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Title's '-' simply because I can't really give a title to this blog. In all honesty, I have no idea how did today really went about. I was thrown dazed by the first phone call I made the minute I stepped into office.

My client passed away. When his wife called me crying, I just gave her time to talk it out. I gave her time to cry it out. Honestly, I gave her so much time because I really don't know what to say. I have no right words at that point of time. I can't say "Life is still going to be the same" - She lost her half. I can't say that "It's going to be all right" - It will not be all right. Neither can I say "I understand" - For I really will not be able to fully understand. When she shared with me her husband's last wish, that's IT, I can't hold back. I dropped tears. His last wish was the very reason why I am helping out this family. That's to reunite his child back home. In a way, from what I see, his wish has been fulfilled - upon his death.

How do I feel? I feel upset. I feel upset that death has to happen for one to realise what treasuring is all about. On my way to work today, I was still telling myself that I want to give this family a call for a meet up. On my way to work today, I walked passed 3 wakes and I was still wondering "Who were the deceased? How were they like before their death? Wish it was a Christian wake.. etc". What I didn't know was that I had to attend 1 of the 3 in the evening. Also, I asked myself if I should have had done more. Again, it's back to the question: Have I done enough? Did I put in 100% or was it just 99% (or worse 50%)? Though I was rejected by his child over and over again, honestly, it simply didn't give me an excuse to work 1%/50% less. I felt too that such is the fragility of life. I just met him a month back and spoke to him a few weeks back and he was fine! This was one of my first families that I had.

When my colleague saw me crying, she said "Now you can understand how I felt when my client passed away." I kinda rebutted "I don't have to have one client to pass away for me to know how you feel." I guess, I was in quite a biting mode in the morning. I know she didn't mean it in a bad way but I just bite back.

Now after more than 12 hours has passed, I am in a less biting mode. Death always brings me down. The last time I heard of an acquaintance's death, I poured in public. I feel that, when death takes place, that's it. That's really "The End" of a story of a life. It's either up or down. There's nothing one can do to bring a person to life again (unless God performs a miracle).

However, this has become a lesson and reminder for me - To live life to its maximum fullest as how God has planned it to be! To love life and to love people. To treasure things and people that and whom I have now. To give thanks for the tiniest things ever. To never take my family for granted (it happens..!). To never take friends who are dear to me for granted.

- Tomorrow will be a better day! -