed with my dad. Thus, I always clash with my dad. Therefore, because of this, I grew up being, not only an internally angry child, I was also a very quiet person. But they always say "the quieter, the scarier". Indeed, I always crave for a love which I felt, then, my family didn't give me. (Though I was very close to my sister. However, there were days when I felt jealous of her la.. Heehee...)

I attended Sunday School all the way till I was Sec One (13yrs old). However, God still didn't give up on me. He gave me a tuition teacher who brought me to an AOG (Assembly of God) church. It was there that my interest in this man called Jesus grew a tad deeper. I started to join in ministries like dance and children's. BUT BUT BUT, I joined ONLY because (1) I love dance and I love kids. (2) I wanted acceptance from my friends who are in it. (3) I wanted to be away from home for an even longer time.

So, as you can tell, I was a VERY shallow person back then. But next to shallow, I was a person who really craved for love and attention. In which, this led me AWAY from God and led me TOWARDS man. I studied hard to get good grades to earn a "good gal" pat from my parents. Then, I got into a terrible relationship at the age of 15. Broke up at 16. At 17, I "officially" backslided. I refused to go back to church and I refused to even "entertain" my friends who invited me to their church.

That was my polytechnic time already. Well, that was also the time when I broke free from my yucky secondary classmates who trampled on me. Polytechnic speaks of FREEDOM for me! I could like "start life afresh" you know! I got to know cool friends..! But that deep loneliness still remained. At age 18, I got into a r/s that lasted about 4years plus. I really dedicated my life literally to that guy (now my good friend :)). So when we broke up, I was really quite devastated then. Thankfully, I never thought of dying. I only thought of going away from Singapore. So while he returned from UK to Sg, I left Sg for Brisbane.

Sometimes, it's funny when I think back. God has to literally plugged me out of Sg, He has to literally stripped me to ZILCH, for me to know what void was, what darkness was and what loneliness really was. In the stillness of ONE night whilst I was crying, I heard God prompting me back to Him. I told myself - Ok, God. If I call this friend and find out where his church is, I will go only if it's 15mins near my house. I called and well, you've guessed it! It's only 5 mins drive away from my place.

On the first service when I went back, it was a topic on forgiveness. And the next week. And the next next week. For a few weeks, it was on forgiveness. It was a message that drove straight to my heart. I knew I needed forgiveness. I needed to forgive so many people and more importantly, to show mercy on myself. Two verses shared with me from my Brisbane leaders were from Roman 5:3-5 and James 1:2. It's through these two verses that I know that life is ALWAYS hopeful!

I finally rededicated my life to God again.

Is that the end? No.. Life is not suddenly smooth sailing just because I got to know this God. Then, I still struggle with the lack of confidence and security. I backslided again somewhere in 2004. Now.. that was when I really really encountered God. I realised that to be broken and contrite is for me to totally give my life to God. It's only when I give my life to God, can God do something about it. I thought long and hard about it and then, I was convicted to share my deep secrets with my shepherd. Then, that was the turning point of my life. I then knew that my life was really accountable and open.

One thing I learn is the parable of the True Vine. Go read it.. Basically, I learned that pruning is no easy task. I feel painful each time God wanna prune me to be someone better. My character gets tested and moulded. Sometimes, I am "invited" to give up a few rights in my life. However, the promise is simple - Trust and Obey. God will ALWAYS be with me.

So, does being a Christian means the end of life's problem? Nope.. It has never been that way. In fact, being a Christian only means that life MAY have more problems. BUT, the rewards of character building, life learning, etc are far far far more intrinsic. On hindsight as I look at my life, I truly felt that I am greatly loved by the GREAT and AWESOME God. I may have gone one big merry go round, I may have lost my way in the maze for awhile, I may have gotten myself in the midst of a biggest whirlpool of life. But hey.. God loves me SO much to actually bring me back. And also, on hindsight, I have come to realise also that I am GREATLY loved by my parents. They have REALLY loved me to the best that they know how. In the past where there were not much education for parents, they really had loved me to the best that they know how.