There is nothing I can do about it...

A few weeks ago, I encouraged my friend with a sms ending with "God loves you!". In reply, she said with an added emphasis "God loves you and there is nothing you can do about it!"

Now, isn't that true? God loves me & there is really NOTHING I can do about it. Since there is nothing I can do about it, I should just make sure that I saturate in His grace and mercy daily.

Yesterday is past. Tomorrow's yet to announce its arrival.
And Today is indeed the day that the Lord has made!

All in a Day's Work

This entry is going to be a long entry. Mainly because I am VERY exhausted. However, I know that if I sleep now (afternoon), I will not be able to sleep well in the night. So I am trying to do things.

Over the past 2 days, I have never had such packed schedules before.

1) I started my day yesterday at 9am attending a Bully-Free Forum. Quite self-explanatory. Bully-Free. In fact, schools in Singapore has just celebrated a Bully Free week 23 - 26 July. My colleague and myself sat through "teachings" of the different types of bullying and a series of consequences of how bullying can affect the victims. Soon, Dr Ken Rigby asked us to share our experience - whether we were a victim or a bully.

Being soft spoken, I was an easy target to be a victim. I was bullied in Primary school. I thought life would be better as I progress upwards. I was terribly wrong. The bullying in Secondary school just got worse though it was different people who bullied me. Adolescents & young children are by and large different. Adolescents work on humiliating & rejecting you. The one way to break out of it was when I found a group of friends. At the same time, I also started going to a church. I seriously believed that having friends & a faith helped nullify that humiliation & rejection. Although, I must say still that bullying really does have long term effects. For me, it affected my confidence for the longest time I know. However, it proved no harm to me now.

Now, what is bullying?

"Bullying is when one or more people do or say things on purpose to hurt someone. It usually happens more than once. It is a very unkind way of treating others. Bullying can cause a lot of harm! Bullying is a situation where a powerful bully intentionally harms a vulnerable and isolated victim through repeated hurtful behaviours that can result in damaging consequences.".

How is bullying executed?

Verbal: Name calling, etc.
Physical: Hitting, Extorting, Destroying, etc.
Relational: Rumors, Befriending, Isolation, etc.

Effects & Consequences?

Many may felt that victims are the one who got the strongest negative effect & consequences. However, on a personal & professional note, I beg to differ & this can be found here.

Now as a worker for the society, when I "deal" with youths & children, I look out very much for bullying. For one, I hate the action yet, I feel a lot for the bully. I asked myself "What has caused the bully to be a bully?", "Is the bully going through something that he/she can't deal with in her own life thus he/she bully?". On the other hand, my heart pains for the victim for I, of all people, knows how it feels. I try. I try my best to stand in the gap. I try my best to restore, if I can. For I believe that both parties are victims in their own context.

2) Forum ended at 12:45pm & I quickly made a dash for my dear ex-shepherd's (Ginny) wedding.

Ginny was my first shepherd when I returned to Singapore. She is one person who has changed the most in a short span of 3 years. From a girl, she turned into a refined lady. She is also one of the few who has impacted my life, helping my transit to be a smooth one when I returned from Brisbane. Also one who introduced the term "Social Work" to me. When I returned back from Brisbane, I was rather lost not knowing what to do. I wanted a job that can work directly with children and youths. So I thought the ONLY (my knowledge was THAT limited) job was to be a teacher (but I failed in the interview).

Her wedding was a beautiful one. Beautiful because I have never ever attended a wedding where the thanksgiving speech was so genuine & heartfelt (& long). I lost track of the times when the word "Thank" was used. The couple practically thanked everybody. One could tell that the list was properly thought of. To me, this is just so Ginny. Thoughtful & humble.

Though I was rather in a hurry to leave, I was so very tempted to stay till the end. I was glad I stayed till at least the thanksgiving speech was over.

3) I made the final dash home to change out, bathe & pack for my overnight stay at KU Home.

