A handmade gift

I LOVE handmade gifts! It speaks a lot to me - really. The thought process behind it, the effort put in, the words written. I love it.

Today, I received a gift from Nelson, a very good friend, from a CG which I had recently left (to join HopeKids). A photo album! This friend really know how to buy my heart. Photos and handmade. I am bowled over...! *smile*

Has my name on it! Hee... 恩

My little FerZ CG. FerZ stands for Fervent Zest, Fervently Zealous for God, FerZ.
Yup, I miss them. :)

The man behind all this lovely self-made album.

Today

How often have I gone "Shit! I should have made the decision yesterday!", "Aiya! Why didn't this happened to me?". Too often we wallow in self pity. Too often we mull over the what-we-have-already-lost and missed on on the what-we-could-have.

I'd be honest. Very honest. I was reading blogs, watching short prayer clips on the happenings Down Under in our Hope Brisbane church. Memories journeyed back to the LC at Hong Kong last year and I was wow-ed by the presence of God when it was the Brisbane's worship band. I thought "Wow!!! I haven't had that type of Wow moment for a long time." (With no offense to anybody in Singapore please)

I started to wonder "What a difference it WOULD would WOULD have made to me if I had continued my stay there in Brisbane!". That thought floated from my left brain to my right brain and soon, it dwindled. Suddenly, I heard a voice telling me "Tell me, what difference COULD you, YES YOU!!, have made if you had remained in Brisbane?".

Trust me, my heart skipped aplenty. I nearly fell off my chair. I thought I could not breathe. Literally. I was shocked and astounded. Immediately, I prayed, sought forgiveness and humbled myself before God. Man! That green question was such a reminder of my selfishness, more of me ME ME, a reminder of my ability to be envious, my ability to be a receiver and not a giver, a reminder of how covetous I can be.

This is not the first time I wondered how different life would have been if I had stayed on in Brisbane (not that I am utterly in love with Brisbane also). However, none of it spoke to me like how God spoke to me this time.

I have only one life to live and I want to live it to the best. I do not want to look back at what I did not do yesterday and regret. I do not want to live in the thought of "What I should have" but to live in the thoughts of "What I already have and can achieve". There is only one Today. By the time it's Tomorrow, Today is gone. Time is the ONLY asset that I can never retrieve. God says that Today is the day that He has made and urged us to be glad and rejoice in it. Yes, there will still be moments of regret but it's ok! I make mistakes.. (Just don't make the same mistake the 2nd time). Hee...

"We demolish arguments and every pretention that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."
2 Corinthians 10:5 (NIV)

God's love

This ain't new for some but watching it again brims my eyes with tears. Each time I watch, that happens.

Summarized the Christian faith. Summarized God's love.



"For God so greatly loved and dearly prized the world that He [even] gave up His only begotten (unique) Son, so that whoever believes in (trusts in, clings to, relies on) Him shall not perish (come to destruction, be lost) but have eternal (everlasting) life."
John 3:16 (Amplified Bible)

Prayer Works!

I just want to share one thing today:

Prayer works!!! One of my kid's family is one step closer to God! I am just more than overjoyed.. :)

Farewell

A quick post before I disappear for awhile.

Ferz CG celebrated Zann and my farewell on Saturday. (Yupz, I have moved on to the Hopekids CG and it has been exciting!)

It has been nearly 8 years that I have been under the leadership of Penny, being both my CL and my shepherd. I am grateful for giving her my youth (hee!) because in return, I have gained maturity and wisdom. [Actually, I think it's her giving me HER youth. I must have added a few strands of grey hair]. I believe that if not for her patience, perseverance and love, I would not be where I am right now. She has seen me though the various seasons of my life, Winter, Summer, Autumn and Spring, been with me through my valleys and my peaks.

This is also the CG in which I have gained friendship. Honestly, I am not your usual sociable girl who has plenty of friends outside. Often, I do feel that my life is my church's life. Without my church life (aka CG life), I'd probably have very little social life. Through CG, I have learned how to love people, I have learned how to develop friendships.

Not forgetting that every relationship has its 'sorrows' too. I struggled with CG through its down moments, yet remembering that every struggle is only for the better. I will always remember this CG who loves God because no matter how bad times were, we stuck together for only one purpose - Because we love God.

I am excited to move on because I know that it's for a greater purpose and calling. Cheers!

Learning difficulties

An Education Psychologist told me today - The challenge in teaching children with learning difficulties is in helping them grasp the concept. We are not to just teach and they do. We are to empower them skills.

I remembered during my University days as I studied as to be an Engineer, I struggled SO much. The ONLY reason why I could get even a 2nd upper honors is simply because I purposefully chose subjects that has Mathematics components in it. However, if you ask me if I understand how those Laplace Transformations or Fourier Series is associated with Digital Signal Processing, I do not know. I only know that Mathematics can be scored well if I practice hard. I studied 2 years. The first year and half was such a torture for me. There was a period of time where my only way of coping was to cry. I cried for a month odd. That sense of frustration was so 'Argh!' that could have the ability to dis-empower my self-esteem (if not for prayers). By God's grace, in my last half year, I began to grasp concepts and was able to understand better. I felt lighter, freer.

I often think that I am a slow learner. I do think that I have what they call 'Learning difficulties" when I was young. To a certain extend, I am able to feel how frustrated my kids can be in their classes. They may be in Primary 6 but their cognitive level could just well be Primary 1. For a child who has the added protective factor to be patient to sit through the class and know how to regulate emotions, good - No acting up, just lots of inner frustrations perhaps. For a child who lacks the patience and self-control, it's no wonder why he would choose to roam around the school compound.

I am typing this out of frustration because I do find that our normal school system does not have the capacity to manage children of lower cognitive level YET not fit into any special needs school. Yes, I am praying for God to intervene in one of my kids. Today, I return home feeling deeply saddened.