Home

Home is defined from dictionary.com as a place in which one's domestic affections are centred.  What exactly does Home means to me then?

Home is a place where I feel most belonged.  Home is where I can host friends and they feel belonged too.  Home is where your loved ones waits for you.  Home is a place of comfort.  Home is a place where I can leave my worries outside and know that whoever is at home embraces me.  Home is where my heart resides.

After 6 weeks of being stuck at home, I finally made a trip back home - church.  It coincides also with the church's official opening at her new venue.  I decided to start my morning with a trip to HopeKids.  Then, I proceeded to the baby's room, I was glad that Faith was happily sleeping in the carrier so I could enjoy the entire P&W session.

Tears just flowed at the start of the service.  I started growing as a Christian in this church movement back in 2000 when I was in Brisbane.  I was caught by the vision and mission to plant churches all around the world to spread the gospel to fulfill the great commission.  Though I have yet felt that calling to depart from Singapore to another part of the world, it was in this church that my burden grew for people.  It was also in this church that I processed through the pains in my growing up years and thus healing.  In this church, I saw friends like my family.  I know that when I need a sounding board, I will get it.  When I am so in need of prayers, all I have to do is just to call someone.  I never once felt lost when I am at home.  When my dad passed away, I safely depended on my friends to prepare the service for me.  When I suffered my miscarriage, friends cried along with me.  When I conceived again, friends danced together with me.  I am thankful for all the shepherds in my life who took care of me & dared to speak truth into my life.

I have spent a good 12 years in this church.  Not a very long period of time but ain't short either.  I pray that as the church grows, we will continue to keep the bond strong horizontally with one another and vertically with God.

The day you turned 6 weeks old

Dearest Faith,

"Your 6-week old's development:

Now that your baby's awake for longer period during the day, you can use these times to support his sensory development. Try singing your favorite lullabies or playing music. Don't limit yourself to children's sons. Fill the house with the sounds of music and watch as your baby expresses his pleasure through coos, lip smacks, and jerking arm and leg movements.

Your baby may not be able to talk yet, but his face is sure telling you a lot.  He's experimenting with different facial expressions - pursing his lips, raising his eyebrows, widening or squinting his eyes and furrowing his brow.

- From Baby Centre"

It's amazing how I felt that you were already a 6-week old baby when you were 4 weeks old. You never fail to amaze your daddy and me with the various expressions that you love to make.  Mummy's favorite expression of your is the one where you look most satisfied and you want no more milk down your little tummy.

Caring for you still remained the greatest challenge yet the greatest satisfaction.  Never in my life have I faced with a situation where I could be so helpless. How I wish that God will throw me a manual.  Yet, it's also in those helpless situations that I find myself seeking more of God for His wisdom.

You are growing progressively well and adapting very well to the bedtime routine.  By 8:30 - 9pm, we would prepare you for your wipe down.  You enjoy looking at the ribbon mobile that mummy made for you and coupled with the music, that was sufficient for you to know it's diaper change or wipe down time. Thereafter the wipe down, we will feed you at 9-9:30pm and then you enjoy your time alone to stone till about 10pm and you amazingly just doze off yourself to sleep.  You could sleep for a stretch up to 2am.  After the 2am feed, another stretch to about 6:30am with a cuddle break at 5am.  Daddy and I are super proud of you yet at the same time, very thankful to God for His grace.  We give thanks for you are indeed an easy girl to care for.

 

You recently also had your Hep B jab and had your development assessment done.  Despite your small appetite of 80mls per feed, you are growing well and you are now a good 4.1kg. Mummy's arms are getting some biceps soon!  PD complimented what a good-natured little girl you are.  You courageously took your jab, shouted out with a sharp cry and as soon as let out that cry, you stopped. Hey! You take jabs easier than mummy!

We also recently noticed that you don't take your feeding very well. Every few suckles, you will yank your head off the bottle in anger but you will cry for milk.  When you start to suckle again, you got angry.  After awhile, it does get worrying.  Trial and error and we decided to get you a new milk bottle.  Ta-da! That milk bottle worked like magic! Seeing how you happily suckle and drink makes all the money spent so worthwhile.

Daddy and I are beginning to bring you out a little more often now.  A trip to McDonald's for breakfast, a trip to Nex to buy stuffs for you, a trip to church.. So far, you seemed to be taking it well but wondering if it could be due to the fact that you sleep through except when you are due for your feed.  In fact, we are beginning to think that you love being outside! Each time you cry, a walk along the corridor or void deck was sufficient to put you to sleep.

Daddy continues to bathe you every morning before he goes to work and daddy always rushes home immediately after work if there's no Lifegroup or band practice.  But on those days, daddy will still rush home JUST in case you might just be awake so to give you a goodnight kiss.  As for mummy, I cannot imagine having to go through separation anxiety when the time comes for me to return to work.

We love you our little feisty darling.

Morning look.. :)

Family outing when Faith turned 6 weeks old - Haircut!

