Precious Sunday

Last night, I went to bed with a heavy & upset heart, wondering how could I have done better, if I could. I tried to put things aside, I tried to not think about it, I tried to look at things positively & optimistically but it's like a thorn in the heart. Nonetheless, I prayed & told God that there's really nothing I can do. I ask God to refresh me so that I can return to HopeKids today refreshed. Somehow, when I woke up today, a song was placed in my head "5 loaves & 2 fishes" by Corrine May. As I walked my dog, I kept singing it.

Ever since I started having to have work duties on Sunday, being able to be at church on Sundays & spending time with CG has became very precious to me. Today, my Sunday is very precious because I spent my time with my kids & leaders at HopeKids.

I took a quarter break from HopeKids for nearly 4 months. Today is my first time back after a long while. I woke up feeling excited & in anticipation. I actually prepared a packet of Marshmellow JUST IN CASE the kids have difficulty warming up to me. I was pleasantly surprised that I do not need the Marshmellows & warming up was easy. I really felt welcomed. In fact, 2 kids actually came up to me and told me the changes HopeKids has had. Some came up and hugged me. Some asked if I am back to lead games

Coincidentally or by the timing of God, the Worship Leader shared that she was touched the story of 5 loaves & 2 fish where Jesus fed more than 4000 people. When we are faithful with little, God will multiply & bless us. I was reminded that every little that I have, belongs to God. Every little & minute sadness that I have also belongs to God. God will take it & comfort me.

Later in the afternoon, I attended a HopeKids leadership huddle (halfway through, I wondered if I was supposed to be there cause everyone seemed to be in HopeKids full time!). NONETHELESS, I never regretted being there. Hong Teck delivered a fantastic teaching on the steps towards learned optimism.

After such a long blog, what I really want to say is this: God always answer prayers. Last night, I asked God "Don't go too far from me." Today, I really felt that God is so so so close to me. Right from the time I woke up with the song to now.

Sister

Carol blur blur hit the car's bumper yesterday & I accompanied her to the mechanic this morning. She passed a fantastic remark while we were walking under the rain with 2 huge umbrellas - she behind me. She said, paraphrased, "So funny! It takes us to be in these kind of situation for us to go out and spend time together."

It really brought a smile to my face the whole day. Each time I think about it, automatically, I will smile.

My sister is someone I love dearly. Many times, I enjoy the little moments I have with her over meals or car ride or even just lying on her bed watching TV with her at her PC. My sister will always tell you that when she was young, I hit her on her head thus I am smarter than her. However, as kids, I really do not know what I was doing. Hahaha!!! As kids, I only know that I am the elder sister and I have a duty to take care of the younger one.

Now as adults, with her married & preparing for wedding, with me busy with my own life, we basically lead very separate lives. Suddenly, the responsibility as an elder sister has diminished as the younger one has also learned how to lead her life. And that's when positions in family matters no more & "friendship" may take over. Somehow, it does warms me when I know that when she is in trouble, she calls me first. Haaaa... Hopefully no more next time though.

A glimpse

Ahem, I was kinda questioned why I haven't been blogging & posting pictures lately. For several reasons la... The very main reason is, of late, I am very lazy to sit in front of my PC at home after working hours. If I were to be at my PC, I would probably spend time emailing a friend who's overseas.

Anyhow, a glimpse of what has been happening over the past 2 months.

An overnight cycling trip with church friends. The cat did not follow us on the trip but I thought he/she look very very cute! He was looking intently at something. After which, we found out that a bird was being "arrowed" for its next meal. I love the pic of Noel sleeping. I was just so afraid that he may fall over.


A gathering held at my colleague's house. She cooked one of the BEST BeeHoon Briyani & gado-gado. I was SO full at the end of the day. Spent the whole afternoon playing this game called Mafia. Hmmm... One day, introduce it to CG/Unit. Guess who's my boss? Hee..


A trip to Sultan Shoal Lighthouse with Jerliyn & Nelson. A very privileged visit there. =)

This is THE most important photo of all! THE most most MOST precious photo of all! The ONLY 3 photos taken. My best friend & me. I love you my dearest. Happy birthday.

Fair

When I started out working with kids, the word "fair" is used often (& almost everyday). Every decision I make, there almost is this fear in me that a kid will scream out "It's unfair!!!".

Really, I am one who is very soft-hearted so it's kind of a difficult position to be in. On one hand, I constantly remind myself to be fair at all times. On the other hand, it's difficult pleasing everyone at all times.