I armed myself with a cartoon DVD & made my way there. When I arrived, I was welcomed by the kids. Had a great dinner with them & woohoo!!! I rewarded them with CARS. If you noticed, I used the word "Armed". Honestly, I am scared out of my skin by the term "overnight stay" for I am not prepared for the role of a houseparent. I am not sure what are the house rules. I am not sure how really the kids are like. I literally armed myself. Throughout the journey, I simply pray for nothing but wisdom.

I learned a thing or two about young children (& myself) last night:

1. They love attention.
2. They love treats (of any sort).
   
3. They love to be read to before bed time (Sample size very small).
   
4. They need structure. When a "program" in their daily life is taken out, they feel lost.
5. It's really easy to fall into the trap of playing favoritism, especially when bullying takes place.
6. Kids will be the sweetest when they want something from you! HAHAHA!!!
7. They protect (very strongly) the things that they love.
   

As I tried to lull myself to sleep last night, I prayed & asked God to help me. Help me to help these kids & their families.

4) Next day, due to some miscommunication, the next person who came to relief my duty arrived late. Thus, I was late for church. By the time I stepped into church was 10:30am. Ps Jeff & the whole worship team was up on stage already. The only question in my mind was "What segment of the service is this?? P&W? Did they have had a play/drama before this? Sermon over so fast?" For those not in my church, service USUALLY ends at 11:00 - 11:15am!! So, can you imagine how fast those questions were running through my head?

Although I attended not even 5mins of the session, I could tell by the prayer Ps Jeff led was about Judging. i.e. for us NOT to judge others. I responded to the altar call.

Just about 1/2 hour ago before I left KU Home, I was faced with bullying. Like I said, it is really easy to play favoritism, very easy to pass judgment on one kid over the other. I was stuck really & I know, in my mind, that I have passed a judgment - whether the bullying was mild or severe.

No Superhero

Excitement seemed to fill my heart as I slowly weaned off my current job portfolio and to take on a new area of work - Residential.

It's said that "A child's relationship to his or her parents determines his or her inner world and the earlier this is disturbed or traumatized then the greater will be the consequent pathology. Here we are considering such fundamental areas as the establishment of the attachment and basic trust, and the growth of ego-integration." said Robin Balbernie.

I believe the road ahead is really going to be exciting & challenging.

I was asked "Do you feel like you are taking on a protector role? Like a superhero role?" when you take on this position? After giving it a thought, I would say "Yes... It's a rather protective role. I try to protect the children from future harm. To try to do preventive or even remedial work with them. However, I do not see myself as a "superhero" cause I am not. I am just that worker who happened to be there at this point of time to do this type of work. Any other worker will be there. Just that, at this time, it's me. No superhero.

Last night was probably my very first real residential work with another experienced worker. I was in awe of her. After the session, I felt waves of different feelings just pass me through. I tried sleeping. I was glad that when I finally got to sleep, it was a good sleep. When I awoke the next day, it was a brand new day. I woke up remembering to give thanks to God for a yet another beautiful day!!!

New work, new territory, new area of learning

Children

Robin Sharma, Author and Leadership Coach
"You only have a small window of opportunity to be a developer and a champion of your children. Before you know it they’ll be gone."

Children. The only term that never fail to make me want to embrace & protect.

YAY!!!

Call me an "Oldie", call me anything but I was really quite excited having found Doris Day Fan Website. Also only to find out that this lady is the founder and president of Doris Day Animal Foundation. Hahaha! We have one common point! We love animals... Hmm.. actually, no.. I just love dogs. *smile*

I am 30 this year and this lady is about 80ish already! However, I grew up watching a few of her shows and listening to her songs. I was even more excited when sister told me that her friend in US will be getting a DVD that I was looking for - for a pretty long time.

Massaging day

I had one of the best massage in 1999 at Langkawi where by ex-colleague did a Thai massage on me. It was one of the best & most remembered one. Next would be today's experience.

Before I get to today's experience, let's do a preview.

Today, I popped by Satine to check out my sister's ROM dress. Of which, I was absolutely glad I popped by! I kinda made sure she got out of that dress which I felt "cannot-exactly-make-it". Mum & colleagues had the exact same sentiments. Good news is she found a very nice dress! Next would be what accessories to go with it. Not forgetting, the groom has to find matching attire as well. *phew* This is part I. Part II will be next year.

