Oh! What a day...

Oooh.. What a day at work.
The minute I arrived at work, I witnessed 2 of my colleagues arguing with one another.
The tension was real great... and soon, I found myself being a middle person.
As much as I hate to be in that position, my job scope somehow does need me to be one.

Not too long later... (maybe 15mins later), I dealt with yet another a difficult patient.
The whole ordeal lasted 5400secs, 90mins or 1 and half hour.
I was practically choking myself.
Liken to a person drowning in the pool struggling looking for a life buoy all over...
But no one could help.
My senior hasn't arrived yet and boy... I really prayed.
I prayed for divine intervention.
Pray REAL hard...
I suddenly remember Rev Margaret Seaward's sermon - When all else fail, God is there.

Heee... I guess God intervened...
My senior suddenly appeared!
I am so amazed by her skills!
I find myself dropping my jaw at the way she handled it.. telling myself.. "Mmm.. I must learn more. Learn the skills, make the mistake and next time will be better!"
The whole thing was settled at our clinic level without moving up to the Macrosystem - The forum!!!

Anyway... my day has not yet ended...
It was only 1030am when the whole commotion ended.

Next...
2 staffs quarrelled.
For a moment, I thought I would witnessed a cat fight about to occur.
Again, as a supervisor, I felt so suppressed.
I just dunno how to handle 2 middle aged ladies quarrelling.
Again and again, I learned from my senior.
Somehow I learned that... If you can't get your message across cause they are louder than you, you jolly well be louder than them.
Haha!
This is really an area that I fail in.
I can't imagine myself shouting or talking loudly.
But again, case to case, situation to situation.. sometimes, my voice just have to learn to be louder than the situation.

*sigh*
That was only 1230pm!!! ArGh!!
By the time 530pm came and I could go home, my brain was practically switched off to study for my exams...
I felt so so so physically and mentally drained.

Thank goodness, when I woke up this morning, I reminded myself that no matter what, I will choose to thank God.
NOthing is that bad that will cause my life.

However, praise God, by His strength and blessing, I got a couple of good classmates to study with me and to wake me up by asking lots of questions.
The amazing thing is... of the 4 hours of studies, we laughed 2 hours.
It was really a laughing session for us..
You know.. The reality hit us yesterday when my classmate commented..
"Hmm.. After Tuesday, we have no more reasons to meet to study already. LIfestyle gonna go back to the busy schedule..Better try our best to meet."

Honestly, even last week, I was already preparing myself that somehow, when our lifestyle will resume, that will really mean that it's going to cut alot of our interactions.
Which means that somehow, no matter what, there will be less communication, less meet up, etc...
That's life.. heee...
One thing we concluded was - "Dun worry, we will see each other in heaven!!!! And we will keep each other in prayers!"
Hee... the amazing thing about this BIG FAMILY OF GOD!!!!

Morning is God's way of saying: "One more time.. Live life... make a difference... touch one heart... encourage one mind... and inspire one soul..."

Life Part 2

Finally met baby X.
He's the youngest child of my cohorts.
Was studying in his house.
When his baby walked into the house, he was absolutely not afraid of strangers.
His daddy told him "Come.. Shake hand with Aunty..."
He 'jumbled-tumbled' towards me with his hands stretched out to shake it.

Then, he sat down on the floor and removed his shoes.
First.. the right one..
Then.. the left one....
While removing the left shoe, he noticed his right shoe wasn't standing upright.
Quickly, he straightened it upright.
Then!!!
He stood up and said.. "Papa.. bao bao (carry)!!"
When daddy went over, X pushed him away cause he dun liked to be hugged.
But again, he said "Papa.. bao bao..."

Ah.. I get it this time! He wants daddy to carry him upstairs to bedroom.
But quickly, his mummy and aunty carried him upstairs.
But not before he came to me again, shake hand and bye bye again.

Baby X is a down syndrome baby.
Before I went to my cohort's house, I was admiring at the beauty of my godson who's teething, who's beginning to walk.. who's beginning to talk..
But yet.. baby X striked a chord in my heart.
Striked it deep in my heart.
I asked my friend.. why X pushed you away when you hugged him?
He said that his growing up days was filled with needles since birth.
40% of DS kids are born with hole in the heart and he's one of them.

We learn from Social Work infants between 0-12months old, they are beginning to develop their sensory, visual and motor skills.
Motor skills like sucking...
Sensory skills like sensing..
Visual skills like recognising...
But X didn't developed these.. cause he's filled with needles..

I remember one night at the gal's shepherding session...
We got into this topic "If given a choice and you know that your kid is DS, would you choose to interfere with God's creation?"
I asked the same question to my friend.
He said (NOT in exact words) "My wife and me believed that everything is given from God. It is a gift. There is a plan and purpose for all. Believe me. In the months that I was in the hospital, our learning curve increased! We were both devastated when we realised X was DS but when we were in the hospital, we saw other children and parents' sufferings and miseries, we can't help but shut up and thank God for all we have! We began to know how to give thanks and exercise faith."

At at moment, I was nearly at the brink of tears.
I was suddenly so so so thankful...
When I went home, I just can't stop thanking God.. Thanking God for the many things that I have...
A home to return to.. a room of my own.. a computer to use.. brains to think.. studies to upgrade myself...
What other things can I exactly complain about?
Have we taken things too much for granted?
*shrug*...

My personal prayer is really that I won't fall into complacency..
Learning is everyday.
Everyday is changing.
We never know what we will learn.
We never know what we CAN learn.
Like my friend... He and his wife found faith.. found strength through sorrow.
I can too.

Ps 34:18
"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."

Life

Lately, I have been thinking about this thing called life.
Went for the Seasons of Life seminar.
Life indeed is a wonderful thing....
The young crying.. the adolescents' searching.. the adult finding partners.. the kids you will have.. the grandparents...
The life we have.

For 14 years, I have this wonderful friend... and we went through life together.
Her son's my godson.. Lovely child he is.. Seee.... Heee...:)



I can't believe it... He's a year old already...
Each time I see him, he looks different.
When Kim (the lecturer for Seasons of Life) mentioned that babies will start to "select" people at 12months old, I really wanted to jump up and say that it's SO true!!
*sob*...
My godson is beginning not to allow me to carry him..
Each time I carry, he cries.. *Sob SoB*
No matter how I try to sayang him, to tempt him with toy, he cries and struggle for his mummy and yaya.. *grimace*
I mean.. aiyo.. all I want is to carry him to his mummy...

A thought came to me...
Whoopz! Am I sometimes like that with God?
Just wanna struggle and not let Him lead me?
Like I am bringing Matt to his mummy, he doesn't know and he doesn't see his mummy so he didn't know that I am that "car" that transport him to his mummy.
Again, am I sometimes like that with God?
You know.. we always have our struggles.. but we struggle cause we can't see the end point.
We struggle cause we can't give our full trust.

Just like in Mr Erikson's theory, everyone at a certain point of time would be going through a certain phase in life with ONE crisis in it.
If we didn't get past that crisis and move on to another age, we may have a slight chance of bringing past hurts into the later part of my life and again, we may need to go back to that stage to "settle" it before moving on...

Can't help but think "Hey.. isn't it the same for us believers? We have our growing phase too.."
And perhaps.. just perhaps.. at each phase, there is a crisis for us to overcome.
When we overcome that phase, we will move up and grow in Christ.
And if we don't, we may just have to re-learn again.

My ex shepherd always tells me there ALWAYS is light in the tunnel.
Just a matter of whether we want to open our spiritual eyes and see that light.

Proverbs 8:19
"My fruit is better than fine gold; what I yield surpasses choice silver."