**Not for the faint hearted cause Sandra's gonna get thick skin**
27th September 2006 18:45:05 via sms
Old man: 1 to go JB?
Me: Nw?Y?Me gg CG nw..:)
Old man: 1 to fatten u up. You are too skinny.
Me: Haa..Well,i think i'll need to eat more.Ophir has made me lost weight.
Old man: See la..Who will want you then? See you so skinny.
Me: Too bad if they only see the outlook..:)
Old man:Aiyoyo..how do pple see the inside on the first meeting?
Me: But I AM beautiful what?Only a little skinny.. hee..
Old man: You say no use.Must see what pple say.
Me: Pple say I pretty,can or not? Hee!
Old man: Hey.. got difference between fantasy and reality and surreality you know?
Me: Oi!! You want to say I not pretty right? I am ok?
Old man: Well.. the rules is that when a girl say that, cannot defy.
Me: You and your rules! Go tell that to your daughter la..Anyway,i luv hw I look.A little skinny and "sam ba" but pretty enough.
Old man: Ya..Deceive yourself somemore.
Me: Don't crap with you already.Go CG.
Silence.
That's the sparring between old man and me. Always forcing me to eat more to put on weight.. Feels like a daughter being forced! Hee...! But I know.. old man meant well.. Gave me 2 lanterns from Vietnam (mission trip) and 6 cans of Bird's Nest drink. One for daddy, one for mummy, one for sister and three for me.. hahaha!!
28th September 2006 13:14 via card
Arrived in office receiving a card from boss who's last day is tomorrow.
*.*.**.*.**.*.**.*.**.*.**.*.**.*.**.*.**.*.**.*.**.*.**.*.**.*.**.*.**.*.**.*.**.*.**.*.**.*
Dear Sandra,
xxxxx xxxxxx x x xx x x xxxxxx (Personal)
Anyway, it was so good knwing you. My confidence in you was "constructed" to encourage you because I was boss. [In my card to him, I thanked him for his confidence in me] But I genuinely felt that you have much to offer if you will speak up more (italics own). Be bold! I see you as a very beautiful person within (and without!) that have many interesting views on the different situations you face around you. In a sense, all you need to do is just believing more in yourself. The rest, just commit to Him - Together with all the glory!
xxxxx xxxxxx x x xx x x xxxxxx (Personal)
*.*.**.*.**.*.**.*.**.*.**.*.**.*.**.*.**.*.**.*.**.*.**.*.**.*.**.*.**.*.**.*.**.*.**.*.**.*
Speak up. I have been told umpteenth time to speak up! I don't really speak up. For rights, for self, for unhappiness, for anything. I know I have been too quiet which is NOT good and I am perfectly self-aware of that.
Today in our weekly meeting, new boss went one round asking all of us what is our behaviour when we are angry with client/self/colleague and our behaviour when we are stress. Also, what is our coping mechanism.
I thought and thought and thought.. and as I thought, I stared at my lovely colleague and I said "When I am angry or stress, I will be very very very very very very VERY VERY VERY quiet." Wah!! Almost immediately, my colleague said "Yah..Very quiet! So quiet until quite scary at times!" My coping mechanism (as shared) is to leave me alone. I will sometimes just take out my earphones to listen to music too. But being quiet is just me not wanting angry words to fly cause it usually hurts and I usually can't retract it back. What I didn't share is that sometimes, when I am REALLY angry, keeping quiet is really for me to cool down, pray and reflect! And then, if time permits, I will take a walk outside and call a friend to ventilate. (I will try not to ventilate in office unless it's frustration with clients)
Heee.. I know I know.. Being quiet has its pros and cons. Like boss said, I know that I will need to speak up more and be bold and confident. I have to understand that no question is a silly question. Just speak up and ask. (And I am really trying) Yet, being quiet, is also my way of coping. I don't know how else to cope other than being quiet.
Anyhow, I am glad for an open environment in my office where we were given the opportunity as real as today - to be asked how we behaved when we get angry. Am encouraged by boss' encouragement too. For those who know, lately, I struggle a bit at work lately. I struggle being lack of confidence and I know I feel insecure at times. I am not sure if I am on the right track and am not sure if I am really a help to my clients. But I have acknowledged that I am new (in this line and this organization). Being insecure and lack of confidence is part and parcel of work life but more so, that "crisis" should be taken as an opportunity instead! To turn it around and rely more on God! To turn to Him for wisdom. And at the same time, it's ok to be humble and admit that there are things that I really don't know and it's ok to ASK. It's ok cause we are learning everyday.
Hmm... Ok ok.. I have digressed alot today. Unusually "noisy". Hee..! Just thought of sharing something that impacted me today - which is the card and the meeting. :)
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