Saturday, July 30, 2005

Seminars

I was pleasantly surprised when I bumped into Hong Teck and his family yesterday at Tampines when I was with Penny.
And Hong Teck surprised me further with a question on when am I going to Chiang Rai?
My first reaction was “Eh… Have I ever mentioned to you before?”
“Your blog remember?!”
Haha!!! I nearly forgot that I have a blog – my public life. Heee… =)

Anyway, this week has really been fulfilling.

On Tuesday, I attended a Discipleship Seminar for the Hope Kids Ministry.
We were taught by Ranae and Carol.
I was very captivated by them when I first arrived cause they have SUCH nice and soothing voice.
Well… that aside, that seminar has incurred a few thoughts in my mind and I totally enjoyed it!

A few things that I learned:

1) I learned the song “Father Abraham”! (YES! When I told my friends, they all laughed at me cause how COULD I not know this song?!)
However, what I really learned was that we sometimes need actions, we need BRIGHT visuals and movements to captivate children’s attention.
Children won’t like to be bored.

2) Children need to be respected. Just cause they are young doesn’t deem fit that they don’t deserve our respect. They have every right to be silent and every right to give comments. They, like adults, like to be listened too.

3) We have to know our children. How can we reach out to the little ones, how can we expect them to listen to us if we don’t know them? Get involved in their talk. Hear what they say…

4) Spirit is caught not taught. Isn’t that true with adults too I ask? How I love God, how I deal with problems in my life, can be reflected in my inner man and that can be caught. Keep it consistent and keep God the centre of my life.

Even after the session, I was encouraged and I felt it was such a privilege to serve the little ones. I thank God for the opportunity to be in this ministry. J

And today, I returned home not too long ago from a People Helping People seminar. Another seminar that brought lots of memories to me. As I was watching all the role plays on the stage brought me back to my own role play for my class assignment (last year). I made ALL the mistakes that any people helper can make. Let me try to recall what my lecturer and classmate commented.

1) I sat VERY close to my client who is NOT my gender. It’s a big NO NO… Sitting too close (3 feet or less is close) to client is not encouraged.

2) I had lots of non-verbals! I was biting my lips & I was fidgeting badly! My lecturer immediately knew I was nervous. Haha!

3) My emotional dictionary was limited. I only know the words “Sad” & “Happy”.

Well… honestly, I had all the fun doing that role play and it was delighting to hear comments. It was EQUALLY weird seeing me on screen also! Heee!! Indeed, being a people helper or a social worker is a skill that I recognize that I have to learn with failures. Be always open to critics and be always ready to face embarrassments. It’s never easy being in that hot seat faced with a person who comes to you wailing or angry or even emotionless. Our job is never to assume, never to judge. Our job is to help by listening. Just as the biggest enemy is ourselves, our biggest helper is ourselves also. Clients want to be heard and they actually do have lots of solutions themselves. Let them hear themselves. Oh ya... And I learned that it is VERY important to cover ourselves spiritually when we help others. Transferance and Counter Transferance are real and can really affect an individual.

It was a wonderful session (though tiring)! Now, I am looking forward to tomorrow cause it’s SATURDAY! Yeah! My long await Sunday break from work is arriving! Thank God it’s Saturday soon!

Friday, July 22, 2005

This week...

.... is seemingly an unusual one.
Never in my life have I got hurt so many times.

On Monday, I nearly kissed the floor when I fell off the bus.
Hurt my left foot just slightly and grazed my right hand
On Thursday, I got a sore left thumb when a door slammed on me.
Literally handicapped in my left hand now.

Anyway, I am totally looking forward to tomorrow.
Yeah! I am on leave!
Meeting up a few of my classmates for a durian feast in the night.
Can’t wait to see them!
I haven’t been seeing them since last November.

Before that, going to spend my morning with my 2 dogs and parents.
I still have 1 PC & 1 laptop issue to settle.
I better do it before my trip else I’ll see many pairs of eyes starring down on me.

Lately, I seem to want to go home often.
Parroting what my friend say “San ah! I don’t seem to know you anymore!”
Hmmm… I am not sure if it’s the age thingy or what… But there is this longing to come home often to spend time with my parents.
Yeah man… I used to be one who dislikes going home.
There will be no one day that anyone can find me at home.
Hmm… Maybe that’s why no one ever had my home telephone number (With the exception of the very close ones.)