I have, however, learned that "fairness" in the child's perspective is very different from ours. Simply not giving what a child want is already not fair. Then again, not everything the child wants is good for the child! Of which, it's something we, as adults, is able to comprehend & see. Now, I am seeing it more as a "way of discipline". Meaning, sometimes, it's ok to say "No" to a child. Every child has to learn how to accept a "No" graciously. And for the adults, I realized that I just have to live with the fact that at the initial phase, the child will act up, will scream, will ignore you, will shout at you but it's just a process.

Quoting my boss - "Trust the process". The process is, often, tough. However, the fruit of the process is worth the wait.

Now, I am waiting.

Dear Ms. J.

I was clad in shorts, short cropped hair, bright red sunnies. Outside one of the lecture theaters at Queensland University of Technology, stood this lady, Ms. J, introduced to me by a mutual friend of ours, Mr. A.

First impression on both parties: Bad.

Her impression on me, I think, was "Dao" (I think it means proud) & unfriendly
My impression on her, I recollect, was cautious & unfriendly

Verdict: Will not make too much effort to make friends with Ms. J.

Come one day, I rang Mr. A up to shop cause I was dead bored. "All right", he said. "But I have already made arrangements with Ms. J at Indooroopilly. Come along?", he continued. I shrugged & thought "Just go along. No big deal."

Verdict: Shopping was great fun. Not too bad for a first time.

When it was time to go home, a storm was already brewing outside. It was almost impossible to drive. We waited & then, I slowly sent Ms. J home together with Mr. A. Mr. A & I were both really about to make the decision to stay over at Ms. J's house already but the rain died down.

Verdict: Bad impression erased & a friendship with Ms. J took over.

As part of life's ironies, a friendship somehow cannot remain "clean" without the rubbing of shoulders. Did we actually verbally quarreled? I can't remember but I recalled that our friendship really took a huge strain. Well, without valley lows, there will be no mountain highs.

Verdict: Friendship took a higher flight. Issues resolved, friendship ruled. God became the centre of our lives (I would say).

Heehee... Ms. J, you know who you are heh! Why am I blogging this? Well, I was on my way home from work today & at 6:30pm, the sky was threatening with very dark clouds. No sooner than my thoughts were out, it poured tigers & lions. The clouds, the heavy downpour, the traffic, me driving all reminded me of a good thing that happened a solid 6 years ago.

You take care wherever you are! God is always with you, beside you as a friend, in front leading you, behind watching out for you!

Technology

From Multiply to Friendster to Facebook.

Recently got "involved" in Facebook after constant email reminders from friends to participate. Finally, I gave in & signed up.

Gosh, I cannot keep up with what technology can do to keep us connected! I am amazed that I found friends that I haven't been in contact for ages!!!! If not for Facebook, I would probably have forgotten how one of my friend looked like! *faint*

An activity-filled Sunday

- Pasir Ris Beach, Pasir Ris Farmway, Changi Village, Jurong East Swimming Complex, National Library, Outram Road, Jurong, home -

That's basically my whole Sunday in a nutshell. Brought 5 girls out ranging from 7-14 years old. Spending the whole Sunday with them was my very first time. I thought that since yesterday was a public holiday, I will bring the kiddos out for play time.

Kids. Towards the end of the day, I realized there's not much difference between the kids & me when I was their age.

1) I always "fight" to take the passenger seat beside the driver
2) At the back seat of the car, my sister & I laugh & giggle over the smallest thing
3) When I am at the passenger seat, I would always look at how my dad play with the clutch, brake, accelerator & hand gear
4) I would be very elated if I am given the money to decide on what I want to eat & how I want to spend the money
5) Being the elder one, bullying my younger sister is something deemed okay
6) Being an adult & hearing a kid complain the worst about her teacher (& knowing how much the teacher has helped her), we will probably think it's rude. However, I think when I was their age, I complain ceaselessly too.

Hey, if we stop & think for awhile, actually, it's not that difficult to put ourselves in the tiny shoes of the kids & find the most appropriate response to them! After all, what do kids really know? They know only when they are educated properly by the adults.

Strengths Perspective

What happens if, in a counseling session, a client does a verbal-vomit on the worst things that has happened in her life and family?

