I have not been exercising for a long time. At least since my dad was hospitalized. Finding the time has been an issue actually. Work's getting a tad busier and often, I try to be at home whenever I can. By and by, I stopped my swimming & jogging routine. 4 months.
To go back to my swimming routine is not an issue since I have been swimming since young. Getting back on the jogging routine is really procrastinating for me. For one, I hate to jog. Most importantly, I have a great fear to jog. (I rarely tell people this fear)
I was on duty at the race expo for MILKRun today and we were partnered. My other colleague I was partnered with is a long distance runner. We chatted and he asked me "So, have you been running lately?" I looked at him, smiled and replied "I'm more of a swimmer than a runner..." Somehow, perhaps he was a nice chatting partner and I found myself revealing to him my fear of jogging.
Some time back (about 4 years ago) when I was jogging around my area, I nearly fainted. It was a scary experience and since then, I do fear jogging. Most of the time when I do jog, I am a very safe jogger. I only run around the VERY VERY small park at my estate. When I chatted with my colleague, he revealed that he used to prefer swimming too. He used to fear jogging.
When I reached home, I just thought about his words (and I also thought of my new year resolution to participate in the Standard Chartered 10km run). I decided to put aside my fear and go for a jog. Before I procrastinate any further, I made sure I changed into my shorts fast. I just kept reminding myself that in order not to faint, I just have to ensure that I do the proper things like warm up, etc.
Yay!!!! For the first time, I managed to jog around my estate without stopping. It was only about 2km+ but to me, I was very encouraged already. To ensure that I keep it up, I signed myself up for the Great Eastern Women's run. 5km. Will try to psycho my colleagues for it.. Anyone interested to go with me?
Saturday, June 30, 2007
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Divine Timing
I was doing a puzzle & in it, I was supposed to find 16 words. 2 words stood RIGHT out for me.
Fervent
Zealous
The name of my CG is FerZ. When Penn & I (& I forgot who) wanted a name for our CG, we felt that we REALLY wanted a CG that is Fervent & Zealous for God. On fire for Him!
Just as I was wondering about 1000001 things about my spiritual walk, these 2 words came to me in good reminder. Divine timing.
Fervent
Zealous
The name of my CG is FerZ. When Penn & I (& I forgot who) wanted a name for our CG, we felt that we REALLY wanted a CG that is Fervent & Zealous for God. On fire for Him!
Just as I was wondering about 1000001 things about my spiritual walk, these 2 words came to me in good reminder. Divine timing.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
3 ex-es
Today, I bumped into 3 ex-es.
1) At SSTI (Social Service Training Institute), I bumped into my ex-shepherd, Ginny. It was wonderful meeting her again after the last time I saw her at the hospital when she visited my dad.
2) I ran up 2 escalators just so I do not miss the train back home. I HATE waiting for trains in the night. The waiting time is atrociously long! Just as I ran INTO the train, my eye caught hold of this very familiar guy. I wanted to call him but since he was entering the train, I just tried my best to catch the train first. My ex-Brisbane church mate cum ex-Uni mate cum ex-CG mate. Chris Yeo. We went on different ways for some time already. It was unfortunate that we only had 5 stops to catch up. We talked real fast. Exchanged quick explanations on the happenings in our lives.
3) On that same train back home, JUST as I was stepping out of the train, I walked passed my ex-colleague, Yvonne, from SingHealth Polyclinic! That little girl ah... She has grown prettier and more mature. Almost can't recognize her. It was unfortunate that I did not have time to stop for awhile to tell her how pretty she has grown.
As I was walking home, I was just thinking what a wonderful day I had. Yes... It was tiring having to work more hours than required but with the little perks along the way, I just feel that they are God's way of refreshing me through the day.
1) At SSTI (Social Service Training Institute), I bumped into my ex-shepherd, Ginny. It was wonderful meeting her again after the last time I saw her at the hospital when she visited my dad.
2) I ran up 2 escalators just so I do not miss the train back home. I HATE waiting for trains in the night. The waiting time is atrociously long! Just as I ran INTO the train, my eye caught hold of this very familiar guy. I wanted to call him but since he was entering the train, I just tried my best to catch the train first. My ex-Brisbane church mate cum ex-Uni mate cum ex-CG mate. Chris Yeo. We went on different ways for some time already. It was unfortunate that we only had 5 stops to catch up. We talked real fast. Exchanged quick explanations on the happenings in our lives.
