Parenting - One Year Old

After one year, I've learnt that:

1. Parenting is an art! One has to multitask, be creative, be fully present.  I had spoken to so many parents in my course of work and I have to admit, I am often, if not always child-focused.  After being a parent, I experienced for myself what it really is like to be one. It is not easy.

Last week, I saw a disheveled looking mother dressed shabbily with her very active son in the train.  Once the son was in the train, he ran to all passengers from one door to another to say Hi to all of them. He came up close to almost everyone and when he returned to his mother, who was leaning against the glass, he ran and hit the glass, scaring an elderly lady sitting down there (as if blocking a blow from him).  Ok, you get the idea how active the son is.

The mother? Well, she was zen.  I believe it's not the first time that she is going through this.  She waited for her son to return to her, got him to sit down while she sits on the floor of the train, whipped out a book and started to teach him.

In the past, honestly, my first thoughts would be probably be why is the mother so relaxed and not doing anything to stop the child or at least attempt to. After that I will probably be assessing the child's behavior.  This time round, I was able to complete empathize the mother and see why all the more she should be relaxed.

2. Babies are like wet non-dripping sponge. They learn, they absorb and they implement! I see Faith mimicking me quite a bit. Only just now, she was 'wiping' her playmat with her hands cos I was wiping it with a cloth. Yesterday, she mimicked my mum folding clothes. I figured then that if I want to inculcate responsibility in her to do household chores, I better set a good example!

3. Amazingly, food will get into Faith's mouth no matter how she plays with it balancing on her tiny fingers. Each time I think it'll drop to the floor, it'll drop into her mouth.

4. No point fighting over meal times. Power struggle will only see the baby winning. 

5. That there's many things I've to learn to let go. I can't be too picky on cleanliness with a baby around especially when it's eating time. Baby throws food. If baby doesn't want to sleep yet, chill. The more anxious I am to get her to sleep, the more she stays awake.  A baby captures the caregivers' emotions more than anybody.

6. Think about the weaning process before starting something.

7. There's plenty of information from Internet, from people, from books, etc. There's a need to discern and slowly cater to the needs of your child. 

8. Baby is getting to know us just as we are getting to know baby. Don't set expectations too high. Allow trial and error. It's ok to fail. Pick things up and tomorrow's a new day!

9. Important to find support. Talk to someone. Balance well between sanity of mum and needs of child. I thank God for friends, for friends I've made over forum pages. So comforting to know that I'm not alone struggling.  Now, I enjoy talking to mummies more than ever before! Hi-Bye friends suddenly become my best friends after we both turn mummies.

10. Marriage. Marriage will be affected inevitably with the coming of a child. Two different people coming together to live one life, to nurture another life. Wow! It's mind blowing honestly. There are days Geo's so tired and when there's no response from him when I talk about Faith, I jump on him and snap real fast, forgetting that he also has to face his daily stresses at work.  There are also positive affection after a child.  We talk more, chat more, discuss more about the future.  Prior to having a child, life was simpler. 

Just yesterday I was sharing with Geo how frustrated I can be with Faith being unpredictable and refusal of food and refusal to sleep unless I carry her.  My concern is something of the future.  I am very worried that she cannot adapt to being in a childcare.  Geo then told me to fight my battles one at a time.  Faith changes from time to time since she's constantly learning so no one can tell how she is like 6-8 months from now.

I thank God for Geo because he is really my moderator.  He moderates and calms me down.  I believe he is also concern for Faith but he just has this innate ability to be calm and I believe this is also how grounded he is in God, believing that ultimately, it's God who will see us through.

11. All these that's been said, all that I've learnt, I still struggle daily. I'm still learning to die to myself daily, to tell myself 'hey, it's ok to fail today. Just don't make same mistake twice!'.

So Lord, unto you I commit myself again.  More of you and less of me.  Teach me to be a parent because You are the best teacher anyone could have!