Geo and I watched the President's Command Performance on Sunday and was totally awed by some of the performance. What caught me in particular was Abigail Sin and Kam Ning's thanksgiving speech to God, to Him be the all glory and honor.
It was then that I thought of the Parable of the Talents. A master gave his 3 servants 5, 2 and 1 talent each. The servant with the 5 talents invested the 5 and gained 5 more. The second servant invested and gained 2 more. The servant with the 1 talent, in fear, dug a hole and protected that 1 talent by doing nothing with it. As the parable went, after a long time, the servants accounted their talents to their master. The master was VERY pleased with the first two servants who doubled their talents and he was very angry with the servant who did nothing with his 1 talent and chased him out.
As I watched on at the performers, I marveled at them. I marveled at how they had used their ONE talent and brought it to a greater level. I marveled at the hard work and effort they had put in to master that ONE talent to perfection. Not only hard work and effort but how they had put in expression and life into their music. They had put in their heart. And with that one talent they had, they attributed everything back to God.
I began to dig deep and question of my talent, of my gifting. Have I used it well? It's not about honing the MANY MANY things that I love to do, I want to do but honing the ONE thing that God has given me.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Tenacity
As someone who is trying to guide a few people at work, this is what I have learned - through the hard way. People are assets to an organization. Relationship matters at work.
*This calendar reminds me always to do a check on my critical spirit*
At the same time, to always remind me that God has given me the tenacity to go on despite setbacks and discouragements. Man will disappoint us but God will give us the courage and strength to let go and move up to our next level. Amen!
Grace
It was as if a drama was unfolding before my eyes since 31 May 2008 as I helped to watch over the lives of 2 children. Fast forward to 17 April 2009's court review, both children received one statement each from the presiding judge. To one, she said "You have improved, good." To another, she sternly commanded "2 years in Boys' Home until you learn how to behave and be good."
Be good. What is good? How to measure?
These 2 questions were racing through my mind the entire afternoon.
A Friday at a court is the saddest place to be in. It's a day set aside to review Care & Protection and Beyond Parental Control cases. Sitting 4 hours at the Juvenile Court today, I observed so much emotions. The parents of the boy who was slapped with 2 years in prison seemed to be rejoicing, making my blood boil. The family of the 'improved' boy was relieved that his court order was pronounced dead. Then, I see a mother screaming at the top of her voice. Opposite me was a lady crying away, cuddling a girl in her arms. At the far corner, a boy was sobbing. In another corner, I see a couple holding hands looking really despondent. I sat, feeling so overwhelmed with deep emotions.
Fast forward to evening time. I was impatiently collecting my car from the workshop when I saw a particular religion decal on this lovely Mercedes E-class - If you want to go to Heaven, just be good.
I stared at it. Wondered. Pondered. What is good? How to measure? Gosh! Be good and then can return to family. Be good and then can go heaven. But....... WHAT IS GOOD?????
As soon as my car was ready, I quickly jumped in and took off for CG. God must have thought that it's time to give my brains a break. As I was driving, the word Grace keep hitting straight into my heart. All of a sudden, I was relieved. I nearly heard myself heaved a sigh of relief. I thank God for His grace. I thank God for His endless mercy.
I don't have to count the number of good things I do in order to go to heaven. I don't have to feel guilty for the lack falling short of doing good. Every day is a brand new day. Every day breathes chance! His mercies are new every day!
Honestly, I didn't feel good the whole day, feeling quite a failure in a way. Discouraged. Disappointed. To me, 1 success case does not make up for 1 failure case so no amount of joy can replace the sadness. However, at the end of the day, I am encouraged that God gives chances. God is gracious. God takes away the guilt, removes my fear and His direction in my life removes confusion.
Yesterday, forgiven.
Tomorrow, chance.
Be good. What is good? How to measure?
These 2 questions were racing through my mind the entire afternoon.
A Friday at a court is the saddest place to be in. It's a day set aside to review Care & Protection and Beyond Parental Control cases. Sitting 4 hours at the Juvenile Court today, I observed so much emotions. The parents of the boy who was slapped with 2 years in prison seemed to be rejoicing, making my blood boil. The family of the 'improved' boy was relieved that his court order was pronounced dead. Then, I see a mother screaming at the top of her voice. Opposite me was a lady crying away, cuddling a girl in her arms. At the far corner, a boy was sobbing. In another corner, I see a couple holding hands looking really despondent. I sat, feeling so overwhelmed with deep emotions.