Month old

My dear expressive little one,

You are officially one month old today.  Daddy and I are learning something new about you daily. Found that you have moments where you just love being by yourself.  When 奶奶 or myself tried to carry you, you would cry. Only when you were placed back to your cot that you calmed down.  You can coo and look around for a full hour with such alert eyes and not feel bored.  I often wonder what about my wardrobe that you love so much? :)

Today you were a tad cranky. I began to wonder if I had read your hunger cues wrongly.  Of the many feeds, only one feed you drank well and drank all.  With the other feeds, you cried after every 3 suckles. After many diapers change and fed, you continued to cry.  Finally carried you and walked up and down the corridor.  You love it so much that you fell asleep fast! You know, when mummy was a baby, that's what your 公公 did for me, only that he climbed stairs.

My dear little one, you have brought so much life and color to our lives.  We love you and we don't want anything less than what you are teaching us. We pray daily that God will watch over you and you will learn of His love for you.

Techniques

Just weighed you my little darling & you are finally almost a kg above your birth weight - 2.9kg.  It is so nice seeing you getting chubbier and rounder in your cheeks, both face and bottom. :)

Today you were a tad cranky not wanting to sleep until you had your bath despite having your favorite massage by Aunty.  No matter how I tried to carry you, put you in the sarong, cajoled you to sleep (or so I thought), your eyes will be brightly lit up in less than 5 minutes.  I concluded that the crankiness was a result of the morning bath that was skipped in view of the massage and so you had your evening bath slightly earlier.  You cried so much when I tried to wash your hair, face, mouth but kept smiling and laughing when you are placed inside the tub.  You, little one, just love bath time! You slept through thereafter.

I enjoy seeing you hiccup, somehow.  Reminds me warmly of the moments when you were inside of me. Everyday, I will await the moment when you have your daily hiccups.  Now, you can hiccup through a feed.  Sometimes, you can hiccup almost an hour after a feed! That's almost as long (& more) as we need to carry you to get you to sleep because you just love to be cuddled.

Now, burping is the other art that we need to learn.  Sometimes, you burp so fast while seated upright on lap.  Sometimes, you take forever to burp.  As if in replacement, you let out a loud fart.  You also love to be on daddy's shoulders upright.  Sometimes you burp, sometimes you fall asleep.

I guess what mummy is trying to tell you, my darling, is that I am still trying to understand and know you.  You are such a unique individual and I am trying to understand the meaning of each cry.  It's really one thing to attend classes and know the techniques, it's another to have you with us and KNOW the techniques. :)

Nonetheless, my little darling, we love you. :)

3 weeks old

Parenting is a school for spiritual formation

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And our children are our teachers

-Gary Thomas-

Dear Faith,

Such a miracle you are to daddy and myself.  Last year at 6 weeks of conception, you gave daddy and me a scare when I suddenly bled.  It was a relief when Dr Wen said that all is well with you.  Then, I knew that you are one strong resilient little one.

As you turn 3 weeks old tomorrow, I still tear each time I look at you when you sleep.  I love to just sit by your side and stare at you when you sleep. That peaceful look is priceless.  Time spent with you is so precious.  Whenever I look at you, I still can't believe that you are finally out and we are daddy and mummy to a little girl.  In the last 3 weeks when daddy and I hands on to take care of you, I wished God will just drop us a manual or a to-do list so that we know what we can do for you or what those cries mean.

You are one little girl with a character.  When you need your feed, you will cry till your little face turned all red until you get your milk.  Thus, every 3 hours, we would have our mini battle of you needing to latch on correctly to my breasts.  You love cleanliness so with each pee and each poo, daddy knows that he will have to change your diaper. You love to be hugged to sleep and when you are put down, you'll start to whimper to be carried again.  To be honest, we just love to carry and cuddle and kiss you.  Sometimes, to the point I pray that you would not be too spoilt by all these carrying, cuddling and kissing. :)

You never fail to brighten up our day with your endless expressions.  Popo, yiyi, daddy and I can stand forever at your cot looking at your expressions changing almost every second.  We wonder, how could a newborn be so ever expressive?!

The first two weeks, we were so convinced that you dislike bathing! Now, bath time is daddy's mini battle with you.  You would cry your lungs out whenever daddy attempted to bathe you for that 1.5 weeks.  After 2 weeks of stay at Popo's house, daddy and I decided that we are truly the new kids on the block when it comes to caring for a newborn.  We hired a nanny for 2 weeks so that we can learn the basics, right from feeding to sterilizing to bathing to changing of clothes.

In just 21 days, you braved the hospital 4 times.  When you were 5 days old, we got a scare when your temperature reached 37.2deg.  Your doctor, Dr Terence Tan, was sharp and immediately knew that you might be dehydrated in view that mummy wasn't able to latch you on properly.  At the same time, doc decided to put you on photo therapy to bring your jaundice level down.  You were then known to Dr Tan as a little chilli padi.  You fought your health back without much injections and by the 3rd day, you were discharged.  We went back to the hospital again 2 more times for you and me to learn how to be breastfeed and be breastfed properly.  The 4th time was just last night when you refused to sleep cause of the wind in your stomach.  We were so worried that all those crying will make things worse for you and decided to bring you back to the hospital for medication.

Motherhood has changed me and it's a role which I have never thought I would have felt an overwhelmed of emotions.  It is also one of the toughest role that I have ever attempted to take up.  Never have I been this stretched in my capacity to love.  Never have I had someone so dependent on me before either.  In your little ways, you have taught me so much.  You are a reminder to us how gracious God is to us.  As we seek God for more wisdom as parents, may you also know of the love God has for you.  

We love you, our little darling Faith.