3) On that same train back home, JUST as I was stepping out of the train, I walked passed my ex-colleague, Yvonne, from SingHealth Polyclinic! That little girl ah... She has grown prettier and more mature. Almost can't recognize her. It was unfortunate that I did not have time to stop for awhile to tell her how pretty she has grown.
As I was walking home, I was just thinking what a wonderful day I had. Yes... It was tiring having to work more hours than required but with the little perks along the way, I just feel that they are God's way of refreshing me through the day.
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Dad
My previous leader once said "It takes 6 weeks to form and form a habit."
That is so so true.
My dad returned home on 4th May and kinda caused an upheaval to our sleeping time. Not sleeping at night, calling us on our mobile at 3/4am, etc. Then, he got angry easily too. And me, being a BAD social worker, instead of empathizing enough, I got angry too. Often times, I find that I need to just stay in my bed to cool down. My mum got the worst hit being in the same bedroom as dad cause she can't sleep at night too.
I would say that my mum's efforts and perseverance paid off. After much hoo-ha at the therapy centre, we decided to spend more money and get an in-house therapist. Bingo! That worked! I guess, being a man, face is an issue at the centre thus a one-to-one session worked.
Today, I saw with my own eyes my dad walking from the living room to his bedroom with the aid of a walker. These days, I also sense a happier mum & a mum who is less tired. Found out also that the night rendezvous has stopped and often, dad will sleep throughout.
As for me, I have learned how to handle situations around me slightly better. Initially, changing my priorities was not all that easy but now, I do not see how otherwise it could be. Another habit that I have picked up is bible reading. Not that I don't read the bible last time but it's usually a "by-the-way" thing. These few weeks, there is a "I-want-to-read" kind of feeling within me. And when I read, I felt that I could visualize the on-goings within the bible. It's like I have put on a crystal ball lens and see the whole scenario played up. This new perspective wow-ed me lots!
*sigh*... Seriously, what would I be without God in my life?
That is so so true.
My dad returned home on 4th May and kinda caused an upheaval to our sleeping time. Not sleeping at night, calling us on our mobile at 3/4am, etc. Then, he got angry easily too. And me, being a BAD social worker, instead of empathizing enough, I got angry too. Often times, I find that I need to just stay in my bed to cool down. My mum got the worst hit being in the same bedroom as dad cause she can't sleep at night too.
I would say that my mum's efforts and perseverance paid off. After much hoo-ha at the therapy centre, we decided to spend more money and get an in-house therapist. Bingo! That worked! I guess, being a man, face is an issue at the centre thus a one-to-one session worked.
Today, I saw with my own eyes my dad walking from the living room to his bedroom with the aid of a walker. These days, I also sense a happier mum & a mum who is less tired. Found out also that the night rendezvous has stopped and often, dad will sleep throughout.
As for me, I have learned how to handle situations around me slightly better. Initially, changing my priorities was not all that easy but now, I do not see how otherwise it could be. Another habit that I have picked up is bible reading. Not that I don't read the bible last time but it's usually a "by-the-way" thing. These few weeks, there is a "I-want-to-read" kind of feeling within me. And when I read, I felt that I could visualize the on-goings within the bible. It's like I have put on a crystal ball lens and see the whole scenario played up. This new perspective wow-ed me lots!
*sigh*... Seriously, what would I be without God in my life?
Saturday, June 23, 2007
Down again...
Just as I was feeling much better on my 2nd day of MC yesterday, I over-exerted myself today and fell ill again.
Took over the role of the houseparents for today and, together with a volunteer, we brought 11 kids out. To put it nicely, they are bunch of healthy active kids. To put it not-so-nicely, they are a bunch of mischievous & hair-pulling kids. My hair to be exact. Rather, there were moments that I can feel myself wanting to literally pull my hair out.
I learned a few things about kids today:
1) They will ALWAYS know when they are wrong. They will grudgingly yet willingly accept the punishment.
2) They may "hate" us when we discipline them but when that is over, they start to crawl up to your laps asking your help to read to them.