Fast forward to evening time. I was impatiently collecting my car from the workshop when I saw a particular religion decal on this lovely Mercedes E-class - If you want to go to Heaven, just be good.
I stared at it. Wondered. Pondered. What is good? How to measure? Gosh! Be good and then can return to family. Be good and then can go heaven. But....... WHAT IS GOOD?????
As soon as my car was ready, I quickly jumped in and took off for CG. God must have thought that it's time to give my brains a break. As I was driving, the word Grace keep hitting straight into my heart. All of a sudden, I was relieved. I nearly heard myself heaved a sigh of relief. I thank God for His grace. I thank God for His endless mercy.
I don't have to count the number of good things I do in order to go to heaven. I don't have to feel guilty for the lack falling short of doing good. Every day is a brand new day. Every day breathes chance! His mercies are new every day!
Honestly, I didn't feel good the whole day, feeling quite a failure in a way. Discouraged. Disappointed. To me, 1 success case does not make up for 1 failure case so no amount of joy can replace the sadness. However, at the end of the day, I am encouraged that God gives chances. God is gracious. God takes away the guilt, removes my fear and His direction in my life removes confusion.
Yesterday, forgiven.
Tomorrow, chance.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Excitement
Today my big boss asked me "So Sandra, HOW? Can the team take this uphill task? Can this team come together? Are you excited to manage this team?"
Last week, we had another core team meeting and my big boss asked 3 of us "Can or not? Can stir up some excitement in the team? The team can't work if there is no excitement. Need to motivate! You know ah... This job really needs us to be beyond self and excitement is needed! Else, the work is just work."
Last year, I was moaning over one of the many reports that I had to do. Then in the midst of the moaning session, my immediate supervisor smiled and asked "Do you like doing such reports? Are you excited about it?" Profile reports are just simply something that I really dread doing. I do not detest it. In fact, I do like doing such reports. Just that it's tedious that it takes my time off the actual work that I could be doing with the kids.
There was emphasis on the word excitement. Life is a journey. A journey to be enjoyed. A process to be delighted in. A journey to be excited about. So often, we we go through the daily routine of life that soon, it becomes mundane. A job becomes a job. Life loses its meaning. Excitement & child-likeness is gone.
Yesterday, a resident asked me about Jesus. Then he shared that he cried over the movie, Passion of Christ. And today, over dinner with the same resident, he shared with me that he has recently accepted Christ and he exclaimed "Sandra, don't worry! I am not worried about this Friday's court session because Jesus will help me."
I am absolutely refreshed by the simple faith. When I see this excitement and child-like faith, I just know that this child's journey is certain and has a great plan.
Am I excited about life?
Last week, we had another core team meeting and my big boss asked 3 of us "Can or not? Can stir up some excitement in the team? The team can't work if there is no excitement. Need to motivate! You know ah... This job really needs us to be beyond self and excitement is needed! Else, the work is just work."
Last year, I was moaning over one of the many reports that I had to do. Then in the midst of the moaning session, my immediate supervisor smiled and asked "Do you like doing such reports? Are you excited about it?" Profile reports are just simply something that I really dread doing. I do not detest it. In fact, I do like doing such reports. Just that it's tedious that it takes my time off the actual work that I could be doing with the kids.
There was emphasis on the word excitement. Life is a journey. A journey to be enjoyed. A process to be delighted in. A journey to be excited about. So often, we we go through the daily routine of life that soon, it becomes mundane. A job becomes a job. Life loses its meaning. Excitement & child-likeness is gone.
Yesterday, a resident asked me about Jesus. Then he shared that he cried over the movie, Passion of Christ. And today, over dinner with the same resident, he shared with me that he has recently accepted Christ and he exclaimed "Sandra, don't worry! I am not worried about this Friday's court session because Jesus will help me."
I am absolutely refreshed by the simple faith. When I see this excitement and child-like faith, I just know that this child's journey is certain and has a great plan.
Am I excited about life?
Friday, April 10, 2009
Blessings
Whenever we talk about blessings, it's often physical things that God has given to us through prayers, through waiting. Today, I just want to give thanks for the things that I have unknowingly taken for granted.
I had a meal with my mum and sis one afternoon and I was sharing with them my week.
