Expectations

My conversation with boss:

When you go to McDonald's, you will expect burgers.
When you go to KFC, you will expect chicken.
When you work in a residential setting, you will expect acting-out kids.
So what do you expect when you are in a church???? Sinners!!!

I remember my pastor in church always say that the church is actually really perfect - TILL I came. Hahaha!!!

Thoughts thoughts thoughts

Social Service.

What exactly is a social service?
In my opinion, a social service is where we serve the society.

What then exactly is serving?
To serve is to make sure your master is pleased. There are 3 arenas to my little life. My family, my work and my life. In my family, I serve my parents. At work, I serve my kids. With my life, I serve God. In all areas, I seek to please the one above me, I seek to ensure that they are taken care of holistically.

Serving does bring about inner joy into one's life. Serving is about giving and as we all know, as we give, we receive. Bible has stated clearly too that it's more blessed to give than to receive. As I serve my kids, my parents and my God, I am also clear to know that the things that I receive are intrinsic. Positive emotions that money can't buy.

That said, serving also has its frustrations because it always require one to give and who doesn't know that giving is tough, raise hands! Sometimes, give EVEN when you don't feel like it. Give EVEN when it means to give up personal space. Give even when it means your blood is already boiling.

But hey! The journey is tough, the process is long but we will get there!

God, more of you please. Help me to learn how to wash the feet of others.

Thorn in my flesh

A thorn in the flesh

Meaning
A persistent difficulty or annoyance.

Origin
From the Bible, 2 Corinthians 12:7
"And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure."

I've got a splinter on my index finger today. Who had a splinter before would know that with a little wooden splinter in our flesh can cause pain. Even though I had the 2mm long splinter taken out 3 hours ago, my index finger still hurts.

As I was driving back, I thought of the phrase "Thorn in the flesh" and I was brought to the bible of what Paul said in 2 Corinthians 12:7-10. The verse that stood out is verse 9 where Paul declared that God's grace is sufficient for him and it's only when he is weak, God's power stands out!

I began to wonder - How Jesus felt when the nails drove through him?

Ouch!

Fort Canning Park and East Coast Park

BUTS - Ballet Under The Stars

I like the acronym - BUTS. I wonder how nice it will be if it's BUTTS - Ballet Under The Twinkling Stars. Unfortunately, there weren't any stars last night. In fact, I was rather worried that the rain will carry on till the evening.

Thank God rain stopped! I simply like the idea of having to watch something outdoor. I brought along my favourite Nivea beach ball! If you are wondering what's it for, well, it's to hug! I had nearly wanted to bring cheese, crackers & wine but decided against it since I didn't have much time to prepare.

Anyhow, Geo & myself still enjoyed nonetheless! Music & Dance, best mix! There were a few dances which I truly enjoyed, watching it mouth gapped open.

After Jieyi & Thomas' wedding today, I decided that I need more open air and exercise so I went cycling. This time, I managed to cycle a little more towards Changi Beach via the National Parks Connectors. Cycled till my butt ache now.

Hmm.... Wondering if I should bring my bicycle to my workplace. *think think think*

Reflection & Renewal

For the first time in Beyond, we are doing 'Appraisal'. However, unlike a profitable organisation, we do not make profits and thus, this 'appraisal' is really not an appraisal. This will definitely not lead us to getting better performance bonus.

I love its heading - Reflection & Renewal of Commitment.

Makes me wonder... I do have lots of areas to be improved upon. Not that I am humble but I do not know what are the areas of my accomplishments! I think I will really need to sit on it till a chick can be hatched.

Is life fair?

Since I joined Beyond, I have always looked up to Yet, my colleague, for his gungho-ness, his humble nature and his genuine heart for the youths. I knew years ago that he is into music but never know the extend of it. Last week, got to know that he will be finally launching his first CD Single. I am quite impressed by his voice.