Anyway, it has been officially announced that I am the image consultant in my work place for my company D&D.
Makes me wonder what have I signed myself up for in this company.
Haha! Now, I have to think WHERE to get masquerades?
Any idea anyone?
Any “kang tao”?

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

When God Ran

Almighty God
The great I am
Immovable rock, Omnipotent, Powerful, awesome Lord
Victorious Warrior, commanding King of Kings
Mighty Conqueror, and the only time
The only time I ever saw Him run
Is when He ran to me, took me in His arms
Held my head to His chest, said "my son's come home again"
Looked at my face, wiped the tears from my eyes
With forgiveness in His voice he said "son, do you know I still love you?"
It caught me by surprise, brought me to my knees when God ran
The day I left home, I knew I had broken His heart
I wondered then if things could ever be the same
Then one night, I remembered His love for me
And down that dusty road ahead I could see
And the only time, the only time I ever saw Him run
One of my fav song...
Heard it 2 Easters ago.. Teared to know that it's not we who love God first.
We love God cause He first love us.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

*cat fight*

Life is interesting. Working as an operations executive, you simply have to cover almost everything. Yes... including a Fire Alarm Panel's battery.

Today, I was stuck in a blaming game between 2 groups of people.
One says that "I did not touch your sub panel."
One says that "If you did not touch, why is my battery changed? If my battery is not changed, my PCB board will not be faulty!"
*stuck*
6 men were talking at the top of the voice and one even threaten to resign.

As I was walking home after work, I ask myself - When things get tough, shouldn't it be the tough gets going?
But in this case, I witnessed one team trying to shirk the blame.
The other team having no choice but to go to Sim Lim to buy a new rectifier cause operations have to go on.
He was angry I know. He was angry cause it was unnecessary trouble. He was angry cause after everything, they still shirk the blame and he has to clean up the mess.

Heee... this reminded me of my 2 dogs at home!
When I reached home, both my dogs came out to say hi!
Then suddenly as they were running, the bowl of water toppled over.
Both dogs stood still.
Mummy came out and ask "Who toppled the bowl!"
Both dogs stood still, stared blank. Awhile later, stare at each other. Then they sat down and look REAL innocent.

Haha!
What a way to end my day.

Monday, July 18, 2005

Chiang Rai

Sa wat dee kah… Sa baay dee reuu? (Good day, how are you?)
Gin khaao reuu yang (Have you eaten?)

Heeee…. Life is getting real exciting for me!
In just 18 days, we (CG & me) are going to Chiang Rai!!! *clap clap clap*
Everyday, I try to collect a little information on Chiang Rai, read up on the culture of Thailand – the To do’s and the Not to do’s, learn a little language, etc.
In buses & train rides, I try to say a little prayer for myself, CG, the CG there in Chiang Rai, the people that we will be reaching out to…

In all honesty, I feel that I am so inadequate.
It’s like "Alo! I dun even really do street evax here you know!? How to evax to the people there?" *Scratch head*
The last street evax I did was Eh… Let me THINK!!!
OH NO I can’t remember!
Anyway, enough nonsense…Indeed, fear is there… But so is excitement!
I do hope that I can gain lots out of this trip though it’s just 4 ½ days.

Can’t help but start to recall my mission trip to Zambia in Nov 2002.
That was my 1ST mission trip and my VERY 1st trip to Africa too!
I remember in that trip, I didn’t have much time to do physical preparation cause I was busy praying that God will soften my father’s heart so that I can go. Haha!
That was indeed a faith trip for me.
Having faith for my dad to permit my departure.
Having faith that God will provide me a job when I return. (Jobless then)
Having faith that I am monetarily provided to go.
Amen amen and one more amen!
As I pick up faith to obey and go, God open all doors for me.
2 weeks before the trip, my dad gave his Golden Word "OK"…Thank God for the NSS (shares), insurance, flea market sales, blessings from brothers and sisters, I went.
When I return back to Singapore, within a week, I found a job that I rejected a month ago cause of the trip!
It was amazing to see how God works and EVEN as I type out now, I still am amazed, goosebumps still filled me.

