I have been thinking, A LOT, in view of the happenings happening at home front, with the little one, at work and how, truly, to link humanity with spirituality.
On Saturday, I had some friends over at my house, on the context to visit Faith. We were all colleagues from my previous org and it has been very nice to see and hear how we have progressed in what we are doing. Most of us are supervisors to the more junior social workers. In our conversation, we spoke about our gladness when we "strip our supervisees naked and have them face themselves straight in the eye". That's just a way of saying that unless we bring our supervisees to the point of breaking, their work with their clients is probably just going to be a job and nothing else. That said, we do all these in love.
Stripping naked and seeing ourselves in the eye.
How often had I gone through this process myself as a young budding social worker? I remember the first time I faced a violent father, I went soft in my knees bringing back memories of how I was caned by my father when I was young. I was stunned throughout the session because I never knew how much that caning I received in my childhood had an impact on me. That was my first work I had to work on within myself.
As a social worker, as a counselor, as a helping professional, we would want our clients to be as real as they can, to face their fears squarely in the face and work through those emotions - be it positive or negative. I caught myself, recently, telling someone who was mourning over a loss 'It's okay.'. I immediately apologized because it is NOT okay to that person who is mourning. So what makes me the expert of her life and say that it's okay?
So, my question is then, where is God in all of these inner battle? Often, it is one thing to say "God is still good no matter what" and believing truly that God is good despite difficult circumstances which we don't feel so positive about. How can we feel humane about the situation and evoked emotions and bring spirituality into the picture?
After 7 years in this line, 35 years living on earth, I am beginning to learn how to embrace myself. I am now able to look squarely at myself and tell myself "Yes, I am angry, I am furious and I am infuriated. I don't know what I am going to do about it right now but I am not going to deny those feelings. It is real and I am struggling. So I am not going to batter myself up to be okay when I am not really okay. I am going to fight it out with you God." I have also learned to embrace that God allows situations in my life to happen. Truly, life is not perfect but God is.
Lyrics from Crooked Lines resonates very well at this point - There's a reason for every detour and every scar, His mercy has always been written in the stars. He is just simply what we aren't. His grace is more than sufficient and His mercy is all we need to know that He loves us simply for who we really and truly are.
To whoever who is reading this - No, I am not depressed. :) Just food for thought.
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