Faith @ 2 months

Dear little one,

2 months have passed just like that! 2 months feels so long yet it's not long enough to fully understand what you are trying to tell me.  Often, I am like walking around in the dark fathoming what is it that you want, your likes, your dislikes.  You are definitely progressing and every other day, I will be telling your 婆婆 the little milestones that you have made.

 
You never fail to know when to smile and grin and that always have the power and ability to melt any hearts. You are pretty generous with your smiles in fact! You are now sleeping for a longer stretch, 10pm to 4am. However, there may also be times when you do wake up more times but I reckon that you are still adapting to growing up and mummy better be patient in not expecting too much from you.

The 4th to 8th week was difficult for daddy and me in trying to understand why you cry so much between 7pm to 10pm. Each time you cry, our heart ached yet keeping in mind to remain calm.  The day you turn 8 weeks, we prayed by faith that you enter the 3rd month with no more bad evenings! That day, you stopped crying and began to enjoy more of your little playtime with daddy and mummy.




Talking about play, we found that you love to be read to. You respond with your "ahs" and "ehs" and you cock your head to one side as if you understand every word I read. We also realized that carrying you after your feed is a No-No. You love the sofa so much that lying down on it stopped your frustrations. Perhaps that's because you are trying to flip.  Your neck is definitely getting stronger but I could tell that you are still working on your neck strength to flip yourself over.




It is indeed a joy and honor to be taking care of you. I am constantly reminding myself to learn how to let go of what I think it's right or wrong or my perspective of what I would like you to be, etc.. but to submit to God & seek Him first even in taking care of you and to lead you towards Him.  After all, we are the children of God and if He can take care of daddy and I so well, He will do the same for you.  Let's walk this journey together hand in hand, shall we? :)

We love you, little darling. 

Subconscious

It's amazing how our subconscious mind works.

Last Friday, I had a tough time soothing Faith from crying. Basically, it's almost part of the routine that Faith cries when evening comes.  It still remains as a mystery to us.  Sometimes we thought it's probably cause she was disturbed when she was stoning. Sometimes, we thought she doesn't have enough milk. Sometimes, we thought maybe weather turning cold. Sometimes, maybe sarong tooooo hot for her. Whatever it is, we have tried and sometimes, the ONLY way to soothe her is to take on the vertical challenge - staircase climb!

Anyway, so I was saying.  Last Friday, I had a tough time.  I walked with a bounce from one room to another room, patting the bum & creating the "shhh" sound (white noise).  After two hours, she was finally soothed then she cried again - this time for milk.  I am sure all mummies would agree with me that this scenario is just all so common.

That night, Geo was on the "night duty" and he was by her cot patting Faith when she whimpered.  Suddenly, he heard a patting sound from where I was sleeping.  He turned around and saw that I was actually patting the quilt in my sleep trying to "soothe" Faith.

Next day, when it was my turn to be on the night duty, I was feeding Faith through her little coos and whimpers.  Next thing I heard was a "Shhhh" sound coming from Geo and he was also speaking in tongues.  I thought he was awake but he was actually sleeping.

We concluded that we are tired.  We are really tired physically.  However, we know that God's strength is with us and our love for Faith has given us the ability to push us beyond the norm.  But we also know that God knows our limit so He will not give us more than what we can bear.  The next few days, Faith almost slept through the night giving us a good straight 5 hours of sleep.  I can only attribute it to God's grace upon our physical being. :)

Dearest daddy...

I heard from people that when we have our own children, we tend to miss our parents.  How true.  Just about a week ago was my daddy's death anniversary.  It has been three years and each time I reminisce the old times, I would still tear.

I remember during my contractions (or was it when I was pushing Faith), I grabbed Geo and said "I wished daddy was here to see Faith!". Likewise, during my wedding, I wished he was around to witness as well.

Now that I have Faith, I began to recall stories from my dad sharing how he took care of me when I was a baby.  He will walk the stairs whenever I kick up a fuss and can't get to sleep.  I am also a very light sleeper so at the drop of the pin, I would wake up.  I somehow see a lot of myself in Faith. My dear daughter, somehow, is also a light sleeper. She wakes up at the slightest sound (Yet she can always sleep through thunder!).  When it turns evening, she tends to cry a little more (I wish I know why!) and that's when I start doing a block stroll. I stroll along corridor, climb up and down the stairs.  As I do walk, I miss my dad.

Well, daddy dearest, I am sure you will adore and love Faith hugely if you were still around.  I believe you would probably drive down to see her every other day just to hug and kiss her. I bask in that thought of love you would have for her. :)  See you one day in the house of God & I will show you all the videos & photos I have taken of her (that's if I can bring my iPhone with me to heaven. Hee...)