I believe in breakthroughs.
Small or big, I believe in it.
And I want it too!
I am believing for greater things in my life and I want to claim and seal it in faith!

Sunday, July 17, 2005

*Then sings my soul!!*

Today is THE day that I look forward to every week.
Today I was scheduled to lead games in HopeKids.
Faced with fears and doubts wondering "Can I control them?", "Can they play the game I thought of?", "Will the game help them?"...
Well.. Hmm... In the end, I guess I may JUST have chosen the slightly wrong game.
A little too complicated... A little too hard to handle.
But ultimately, I had fun.
Whenever I am on duty at HopeKids, I am sure to bring home with me some thoughts.
Kids are always so innocent...

Today, in P&W, we sang the song One Way using the CD.
As the P&W leader lead, I turn around and saw a few children jumping along with the music smiling.
Some younger ones look around and start jumping too..
It really warms my heart to see it..
Teaching children really does require energy. Not only that it requires one to be watchful of themselves. Children pick up things very easily and most of the time, I try to be as careful as I can be of my own bad habits.
Think the last I want to impart is my bad habits!
Haha!

Anyway, went for the 2nd service...
It's ALWAYS so interesting to be in a service alone!
Me (Up the stairs in Nexus): "Should I turn left? Or should I turn right?"
Myself: Eh.. maybe right.
*Glance around and look out for familiar face*
I: Hmm... no one around. Oh well.. Just grab a sit.
P&W: I wanna dance... Should I? So weird... Left and right are strangers!
Me: Ah well! Dun care la.. It's for the Lord.
*And so I dance.

Sermon Time
Pastor: Turn to your right and tell the person "It's such a blessing for you to be beside me!"
Me *think*: HOW TO DO IT?
Me *action*: Eh... Hi!! I'm Sandra. Yourself? *perspire*
**think think think... Pray pray pray... Pray pastor dun ask me to turn around again**

Haha!!!
Just a conversation with me, myself and I.
Being alone is usually something I dun quite enjoy.
Being alone in a service is even more of something I dun enjoy...
That's when I realised that small groups are so important!
It gives people the feeling of family.
It gives people the feeling of togetherness.
When you feel like saying "Amen!", there is someone beside you who knows you!
When you feel that you need a prayer, there is someone beside you who knows you...

*yada yada yada*...
Reads the bulletin and found out "OH NO! MY Unit is up for Auditorium cleaning!"
*sob*... grabbed lunch ALONE then go cleaning...
But my wonderful CG has already finished cleaning!
*yeah yeah yeah!! Clap clap clap...*

Went for a breakthrough meeting and had a song presentation by 2 gals.
I was asked by Christine who's sitting beside me "Wow!! They have LOTS of air in their stomach to sing huh?"
I was very ministered by the song.
Really.. Imagine.. Just imagine what God can give me IF I were just to give Him a little of my life.
=)

My day ended off with a very beautiful scenery...
I was walking home in deep thoughts reviewing the day and as I was crossing the road, I saw a father on a bicycle with his wife behind hugging him tightly.
In front of him was a little boy whom I presumed was their son..
They painted a picture of a very happy family.
The parents were talking and laughing...
The son in front was singing loudly "Hallelujah! Praise the Lord!"
They were so happy... so carefree in the Lord...

Nice scene indeed...

Thursday, July 14, 2005

Then & now

Monday was THE day.
The day that I met our new believer to do a 24-hr follow up with her.
Along with me, or rather, I tagged along with Nelson and Eugene.
It was a session that TILL NOW, still remains vivid in my mind.

It has been a long time that I actually did a "hands-on" with a new believer.
When I made my way to Kovan from Pasir Ris, there I was sitting upper deck in bus 81 thinking how will the session later be like, what should I share, how will she react, will she change her mind, etc...
I decided that the best way to assure her salvation was to share my own testimony.
So then, I prepared what I want to share and I shared.

After sharing, went home feeling all so perked up!
It's amazing how personal testimony can perk a person up.
I guess... it's really about how thankful we can be...
As we share our life testimony, we are recalling God's goodness in our lives.
When I went home, I continue to recall His goodness in MY life.

Ironically, memories starts to fill my mind..
I start to walk my memory lane thinking about my own life.
And I noticed that in my life, there are MANY turning points... BUT there is 3 major ones.