My week was filled with 2 major incidents that involved police. Woken up in the middle of the night and never being able to get back to bed, worried. Uptight is probably the word that could described me best. I couldn't sleep well at night, my shoulders are tensed and each time I close my eyes, I dream of my kids. I could only sleep after I prayed and told God to take care of the kids. When I get to work, it's scary. All we could do was trial and error for we know that with children in pain, we never know what we are going to get.
And so, I was sharing with my family my week. Sis made a statement "Actually children really just need family." Then she turned and asked mummy "What if one of our cousins were left orphaned, would you take them in?" My mummy immediately said "Yes! Of course!" Ultimately, we all agreed that the process would be tough but if family do not help, who will?
At that moment, I feel so blessed. So blessed with a family who believes in family, a family who doesn't believe in giving up.
All right, now, I am going to thank God for my enticing bed.
- Dinner prepared by mummy daily so I know that no matter how late I knock off from work, I have something warm to eat when I return home. No matter how simple the meal is, it is cooked with love.
- Occasional quarrels with sister. Though quarrels' not something we totally enjoy but I am assured by her existence because she has taught me for 30 years how to take care of someone. She has given me the assurance that no matter what happened, she will stand by me.
- An exhausting week because of a job. A job that had taught me how to feel the sadness and joy of life. A job that helped me learn how to see life through the eyes of Jesus. A job that gives me my daily physical bread as compared to the many out there who are hungry.
- Keys to my home that leads to my bed. I thank God for the privacy that I could have.
- Thank God for the fact that I can run, walk, talk, hear, see. I thank God for health that no money can buy.
I had a meal with my mum and sis one afternoon and I was sharing with them my week.
My week was filled with 2 major incidents that involved police. Woken up in the middle of the night and never being able to get back to bed, worried. Uptight is probably the word that could described me best. I couldn't sleep well at night, my shoulders are tensed and each time I close my eyes, I dream of my kids. I could only sleep after I prayed and told God to take care of the kids. When I get to work, it's scary. All we could do was trial and error for we know that with children in pain, we never know what we are going to get.
And so, I was sharing with my family my week. Sis made a statement "Actually children really just need family." Then she turned and asked mummy "What if one of our cousins were left orphaned, would you take them in?" My mummy immediately said "Yes! Of course!" Ultimately, we all agreed that the process would be tough but if family do not help, who will?
At that moment, I feel so blessed. So blessed with a family who believes in family, a family who doesn't believe in giving up.
All right, now, I am going to thank God for my enticing bed.
Tuesday, April 07, 2009
C.O.W.A.R.D.
Over the weekend, I had a talk with 3 friends, separately. After those chats, I realized something about myself - I am a C.O.W.A.R.D. at work. Suddenly, it all became clear - I had fear in voicing my opinions and in doing that, I created a blurred role at work. I was also lack in confidence in the role that was given to me. The little molehill I built is becoming to look like a mountain, unknowingly.
It was scary having to come to realization. I stand before two paths. Which road should I journey? The down slope, wide lane? Or the steep, narrow path? One is to remain where I am, comfortable going through the motions of life, which means no progress? Or one that requires me to work at gaining muscles?
I decided and resolute that I will NOT remain a coward. It's amazing. When I made that resolution, there were opportunities for me to speak to my superiors. No doubt, there were the initial hesitation in sharing my thoughts and how I feel. However, in fear, I remembered my resolution and learned to speak up.
I shared with 1 of the 3 friends and was encouraged by this statement - "True greatness, true courage doesn't lie in the absence of fear... but in our ability to use it and, in so doing, transcend the very nature of fear itself"
Ultimately, I learned that we should not limit ourselves because my limiting ourselves, we are limiting God to work through us. Letting go and letting God. Easier said than done but rewards are fulfilling.
It was scary having to come to realization. I stand before two paths. Which road should I journey? The down slope, wide lane? Or the steep, narrow path? One is to remain where I am, comfortable going through the motions of life, which means no progress? Or one that requires me to work at gaining muscles?
I decided and resolute that I will NOT remain a coward. It's amazing. When I made that resolution, there were opportunities for me to speak to my superiors. No doubt, there were the initial hesitation in sharing my thoughts and how I feel. However, in fear, I remembered my resolution and learned to speak up.
I shared with 1 of the 3 friends and was encouraged by this statement - "True greatness, true courage doesn't lie in the absence of fear... but in our ability to use it and, in so doing, transcend the very nature of fear itself"
Ultimately, I learned that we should not limit ourselves because my limiting ourselves, we are limiting God to work through us. Letting go and letting God. Easier said than done but rewards are fulfilling.
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