3 days into the CNY

Don't wanna "talk" much so let the pictures do the talking... :)

New Year's Eve
Now.. What did I do 3 days ago??? Oh.. Okie, had reunion lunch at Geo's place. Headed to PS to buy mummy a pair of Crocs as a gift (really wanted to get it before CNY. Been so tight with time that the Eve's the best time). Before heading home for steamboat reunion dinner, visited my dad together with sis. Frankly, dinner was good but it doesn't feel right without my dad at the table.

"Traffic light" at hospital visiting daddy

Steamboat Reunion dinner @ home

Wii-ing after dinner

"Show me the money!!" - New PJs, New bedsheets

CNY Day 1

Visited my 2nd Aunt's & 1st Uncle's place in the morning & early afternoon. After which, bai-nian at Geo's place - then dinner & an accident had to occur. :(

Nephew, Joel - Very famous in Facebook

On my way home with Geo. Filtering out and was kissed in my butt. Car at the back thought I was moving and accelerated. Head jerked and I got a whiplash (a new word to my vocabulary as taught by sis).

CNY Day 2

Plan on Day 2 was to bring the dogs for an early morning walk then to visit my dad. Timing slightly off and dad was sleeping when we visited. *Sigh*.. Dad's been sleeping quite a bit these days. Movements has been an issue but sugar level's slightly under control. Been asked several times if we should consider a Nursing Home as mummy can't take care of daddy alone. The risk of fall is high and if daddy fall on mummy, it'll be disastrous. However, putting daddy in a nursing home seemed like such an unfilial thing to do. Thought of hiring a private nurse but would cost be an issue? A maid? We do not have an extra room for a maid though. Well, one step at a time. Let's see how the doctors at the Acute Hospital can clear dad of his medical issues and to move on to the Community Hospital.

Magazine covers

Hahaha!! Was haggling with time so I thought I do conjure something with photos. Found this interesting site, MagMyPic.

Prepared? Barely!

As I entered dad's ward today, I saw a family waiting at the waiting area, looking somewhat calm but they weren't talking to one another. Just as I was about to leave, 3 were crying badly and 1 walked away, calming himself down perhaps. Judging by the age of the family member, it seemed like they were "prepared".

I have come to realize that no matter how prepared one is for the death of a loved one, at the face of the truth, it's still painful.

Today's nearly the end of the 3rd week of dad in the hospital. For the first 2 weeks, doctors were preparing us for the worst that may happen to dad. And so, I was doing that - Preparing my heart.

Last Thursday, mum called me sounding anxious and told me to return back to hospital immediately. The doctor has called her and told her that we need to return for some important decision. I hurried back in a cab. The first half of the ride were to do the necessary - call my client & informed my boss. When all are settled, reality started to hit in on me. "What was this important decision?", "How serious was dad?", "I just saw him only an hour ago, did something happen?". As thoughts were running through, I started sobbing.

That was when I know that no matter how prepared one can be of losing your loved one, when truth hits you in the face, it literally hit.

Back to my dad. He was transferred to ICU due to the high level of toxic in his body and was transferred back to the general ward 4 days later. He's now finally stable and queuing behind the start line of the recovery race.

Praying that he'll be less stubborn and more receptive to treatment & advices. Praying that his emotions will be regular.

Reflections

Among the thousand over photos combined between Nelson and myself, I love this photo best!! Hahaha!!


The trip up to Malacca has been the most brainless one for me. Much planning has been done by Nelson & his baby Wanping. Geo and myself simply followed wherever they go (with the exception of the 2nd day afternoon).

I have also taken the 3 days away from Singapore to do my reflection of 2008 and some planning for 2009.

2008 has been pretty eventful (in my opinion). Let's see:

Work life

• I stayed on to do Residential Work but with a different capacity. Taking on the new role took much courage, knowing that there will be much changes in my life.
  
• To be part of the pioneering team of the new structure at work.
• Am clear that my heart is for Care & Protection work for children.
  

Relationship life

• I entered a new relationship with you-know-who. Hahaha!!! After 3 good years of friendship, Geo and I finally decided to take a step further.
• Anchored friendships deeper.
  

