Monday, July 10, 2006

Alcohol & Women

When I woke up this morning, I switched on my little black box and saw that Oprah Winfrey was on. I wanted to switch it off because I thought it's yet another talkshow on TV artistes. But I got stuck to it. It was an interview with this mother who drank too much.

Her testimony as follows:

She grew up in a loving home, was a star tennis player and homecoming queen in high school. But now, her life is nothing like the bright future she had once dreamed for herself.

Sarah, who says she drinks alcohol every day to calm her nerves and to ease daily stress, is one of an estimated five million mothers in the country struggling with alcohol problems. She often drinks when she takes her kids to the park, and sneaks sips of beer in her bedroom at home, hiding the empty bottles under her bed.

"I get to the point where I can feel that I'm so uncomfortable with the stress, frustration, exhaustion—what I really want to calm it quickly is the alcohol," explains Sarah. " And I can literally feel going from the skin crawling to just this warm tingle come through me."

Addiction specialist Debra Jay says Sarah's problem is much bigger than she realizes.

"The truth is, you are an alcoholic—there is no doubt about it," Debra says. "To have a problem at 30 [years old], you need to do something, because you are going to be dead by 40. This is a serious problem. It's not about wanting to get help, it's just about doing it."

Sarah is setting up her children for a lifetime of confusion and failure, Debra says. "Your alcoholism is changing who they are," she tells Sarah. "Your little boy—he's having to grow up and not even have a childhood, because he has to be your parent…He'll never let people close to him."

Sarah used to look at alcoholic mothers and wonder why they couldn't quit for their children's sake. "I swore I'd never, ever, be a mom who drank.…[but now,] I would say in the last year I've gotten to the place where I'm drinking alone, and drinking at home...a lot."

"I want to be able to take my kids to the park…to take my kids swimming and not feel like I need to be buzzed to do it," Sarah sobs. "I've tried and I'll keep trying. I don't want to be a mom who drinks…I want a new chapter in my life."

==

As she teared in the show, I found myself tearing too. I salute her effort for when she recognized it, she got herself to an institution which helped her curb her addiction. I salute her love for children cause mothers are so sacrificing. She drank so that she can be less stress when she's with her kids. But she curb so that she can be a better mother for the kids. I am not saying that I agree with drinking to relief stress (Personally I don't) but I am saying that in almost every decision that she makes, it's for the children - whether it's a right or wrong decision, it's not for me to judge. I salute her openness to share. Opening up has placed her in a vulnerable position yet she took it up.

There are many social issues around. Yesterday during the Team Rally at church, I was passing this statement, yet again, "IF ONLY, so & so can come to know this God who can love unconditionally! Wouldn't it be fantastic?"

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