Went to his blog & was captivated by this statement he made to a youth on the subject of Life's Fairness - "We are the results of who we were. We will be the results of who we are."

Recently, I have been asked by my youth. Is life fair? What did I do to deserve my parents' treatment? Why did they treat me this way? They don't want me then why have me?

I have no answers to all these questions too but in reply, I said "I really don't know. However, you hold the power to make the choice and change your life cause no one can make it for you."

All lies in that ONE decision we make.

Conversation with two 12-year old kids

*Over lunch*

Kid 1: Sandra, how long you think my mother will be in the operating theatre?

Me: I really don't know but I have heard that it takes as long as 16 hours to give birth.

Kid 1: Ya ya ya ya... My mother took about that long time to give birth to me.

Colleague: Ah... Then you must appreciate your mother you know? It's not easy! When I gave birth to my 2 boys, I had such a hard time.

Kid 1: Really? What happened?

Colleague: It's very very very very painful. *turns to me* Do you have monthly cramps? If you have, giving birth will be tough I heard.

Me: *continues eating* Ah huh... Never mind. I pray hard.

Kid 2: Sandra, so how ah? Are you going to get married one day?

Kid 1: Ya ya ya Sandra, are you going to get married? Are you going to invite me? When you give birth, can I bring my baby siblings to play with yours? Will you bring your baby here to KU Home?

Me: Hey hey hey! By the time I give birth, you SHOULD be out of KU Home and back to your family leh!

Kid 1 & 2: Ah!!! So you are going to get married la! Invite me ok???

Colleague: Eh Sandra, you got boyfriend ah?

Me: Er.... Actually, ya.

Colleague: Hey! You got time to meet boyfriend?

Kid 1 & 2: *Smiled sheepishly*

*End of Conversation*

One of the best conversation I had with these 2 kids.

My 2nd Language

When Ps Jeff spoke of his difficulties preaching in our Mandarin service, I laughed at his jokes & thought nothing much about it - Until today. I guess sometimes in life, we do have to go through 'pain' to know what pain is.

I am going to convene my very first FGC tomorrow. It's really not a difficult one to conduct as the natural family group is really small. The difficulty comes when I realized that I am going to convene it in Mandarin! Man!!!! All of a sudden, my Chinese dictionary I used in my Secondary School seemed all so important.

Last night, my mother stepped into my room and asked "What are you mulling over?" I was staring at my PC trying to comprehend what was written & how it can be translated into Mandarin. Thankfully, I got a colleague who's fantastic in Mandarin & walah! I got the exact link to what I need!

Now I am just getting my "script" ready & whatever charts needed to help me. Oh God... Please give me a good night rest and get my heart ready for what is to come!

Beautiful Saviour

Beautiful Saviour
Planet Shakers

Jesus, Beautiful Saviour,
God of all Majesty,
Risen king,
Lamb of God,
Holy and righteous,
Blessed redeemer,
Bright morning star

All the heavens shout your praise,
All creation bow to worship You

How wonderful, how beautiful,
Name above every name, exalted high
How wonderful, how beautiful,
Jesus your name, name above every name, Jesus

I will sing forever, Jesus I love you, Jesus I love you

More photos from MILKRun 08

My 'Mummy' at work

Me at Residential Service, he at Infant & Early Childhood Service

On my right is my 'Partner', on my left is my 'Mummy'

My 'Prayer Warrior' at work. Hmm.. Hasn't met in a long while!

The old Family Service gang. *sigh*... Mie's not around!

Chicken Soup for myself

Life was great! In fact, life IS great!

As of a few weeks ago, I purposefully & conscientiously make sure that every week, I do something for myself. Some Chicken Soup for Sandra's soul.

Motivation?

I was on the bus thinking just how to get people motivated into doing great work for children. As it is, I feel that the work in a residential setting seemed to be destroying our lives more than building it.

It just suddenly hit me that an adult is actually *ahem* an overgrown child. A child in an adult's body.