1st - 14 yrs old
I gave my life to Christ for the VERY first time ever since I attended Sunday School days at age 5.
I spent 12 years in a Methodist church till I was asked by my tuition teacher to try out her charismatic church. I visited when I was 13yrs old and at 14, I gave my life. Perhaps it was the different style of the church. The music, the worship, etc... captivated young little me.
I started to serve fervantly...
But maybe I was too young, I got disappointed easily too...

Then, I started to seek for love in all the wrong places, I fell into not-so-good company and I fell into a bad relationship.
Feeling ashamed, I decided to give God a break thinking that perhaps, God wasn't too pleased with me.

I left church at 17yrs old. 18yrs got into yet another r/s which I thought "Hey..this one can marry!"

Life after 20 was quite a havoc one.
Partying was THE thing for me.
Every week, ladies nights, saturday nights, never fail to attract my friend and me to go and have fun.
Mind you: It wasn't to know guys. We were just happy dancing together. Haha!! Yeah! 2 crazy gals with boyfriends overseas mah...

R/s ended when I was 23yrs old.
Life was devastating.
No doubt, I thought that it's easier to end it all.
But the stronger part of me WANTS to survive.
Heee.. and so, I survive...
But I was VERY lost. I was seeking directions.
I was seeking for a hope.

2nd - 19/08/01
At 24 yrs old (not the above date), I made a decision...
That if I want to find hope, I better look for it.
I decided, GO OVERSEAS!
Haha!!!! What an escapist I was!

Anyway, I left Singapore happily and went Brisbane.

I think God has funny ways of bringing His people back to Him.
For me, He has to bring me to Brisbane.
One Saturday night, after many days of crying, I remembered that God said in Jer 29:11 that He has plans for me. He has plans TO prosper me.
I picked up the phone and called a schoolmate cause I remember he asked me if I was a believer as I was wearing my cross.

Amazingly, the Hope Brisbane was just a 15mins walk, 5mins drive away.
I went.
The first sermon Ps Wilson spoke was forgiveness.
Then, I realised I was holding on to SO much bitterness and so much unforgiveness on myself.
That was when God slowly entered into my life again.

I remembered that I told God "God, help me to let go. I want your love in my life again."
My life took a change...
By and by, I noticed that I want to know more about God again.
Coincidentally, while I was packing my luggage, I packed my bible in as well.
God DOES has a plan for me!

The more I want to know God, the more I grew to love Him.
On 19/08/01, I rededicated my life to Him again.

Never looked back.
Never regretted.

3rd - 05/06/04
Church camp last year changed my life again.
Before the camp, I was in despair or rather, I stupidly placed myself in situations which allows depression to seep into my life.
But last year's camp helped me see His love in my life.
After going so many rounds, I CAN'T deny His existance in my life.
How can I deny it after what He has showered on me?

What I learned you ask?
I learned that God really has plans for us.
Life as a Christian is really like what Apostle Paul says "A race".
A race.
In a long distance race, many will fall away due to tiredness or even due to lack of trust that there is an ending point.
Keep the faith.
Hold it strong.
Stop thinking with our logical minds.
Put faith instead.

God is a God of wonders and He works in ways that we can't fathom.
As I look back at my life, I begin to see that God is indeed my Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end.
He's behind me, He's before me.
He's ever my Lord.

=)
Just sharing.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

*ReVelatiOn*

I made a marvelous discovery!
Myopia is otherwise known as Lazy Eye!!!
Since I got to know this term “Myopia” that is commonly found in kids years ago, I NEVER knew it was called Lazy eye!!

Yesterday, I watched a show that interviewed the life of this doctor who’s the Senior Consultant at the Eye Specialist.
“Myopia, or otherwise called Lazy eye, is commonly found in kids”, said the doctor.
My ears SUDDENLY popped up and went “Hey! That’s me!”
Eh… Just that I am no longer a kid.

I started wearing spectacles since P4. That was the year that I found out that my 6/6 eyesight fell to be less than perfect in JUST one eye.
Back then, I only knew that I got to wear specs cause I read too much.
Read too much thus the consequence is that I have to wear specs.

Honestly, still quite ok… cause IN my era, specs seemed to be the IN thing.
The bigger the better!



