Grace

It was as if a drama was unfolding before my eyes since 31 May 2008 as I helped to watch over the lives of 2 children. Fast forward to 17 April 2009's court review, both children received one statement each from the presiding judge. To one, she said "You have improved, good." To another, she sternly commanded "2 years in Boys' Home until you learn how to behave and be good."

Be good. What is good? How to measure?
These 2 questions were racing through my mind the entire afternoon.

A Friday at a court is the saddest place to be in. It's a day set aside to review Care & Protection and Beyond Parental Control cases. Sitting 4 hours at the Juvenile Court today, I observed so much emotions. The parents of the boy who was slapped with 2 years in prison seemed to be rejoicing, making my blood boil. The family of the 'improved' boy was relieved that his court order was pronounced dead. Then, I see a mother screaming at the top of her voice. Opposite me was a lady crying away, cuddling a girl in her arms. At the far corner, a boy was sobbing. In another corner, I see a couple holding hands looking really despondent. I sat, feeling so overwhelmed with deep emotions.

Fast forward to evening time. I was impatiently collecting my car from the workshop when I saw a particular religion decal on this lovely Mercedes E-class - If you want to go to Heaven, just be good.

I stared at it. Wondered. Pondered. What is good? How to measure? Gosh! Be good and then can return to family. Be good and then can go heaven. But....... WHAT IS GOOD?????

As soon as my car was ready, I quickly jumped in and took off for CG. God must have thought that it's time to give my brains a break. As I was driving, the word Grace keep hitting straight into my heart. All of a sudden, I was relieved. I nearly heard myself heaved a sigh of relief. I thank God for His grace. I thank God for His endless mercy.

I don't have to count the number of good things I do in order to go to heaven. I don't have to feel guilty for the lack falling short of doing good. Every day is a brand new day. Every day breathes chance! His mercies are new every day!

Honestly, I didn't feel good the whole day, feeling quite a failure in a way. Discouraged. Disappointed. To me, 1 success case does not make up for 1 failure case so no amount of joy can replace the sadness. However, at the end of the day, I am encouraged that God gives chances. God is gracious. God takes away the guilt, removes my fear and His direction in my life removes confusion.

Yesterday, forgiven.
Tomorrow, chance.