Children mimic what we do. We get frustrated when children start to compare amongst themselves. Don't we do that? We get a headache when the children complains that things are against them, not fair. Don't we subtly complain about unfairness?

Therefore, if we put in fantastic work now, we reap our rewards in the long run, tasting the fruit of goodness. The work is really tough but it's worth it because ultimately, we stand to gain.

Smile!

*smile* Smile all the time because you never know who's snapping. Thanks to whoever to snapped this. I love my messy look. Hahaha!!!

Focus & Perseverance

I came to full understanding how easy is it for one to lose focus of a goal. The word 'Focus' comes alongside with the word 'Perseverance'. You lose one, you lose the other and soon, you will lose the entire meaning of what you are aiming towards.

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us" - Hebrews 12:1

I do learn the importance of being self reflective and being humble to allow God to change me. Better to obey than to sacrifice.

Adult's Responsibility

Yesterday, I went to pick a child up who ran away from our care since Monday (imagine my sleepless nights). When I brought the child back to my Home, my colleague and I were trying to explain to the child that we have to do what we did. We have to call in the police, we have to bring whoever who run away back, we have to do the usual paper work. Simply because that's what we do as adults. Children has their own responsibilities. Adults have their own set of responsibilities.

I was just thinking about the term responsibility and I come to full realization the impact of what responsibility is. When I was young, my parents had to support my sister and I. Now that we are older & they have retired, it's my sister's & my turn to support them.

With the rising inflation, I can't help it but to be more than thrifty ("niao" as my friend always teased me). I really can't help it also but to feel upset each time I receive a bill or payment. And it's in times like these, I can fathom 10% of how my clients feel when they receive a red letter or bill payment.

The wonders of technology

This can't be getting any better! Sermons can now heard online on Hope Church's website! Really a blessing for me as I do have tendency to work on Sundays.

I'm really getting excited by the minutes as I count down to Friday 7:15pm! Helping a couple friend to bring their 2 girls to this concert. I am not excited because I get to watch a performance for free but I do really feel honored that my friends entrust their daughters to me. Heehee...

Pressing!

Haaa!!! Best strip showing how exasperating adults can get from kids.

The thing about human relationship is that we really never know what we are going to get, especially with children. I haven't been doing any quality entry lately which makes me wonder if I have been doing anything of quality in life.

Recently, I wake up every morning wondering "What today brings?". Good thing about everything is that I do not work alone. When a plan fail, we get back as a team and churn out a new plan. New plan fail, we get back together again and come up with another plan. Trials and errors and lately, I feel that I am literally working against time. Time is just not in favor for me and it's so frustrating, so exasperating, so hair-pulling.

At this moment, I am vaguely remembering my first email from my boss when I first joined the Residential Services. For children in RS, we cannot expect miracles. If we have a child who runs away 10 times in a month and in another month, it happens 9 times, it's already worth commending and affirming! (In a positive light, I could console myself that I worry 1 time less.)

Mummy, when young, often remind me that when the going gets tough, the tough gets going. I am remembering that, trusting God, believing in the work process, pressing towards the goal and gritting my teeth through.

3rd MILKRun

MILKRun is over - yet again. My 3rd MILKRun and I feel as though I have been in Beyond for ages.

Staff have to arrive early to prepare for the 4-hr event and I caught sight of this man who was walking along the metal railings of the tentage from one end to another. As I stared at him, I thought "Wah... such flimsy railing can hold a person's weight?" and I just thought of the word Faith.

God said.

'And God said, "Let there be an expanse between the waters to separate water from water." So God made the expanse and separated the water under the expanse from the water above it. And it was so. God called the expanse "sky" And there was evening, and there was morning - the second day.'
- Genesis 1:6-8

Sure

Definition of sure: unfailing; never disappointing expectations

For as sure as the sun rises every morning, the sun will set every evening.

God is faithful - even to the faithless.