It hit in me that times have really changed.
Urie Bronbrenfenner said in his Social Ecology Model that in the Chronosystem that “Patterning of environmental events and transitions over the life course: sociohistorical conditions”
This statement explains that JUST as people change, environment around us also change.
What used to be the norm, no longer is.
What used to be NOT the norm, already is.

Just not too long ago, a sister’s MSN pop up that says “Only God is unchanging”
I stand, yet again, in amazed how no matter how all other things may have taken a change, God never.

Every morning I wake up, I tell God that “No matter how bad the situation is, God you will never change. You be my CEO ok?”

Matthew 24:35
“Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away.”

Friday, July 08, 2005

AmazinG GracE

London bomb blast.
London nominated for 2012 host for olympic.
Political crisis all over the world...
So much worries all over the world.

This morning woke up on the wrong side of the bed.
Woke up with my dogs barking and growling... GRrr...
Got me so real frustrated.

Went to work and the fire alarm went off...
Then kenna a shouting session from a staff which turned out to be a major misunderstanding which she doesn't understand.
I asked myself - Is she too old? Is she too proud?

After work on my way to FMC, I asked myself "Does shouting really let you have your way?"
At least once a week, I get patients shouting at me just to get their way through.
Yet when I stand firm, we get complains that may even go all the way up to the ministry.

People.
Humans are such complicated beings.
It's so amazing how God made us cause EVEN till now, scientists are still researching on human bodies...
Every nerves, organs, blood vessels, etc... so exquisitely made.
No wonder the bible say that we are wonderfully made...

Anyway.. I was totally refreshed by the ministering time my UL planned for the cores.
Grace...
God's amazing grace..
What can we do without it..?

Ps 139:14 "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."

Thursday, July 07, 2005

ToDay

Today
Today while the blossoms still cling to the vine
I'll taste your strawberries, I'll drink your sweet wine
A million tomorrows shall all pass away
Ere I'll forget all the joy that is mine today
I'll be a dandy and I'll be a rover
You'll know who I am by the song that I sing
I'll feast at your table, I'll sleep in your clover
Who cares what the morrow shall bring
Today while the blossoms still cling to the vine
I'll taste your strawberries, I'll drink your sweet wine
A million tomorrows shall all pass away
Ere I'll forget all the joy that is mine today
I can't be contented with yesterday's glory
I can't live on promises winter to spring
Today is my momnent and now is my story
I'll laugh and I'll cry and I'll sing
Today while the blossoms still cling to the vine
I'll taste your strawberries, I'll drink your sweet wine
A million tomorrows shall all pass away
Ere I'll forget all the joy that is mine today

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Missing

In just a twinkling of an eye, in just a blink, in just a moment of time, 2 years passed.
Hmm.. So fast, a brother in CG left us for Perth to study.
Interestingly, there was quite a sad feeling when I woke up yesterday morning knowing that someone in the CG is no longer with us.
After all, we all have shared a good 2 years together in a CG.
But it's real good to know that he's safe in God's arms.

Goodbyes is never a place for me to be in.
Never a place I love to be in.
Heee.. Maybe that's why it took me some time to "recover" from leaving Brisbane.

ANYWAY, God is still good!
There's so much to be thankful for...
I just received a postcard from one of my German friend..
It got me SO excited cause apparently, that postcard is for me YET, I can't fathom who was the one who sent it to me!
Of all places the post office has to chop, it chopped on my friend's name!
Man!
Took me some time to decipher "Anja"!!....

It was really the best part of my life that night cause I was somehow so depressed that whole day and that postcard perked me up totally!
I got to know this friend from my Kangaroo Island trip and we just clicked off!
I remember that was a real cold trip and silly me, prepared for summer!!!
Well.. fact of the matter was that it WAS summer.. but that island was 0deg!
Brrrr.... Heee.. When I first arrived there, I sat right at the back of the van, got all my galfriends to block me whilst I add on a jeans, Tshirts, sweater, etc...

That was one of my best trip ever...
Danny who was a financial analyst left his job in mainland Australia and bought a house and uproot his whole family to Kangaroo Island.
Slowly, he bought a van, bought another house and the original house became a hostel for tourist.
All of us went around in his van to catch crayfish, to play with his son, to see koala bears mate, do sand boarding....

Aiyo... reminiscing reminiscing....



Can find me? Heee...