Sightings & Learnings

Sightings

Today is my 4th night at work. Was absolutely tired out physically & mentally & perhaps emotionally. After a few unhappy stories on broken marriages, I saw two married couples (assumed since wedding bands were on their left wedding fingers). One couple is around my age and the other is about slightly younger than my parents. Holding hands, giggling away, chatting away.. As if no one else around them matters. Just them. Just their conversation. Just their world. It's nice and it's warm. I found myself staring at them. I even found myself smiling. Obviously, they are oblivious to me staring so I have no qualms just looking on. Haaa!!

I am a people observer. When I was younger (10 years back), I love to sit at Mrs Fields at this building that's opposite Liat Towers. I will usually choose a sit beside the glass panel. When I meet my friend at 3pm, I will be there earlier about 2pm just to people watch. I love to observe people. It's quite eye-opening really - just observing the body language and the vibes they exude. Heehee...

Learnings

Today, I had a 3.25hrs meeting. An official FSC meeting with my new AD. I tell you, the ONE thing out of those many hours that I brought out with me was: She said (paraphrased) "One thing that I can never tolerate is gossip. I have ZERO tolerance for gossip in the office! First of all, we are paid to serve our clients. With 60 over cases, do we still have time to gossip?! Second of all, it takes alot of energy to gossip! More importantly, a gossip will tear down more than it builds up! I will not tolerate and I have fired staff before!"

Man.. Any idea how piercing it was to me? Just in yesterday's blog, I talked about gossip. You know, sometimes, as human beings, it's so natural to bring an innocent "feedback" to some other colleague which you get along well with. And sometimes, it's not just one colleague. It can be a few colleagues. Then when it started innocently, it will end up deadly. Because when it start and when WE allow it to continue, we are ENCOURAGING it to carry on!

It's sad.. It's even sadder IF and WHEN you know that there are people talking behind your own back. It's not easy to handle situations like this. It's harder even to find security. People may get insecure. I know how it feels definitely... I grew up being totally insecure. I craved for acceptance and when I don't get accepted, I question on my own self-esteem. In my growing up days, I was on the hate list by a few girls. The fact that I know they gossip and laugh behind my back was painful. I wanted badly to know why they hated me and till now, 16 years on, I am still living with the question unanswered.

Thankfully, I got to know God then. He became my Security & my Rock! When I am sad, I will go to Him. It's nice to have someone to turn to. My situation was then turned around. I refused to let unanswered questions bug me down so I instead, I chose the better way out - To build my confidence in the Lord. Of course, having church friends who accepted me felt like sweets after a bitter drink!

Today, one major lesson I learnt is that to love is also to accept. To accept one for who he/she is. To accept one without judgement. God is love and so we love. Time for me to be that sweet to others.

Proverbs 26:20 "Without wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down."

Proverbs 18:8 "The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man's inmost parts."