Family life

• Making sure that I do my best to spend more time at home. To the best that I can, I try to spend more time with my parents, especially my dad. (I am not the most patient daughter though)

Life with God

• Being able to know how my life is so closely entangled with my relationship with God. When I stop praying, I know I will grow distant from God and my temper and mood will just go downhill.
  
• Seeing miracles happening as I prayed and fasted.

For 2009 (in general):

• To continue to pray and keep my relationship with God close to my heart;
• To learn how to build deeper relationships with adults and children;
  
• At work, to be my best and to improve in my leadership skills;
  
• To prepare myself for marriage prep course;
• To exercise at least 2 times a week (I have already failed for the first 3 weeks of the year);

Gone is 2008. Time and tide waits for no man. Indeed, the one thing that one cannot retrieve is Time. So after reflection, it's time to move on and be a better person!

"People would forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will not forget how you made them feel."

Fears

I attended a court family conference today. It was interesting. After a month long of preparation, I almost had cold feet yesterday. I would be very honest here. I was half wishing that I would be sick enough to warrant me a MC.

Let me share with you my 1001 fears. (1) I was fearful that I would get cold feet right slap in the middle of the conference when all the high ranking people start arguing. There was the judge, a director from a certain organization and Dr O the facilitator. And guess what, I am the only one representing my Home and the family I am advocating for! I told my boss that I am not up to it. How can a small fry fight so many people? (2) With the first fear, I was fearful that I would let my child down. I was fearful that I would indirectly ruin his life.

Ok, not 10000001 fears. Just 2 was enough to kill my brain cells. My past few months were a tense one. All I had in my mind was that I cannot let the family and child down. So I worked very hard in preparing for this case. Whilst working one night on this case about 2 months back, my boss called me and I broke down and cried. I could not help it because I feel that we are fighting only because that organization can't stand our guts! They talk so much about making decisions in the best interest of the child yet they have barely had contact with the child. I don't get it. I really don't get it. I don't understand totally.

So 2 months later, today, is the family conference. Part of me is fearful of the outcome. The other part of me is fearful of the battle that is to come.

Yesterday I prayed and God spoke to me through the lives of the many biblical characters. God always use the weak to fight. I was reminded of David who fought Goliath. Who won? David. A small fry can also fight. I recalled how the Lord comforts Joshua "Be strong and courageous.....". I was encouraged and I went to sleep peacefully.

I woke up this morning, tired still but very much awake and very much wanting to "fight". Well, it was indeed a fight. Inside the conference room was a drama. Really a drama. Today, I witnessed first hand how dirty a person could get.

On the overall, I was glad, really glad, that I put my faith in God and I did not chicken out. I give thanks to God that throughout, instead of being nervous and lost for words, I was calm and collected. Instead of being anxious, I remained cool. The more I think I cannot do it, the more I have to just step out in faith. The more I have to just do it. After all the preparation, what have I to lose right? Moreover, if God is for me, who can be against me?

Nights!

Prayer does work!

I just realized that this would be my first entry for the new year.

Thank you all for journeying with me in 2008. It has indeed been a fantastic year. Continue this wonderful race with me this year. I am sure 2009 will be a great year. Though I do not know what is in store for me but I know it is definitely good stuff. God only give good gifts.

I just return home from a hospital visit to my dad. Cut long story short, he had internal bleeding so he is now under observation. His profuse bleeding has stopped but is still bleeding slightly. If he continues to bleed tomorrow, he might have to go through an operation. Due to age, not wise to do that.

Well, best thing to do now is to keep him cheerful. My CG came just now and they really made him laughed (something that I can't do). Yesterday 2 good friends & Geo went and entertained him also. I also helped him look forward to discharging by reminding him that CNY is round the corner. Reunion dinner is something very important to him.

I realized one good thing about being part of a church - I will never be alone. All I did was to inform a few people (only 4 cause my phone was running out of battery). The next thing I knew, many knew and asked how they can offer their help/prayers. I thank God for friends around me! And oh! Doc yesterday said (in his own words) that dad was bleeding so badly that his blood pressure went downhill. However, miraculously, his profuse bleeding stopped and doc does not know what stopped the bleeding. I choose to believe that God works miracles!