Strengths-perspective teaches us to look at the presenting problem & see how we can see it as a strength & build on it. I noticed that when one is dwelling amidst their issues & problems, rarely can they see beyond that circle containing the issues. When one starts to dwell on it, the problems somehow gets bigger. [For e.g., Problem: Family is in perpetual crisis. Issue: Family has continued to exist under stress]

To change a perspective is not easy. Then I start asking myself - What would Jesus have done? What would Jesus have said? How would Jesus have viewed it? Actually, I believe that when God looks at us (or me), He sees the best part of me, amidst all my flaws/problems/issues.

Women

I met 3 different people today. One's a mother who's worried about her next meal for her kids. One's a guardian's who's worried about how the child she's taking care of is doing. One's a mother who misses her daughter overseas.

A mother's heart. Ever since my dad's stroke, I have never felt so much towards mothers before. An email I once received.

When I created the heavens and the earth, I spoke them into being.

When I created man, I formed him and breathed life into his nostrils.

But you, woman, I fashioned after I breathed the breath of life into man because your nostrils are too delicate. I allowed a deep sleep to come over him so I could patiently and perfectly fashion you. Man was put to sleep so that he could not interfere with the creativity.

From one bone, I fashioned you. I chose the bone that protects man's life.

I chose the rib, which protects his heart and lungs and supports him, as
you are meant to do. Around this one bone, I shaped you.......I modeled
you. I created you perfectly and beautifully.

Your characteristics are as the rib, strong yet delicate and fragile.

You provide protection for the most delicate organ in man, his heart. His
heart is the center of his being; his lungs hold the breath of life. The ribcage will allow itself to be broken before it will allow damage to the heart. Support man as the rib cage supports the body.

You were not taken from his feet, to be under him, nor were you taken from his head, to be above him. You were taken from his side, to stand beside him and be held close to his side.

You are my perfect angel.....You are my beautiful little girl. You have grown to be a splendid woman of excellence, and my eyes fill when I see the virtues in your heart. Your eyes......don't change them. Your lips, how lovely when they part in prayer. Your nose, so perfect in form. Your hands so gentle to touch. I've caressed your face in your deepest sleep. I've held your heart close to mine. Of all that lives and breathes, you are most like me.

Adam walked with me in the cool of the day, yet he was lonely. He could not see me or touch me. He could only feel me. So everything I wanted Adam to share and experience with me, I fashioned in you; my holiness, my Strength, my purity, my love, my protection and support.

You are special because you are an extension of me. Man represents my image, woman my emotions. Together, you represent the totality of God. So man......treat woman well. Love her, respect her, for she is fragile.

In hurting her, you hurt me. What you do to her, you do to me. In crushing her, you only damage your own heart, the heart of your Father, and the heart of her Father.

Woman, support man. In humility, show him the power of emotion I have
given you. In gentle quietness, show your strength. In love, show him that you are the rib that protects his inner self.

Did you not know that WOMAN is special in God's eyes?

Constant

Someone told me recently "San.. You are about the only constant in my life."

On my drive back yesterday, I thought of that statement & I recalled an exhortation for a good friend at his wedding. She said (paraphrased) "Someone once said that marriage is about give-and-take. However, it should not be that way. Marriage is about giving & giving & giving & giving & giving without expecting anything."

I'm just thinking - with my friend, as I give my friendship, I really did not expect anything from her. So did she. Never once I thought she expect the world out of me. We accept each other - totally. She has seen the WORST side of me yet she love me so much.

If it takes more than a decade to become a constant figure in a friend's life, how much more does it take for a marriage?

In-born trait

I have had wanted to "use" AO indirectly to help me bless a sister who will be going overseas for missions. He leh.. what did he do? He literally dragged my bag & introduced me to the sister. Say I shy liao lor... Still drag. *sigh*... *smile*

Yes, I feel that being a social worker has not thicken my skin drastically. In fact, lately, I noticed that in a group of strangers or acquaintances, I really do not know how to start a conversation. I just simply find it difficult. Whether guy or gal, it's the same. It's not like because it's the opposite gender that I am shy. No no no...

To make things worse, I noticed that even with own friends, sometimes, I do think deep & hard to keep a conversation going. I have absolutely no problem with listening though.

I am beginning to wonder - Where has my brains gone to? All of a sudden, I seemed to have lost my tongue & brains! My guess is that my work has aroused quite a bit of personal thoughts. Then, I cannot share my work with a lot of people so I tend to keep quiet.

And so, I am believing that this is just a phase. I need to get used to my new job scope. Heee....