Ultra sad

As I try to make the best out of everything, I really can't help but feel that it's a DEEP battle within me.
I am trying to NOT feel sad. NOT feel frustrated. NOT feel sick of work.
YET, I am real downright frustrated!

Today then I realised that tomorrow I've a clinic walk to a Park!
Man!!!!!!!
I really can't help it but feel so bounded by work work work work!
And worst part is that I dun even have the "right" to say no...
In my performance appraisal, boss say "I want to see more of you in clinic events."
I ain't much of a person who likes to be "forced" to do things.
And the fact that it seemingly affect my appraisal makes me feel so sickening.

*sob*
Somehow, the struggle of loving and hating my job seems possible.
Somehow, I suddenly feel that loving and hating something at the same time is possible.
Then after that, I feel that it's such a struggle and tiring hating my job.
Asked myself "Hey.. why not just make the best out of it? You can get closer to your colleagues!!"
Then after awhile, my mood a bit better...
Then after awhile, my mood got worse again..

*sob**sob*

Guess that's the real world........... real working world....

I think it's time for me to go let out to God liao...