Often times, I ask myself - What makes my best friend my best friend?
The scene that caught my eyes this morning made my thoughts wander a few years back, say 5yrs. I remember back then, there was a crisis in my life. A crisis that I know I could only share with her.
It warms my heart each time I recollect my secondary school days. When many turn their backs on me, she is always there for me. During recess time, we will always hold hands, run down the stairs to the tuckshop. She will get one plate of rice with curry veg and 2 drumstick and I will get 2 bottles of soya bean milk. On days when my pocket money is higher, it will me buying the rice. We see each other through our poor & rich days.
We are a 欢喜冤家 pair of friends in school.
When we had a quarrel at the starting of the day, we will make up during recess time.
When our quarrel is during recess time, we will make up during lunch time.
When our quarrel is during lunch time, we will make up during after school time.
There will be times even when our quarrels are so bad until our friends have to come in and intervene. Sometimes, even our teachers worry for us!
But amazingly, we always have the favour of our teachers even though our quarrels do cause a stir in the class....! :)
It wasn't until the last quarter of Sec3 that our friendship deepens cause she met with a crisis.
That crisis brought us closer and that's the end of all our daily quarrels.
Yet another crisis stuck us when we ended our Sec4. It was so bad that we didn't talk to each other. I wanted very much to know what her life was like yet our pride stopped us from all communication. We didn't talk when we took our O Level results and we did not even discuss where we going next. JC or polytechnic. Suddenly in August, she called me and told me that in 2weeks time, she will be leaving for DownUnder. Back then, I was very restrained by my parents and my curfew is not later than 8pm. I was so absolutely devastated when I couldn't see her off at the airport. I knew then the importance she held in my life.
Thereafter, I will write to her weekly. My letters were constant even though there was no reply from her. (She hate writing and emails NOT very common then) I find that SO amazing now. Even as I am typing this now, I wonder will I still do that. What kept our friendship going despite no reply from her is her "once-in-a-blue-moon" calls. That perked my days/weeks/months. In just that half an hour talk, we will literally BLAH everything that's happening in our lives. Not forgetting also when she's back for holidays, she will never fail to contact me.
When she was back for good, those were the days that we were almost inseparable.
We meet weekly and we felt that our week will be incomplete if we didn't meet.
Of course, my weeks still completed EVEN THOUGH we didn't meet.
By and by, I learn to let go and learn that no matter how close we are, we still have our lives to lead. She got attached and we just couldn't find the time to meet every week.
Initially, I thought my bearing was a little lost. I got a tad angry and a tad depressed. My life suddenly took a U-turn.
Yup... That's when I met with yet another crisis in my life and I saw how her friendship held me up by being there for me. After which, it was my turn to go DownUnder.
By then, I must say that our friendship is very much stable. No more letter writing. Not even emails. We made calls to one another cause it's so much cheaper!
There are times when she comes DownUnder though NOT to purposely visit me.
I remember, there was a time when I was SO stressed up with my project and I was in my lab doing my experiment. All of a sudden, I had an overseas call! The minute she ask me "San, how are you?", I bursted out in tears. When I rededicated my life to God and my lifestyle took a change when I returned back to Singapore, our friendship also went through another transition. A transition of both having different faith.
You know, when I watch movies/TV serials, mothers will often cry when they see their daughters marry. For me, when my best friend got married, I cried. :)
Now she being a mother of two, we sometimes still have our differences. We still have friendly debates. Her concern question will always be "When will you give your Godson a playmate?" Her husband will ALWAYS ask me "When will you ever get married?" The both of them will also once in a while challenge me in my faith.
But despite our differences, despite our different faith now, despite our different status, despite everything, I know in my heart, that this is one friend who came into my life and left an imprint in my heart. I was asked once - Name one person who changed your life. I will always name her. Cause way back 10 over years ago, she believed in me when no one else did and she still does. (Not that no one else does now though...)
I guess... I can say that it's those crisis in our lives that brought the both of us very much closer. In Social Work, Crisis is 危机. Breaking it up, 危 is danger. 机 is opportunity. When I look back, when there is a HUGE danger of our friendship breaking up, there is also an opportunity of our friendship blossoming. A matter of perspective heh!?
I love you gal.
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