3) They may act cool, look cool & be cool.. (Cool, in this sense, means attitude) but when something really happen, they will come united as one.
Kids... They either cause me to be bald or they will add more crow lines to my eyes.
Gonna hydrate myself and hit the bed.. Zzzzz...
Took over the role of the houseparents for today and, together with a volunteer, we brought 11 kids out. To put it nicely, they are bunch of healthy active kids. To put it not-so-nicely, they are a bunch of mischievous & hair-pulling kids. My hair to be exact. Rather, there were moments that I can feel myself wanting to literally pull my hair out.
I learned a few things about kids today:
1) They will ALWAYS know when they are wrong. They will grudgingly yet willingly accept the punishment.
2) They may "hate" us when we discipline them but when that is over, they start to crawl up to your laps asking your help to read to them.
3) They may act cool, look cool & be cool.. (Cool, in this sense, means attitude) but when something really happen, they will come united as one.
Kids... They either cause me to be bald or they will add more crow lines to my eyes.
Gonna hydrate myself and hit the bed.. Zzzzz...
Friday, June 22, 2007
38.9 deg
It's been quite some time that I have fallen ill. Remember the last high fever I had was in Nov 2003. Then, I was literally bedridden. Then, I took 2 weeks to fully recover.
Yesterday, my temperature shot up again to as high as 38.9deg. I almost forgot that bedridden feeling. My bed and I were practically inseparable & I felt completely delirious. I feel as if my speech were slurred and I had absolutely no idea what I was saying. I ate for the sake of eating and I laid on my bed not cause I was tired but cause I can't get up. Nearly fell off my bed 3 times when I tried sitting up. *heee*
Good thing, my sister & mum were around. Quite a nice feeling being fussed over.
Praise God that as fast as my temperature shot up, it came down fast also. By evening, all the body aches were gone and I didn't feel as delirious.
Yesterday, my temperature shot up again to as high as 38.9deg. I almost forgot that bedridden feeling. My bed and I were practically inseparable & I felt completely delirious. I feel as if my speech were slurred and I had absolutely no idea what I was saying. I ate for the sake of eating and I laid on my bed not cause I was tired but cause I can't get up. Nearly fell off my bed 3 times when I tried sitting up. *heee*
Good thing, my sister & mum were around. Quite a nice feeling being fussed over.
Praise God that as fast as my temperature shot up, it came down fast also. By evening, all the body aches were gone and I didn't feel as delirious.
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Time to Adore
Ruth Bell Graham, Billy Graham's wife. A name that's on the books that I purchased. Someone whom I look up to. A website which I will often pop by to seek help. The legacy that she left behind is one who has my utmost respect. Somehow, I have yet met her, known her or even heard her speak but there's this missing feeling within me. Her poem.
And when I die
I hope my soul ascends
slowly, so that I
may watch the earth
receding out of sight,
its vastness growing
smaller as I rise,
savoring its recession
with delight.
Anticipating joy
is itself a joy
And joy unspeakable
and full of glory
needs more than
"in a twinkling of an eye,"
more than "in a moment."
Lord, who am I to disagree?
It's only we
have much to leave behind;
so much... Before.
These moments
of transition
will, for me, be
time to adore
Ruth Bell Graham
I hope my soul ascends
slowly, so that I
may watch the earth
receding out of sight,
its vastness growing
smaller as I rise,
savoring its recession
with delight.
Anticipating joy
is itself a joy
And joy unspeakable
and full of glory
needs more than
"in a twinkling of an eye,"
more than "in a moment."
Lord, who am I to disagree?
It's only we
have much to leave behind;
so much... Before.
These moments
of transition
will, for me, be
time to adore
Ruth Bell Graham
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Lonely in Singapore
There will always be ONE trip in a year that I will always save up for and that is Church Camp. Unfortunately, due to some reasons, I am unable to make it there. That, in history, makes it the very first time that I am missing a church camp since I re-dedicated my life back to God.
Thursday
2pm: I "sobbed" to my colleague "I wish I am in Malacca now for my church camp."
5pm: I told my manager "Hmmm.. I wonder is it Praise & Worship now or is it Teaching or maybe it's just Free and Easy?
10pm: (On my way home from work) "I think it's de-briefing time now..."
Friday
7am: (Walking my dog) "Maybe it's group Quiet Time..."
12pm: "Lunch time @ Malacca. Wondering is the food better at a 5-star hotel? *Hee*"
8pm: (On my way home from work) "Now should be Praise & Worship.. after dinner"
Saturday
8am: (Walking my dog) Sudden realization that it's the first church camp I have missed since I re-dedicated. **sobbing in my heart** I wanna a break... :(
4pm: (On my way home from work) Sudden realization that my phone has been rather silent cause most of my close friends are camping. Did receive a SMS from my shepherd who is also unable to make it to church camp.
7:14pm: (Current time) Feeling "lonely" in Singapore.
My colleague asked me "Hmmm... What do you exactly do in church camps ah? Why is there a need for a church camp?"
In reply, "Church camps is always a good opportunity for the whole church to come together. When a church is a tad too huge, then it may break into various groups like "Adults Camp", "Family Camp", "Filipino Camp", etc. I personally feel that camps are a great opportunity to really get to know one another cause next to CG & Sunday Service, it's rare that we will come together, stay overnight & have fun altogether. It's also a time to pluck ourselves physically away from Singapore and concentrate on just fellowshipping & the objectives we have set for ourselves. To me, physically removing myself from the Red Dot Island is very therapeutic. I tend to see my issues with a bird's eye view. Then, I could also realign myself. To me, a church camp is a need cause as humans, we are really made to fellowship, to have relationships. What better way than to stay together for a good 4 days and 3 nights. And oh yah.. Somehow, people just gets crazier when they are in camp. :P"
When I was on the train home back from work today, I started to recollect the memories I had from previous camps. One very visible trend I see was that after every camp, I will be re-energized & I will really try to correct mistakes I have made. 2004 was one camp that I dreaded to go yet it was the one camp that refreshed me & caused me to see mistakes made. First thing I did when I went back to Singapore was to *ahem* correct a huge wrong. I can't believe that it's been 3 years already.
This year, I was also quite determined to be refreshed by God despite not going to the camp so in my own little room, I re-aligned my goals for 2007. Hoping never to be far from God.
P.S. I am missing out photos for the camp at Orchard Hotel in 2003. That's during the SARS period thus held in Singapore. Anybody reading this has it? Let me know? :P
Thursday
2pm: I "sobbed" to my colleague "I wish I am in Malacca now for my church camp."
5pm: I told my manager "Hmmm.. I wonder is it Praise & Worship now or is it Teaching or maybe it's just Free and Easy?
10pm: (On my way home from work) "I think it's de-briefing time now..."
Friday
7am: (Walking my dog) "Maybe it's group Quiet Time..."
12pm: "Lunch time @ Malacca. Wondering is the food better at a 5-star hotel? *Hee*"
8pm: (On my way home from work) "Now should be Praise & Worship.. after dinner"
Saturday
8am: (Walking my dog) Sudden realization that it's the first church camp I have missed since I re-dedicated. **sobbing in my heart** I wanna a break... :(
4pm: (On my way home from work) Sudden realization that my phone has been rather silent cause most of my close friends are camping. Did receive a SMS from my shepherd who is also unable to make it to church camp.
7:14pm: (Current time) Feeling "lonely" in Singapore.
My colleague asked me "Hmmm... What do you exactly do in church camps ah? Why is there a need for a church camp?"
In reply, "Church camps is always a good opportunity for the whole church to come together. When a church is a tad too huge, then it may break into various groups like "Adults Camp", "Family Camp", "Filipino Camp", etc. I personally feel that camps are a great opportunity to really get to know one another cause next to CG & Sunday Service, it's rare that we will come together, stay overnight & have fun altogether. It's also a time to pluck ourselves physically away from Singapore and concentrate on just fellowshipping & the objectives we have set for ourselves. To me, physically removing myself from the Red Dot Island is very therapeutic. I tend to see my issues with a bird's eye view. Then, I could also realign myself. To me, a church camp is a need cause as humans, we are really made to fellowship, to have relationships. What better way than to stay together for a good 4 days and 3 nights. And oh yah.. Somehow, people just gets crazier when they are in camp. :P"
When I was on the train home back from work today, I started to recollect the memories I had from previous camps. One very visible trend I see was that after every camp, I will be re-energized & I will really try to correct mistakes I have made. 2004 was one camp that I dreaded to go yet it was the one camp that refreshed me & caused me to see mistakes made. First thing I did when I went back to Singapore was to *ahem* correct a huge wrong. I can't believe that it's been 3 years already.
This year, I was also quite determined to be refreshed by God despite not going to the camp so in my own little room, I re-aligned my goals for 2007. Hoping never to be far from God.
P.S. I am missing out photos for the camp at Orchard Hotel in 2003. That's during the SARS period thus held in Singapore. Anybody reading this has it? Let me know? :P
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
One best friend & Two godsonnies..
= Promised my best friend to do the photo montage for my godsons so thought I will post it up. Rest of the photos are found here. Meanwhile, a quick update also =
Today, my best friend brought my 2 godsons to my place to visit my dad. It was really sweet of her. I haven't seen my godsons for months!! About half a year actually. I missed them lots yet making time to travel to visit them has not been easy since my dad's incident. At any chance, I would want to be at home. Heart ached when I see Pearly so so so tired. Poor Matt was coughing. As usual, she got lost again. Cute thing was that Matt asked her "Mummy, are you lost again?" And as usual, whenever she gets lost, she gets tired cause it does take a lot of energy to get un-lost.
I went to the carpark to pick them up. Carried Matt and mummy was already waiting for them at the gate. The minute Matt heard Spanner and Sparkle barked, I literally felt Matt's hand tightened around me. In his soft clear voice, he said "I am scared of dogs. I got bitten before. A dog bite my last finger. It was painful." When John heard Spanner (especially Spanner) bark, he squinted his eyes as if saying "So loud! I am going deaf!!!"
Matt has grown up really well. Very embracing, very friendly. Despite being afraid of dogs, when told to call my mum, he put aside his fear and said "Hello Aunty". When I put him down on the floor, he asked me why. I told him that I am going to bring my daddy out. He looked at me curious as if wondering "Why can't daddy come out?". When he saw daddy, there was no fear. In fact, he was very embracing and very friendly. He held out his hand and said "Hi Uncle". After awhile, he ran up to my sofa to be safe from my dogs (unknowing that my dogs can actually jump too... *grin*).
Had a quick chat with Pearly. She expressed her concerns for my mum cause she ran down a lot. I acknowledged it. In fact, it's something in my heart all these while. Everyday when I see my mum, I get so worried that before I can get burned out from my job, she is already burned out from taking care of my dad.
====================================================================
Also, just a very quick update (some friends have told me that I haven't been updating them on my life. Seemed that blogs has become one avenue for keeping in touch. Heee... I wonder if it's good or bad):
1) Dad has been home for about 5 weeks. Going back to CGH regularly for medical check up. Medically, he is doing okay. However, emotionally not too well. A few weeks ago, suspected arthritis but blood test proved otherwise. He has problems sleeping at night. Doesn't want to go for physio initially. When he finally agreed, he made things difficult at the therapy session. Physio stopped for now. On a personal note, I am wondering if bringing him to a church will help him as he is rather bored at home. Having friends will help a lot actually. Perhaps that can relief my mum a little also. If you ask me, I am actually more worried for my mum more than my dad. Kudos to her! Best caregiver, best wife, best mother anyone could have!
Prayer points:
- Opportunity to speak to dad
- Dad to be emotionally positive
- Mum's health
2) Currently going through another change in my work place. This time, it affects me directly. Moving on to another dept. To me, it's a "dream" come through. When I joined Beyond as an intern, I have had wanted to be in the Children & Youth Dept. However, due to manpower allocation, I was placed in Family Dept. Nonetheless, I still love my job no matter where I am placed. And so, a few weeks back, I was approached and asked if I would like to be transferred to Residential. I jumped at the opportunity. For now, change is not going to take place till August. Gotta cover my manager who will be on long leave and at the same time, wait for a new caseworker to come on-board. So interestingly, I am now wearing 2 hats with one leg in Family and one leg in Residential.
Okie.. Quick updates over. Bye!
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