After that, my future bro-in-law (BIL) fetched me & sis to Paragon Metro so that I could change the color of the dress I bought my mummy. Ah huh! That was my first massage of the day - the Osim U-PAPA!! I luuuurve the drumming effect! Left me totally bowled over by it. I looked up & saw the astonishing price! $368. *tsk tsk tsk*

Next, I met a friend at Chinatown - People's Park Complex - for foot reflexology. I was freaking out actually. I hate people touching my foot. Especially strangers. However, I thought, let's just give it a try. Hey! I actually found that I loved it! *sigh*... See... I actually told my friend initially that I do not want to go because I scared I loved it so much that I could actually get addicted to it! Hahaha!!!

All right... Am going to enjoy the Orchestra on Arts Central.

Appreciate

Today, I learned to appreciate things in its own context.

ONE
Now... I was taught from young that doctor saves lives. When one talk about "Life", I think of relationships. Thus, I always felt that to be a doctor needs lots of empathy, lots of passion & energy.

I had about 3 years of experience working with doctors. When I started, I had loads of admiration for doctors. Soon, I found that admiration & adoration just diminished. I often find them lack of emotions, the "get-it-done-and-over-with" feeling, the "I-just-want-to-get-by-the-day" impression. Often times, I wondered "Why be a doctor in the first place?"

Recommended by my friend, I went to ieatishootipost blog only to find out "Oh! This guy not only eat & shoot. He treats too!". I went into his medical Blog & was mesmerized by his passion & love for patients. His clinic's motto hit me straight to the heart - Treating patients not diseases. One could tell just from his introduction page that he has really put himself in the shoes of the young, adults & elderly patients.

After going through his blog, it's hard not to feel that "there is HOPE!", "Not all doctors are the same...". I began to question why did my impression of doctors got so low. I decided that perhaps, I had not tried understanding the doctors at that point of time.

1) First experience was in the Emergency Department
Before: I often felt that the doctors I was under was 'cold' & 'unfeeling'.
After reflecting: That is one crisis-managing department. Doctors there are all trained to focus on the trauma presented to them. No time to "build relationship" with patients. I believe that it may also be the place that most patients have lost their lives. With this, I reckoned that doctors, along the way, have to find a way to cope.

2) Next, I worked in a polyclinic
Before: Doctors are grouchy & unfeeling.
After reflecting: Who would agree with me that the only headache that polyclinics give us is the long waiting time? When I started working in the polyclinic, I found my temper to get shorter and shorter. I have never once received a compliment about the clinic. All I got was complains. Now, tell me, why can't doctors be grouchy?

Well, as for unfeeling... I started to wonder. How much feelings can they really give you know? They do see at least 70 patients a day!!

TWO
I ain't a mother to any child. However, I adore children! I will grab any opportunity to carry them, play with them, have fun with them. Other than play, there was only ONE time that I fed a pair of twins their dinner. That was the closest I get to feed them.

From Babyblues comics to friends' testimony, I know that feeding time is the messiest time!!! I would often advise my clients who are homemakers to "Take it easy", "Be more patient" or "Hey... they are really only kids."

Today, I was cleaning the mess my dad made over his meals. No doubt, times when I am not in a fantastic mood, I can get impatient. Really impatient. As I was cleaning, I thought to myself "It's one thing to tell people to be patient. It's another to be really patient."

Today, I learn to appreciate things in their context.

Acronyms

9 years ago, CSM was Chartered Semiconductor Manufacturing for me.

9 years later, today, CSM is Communication, Social Reinforcement, Modeling; the 3 elements of a Helping Relationship.

3 years ago was a struggle when I first started my course in Social Work. To begin, I do not think that my English is strong. When I read the textbooks, I had to have my Oxford dictionary beside me. (Sometimes, it's beside my bed!) Secondly, there were so many alien terms!!!!!!!! *sigh*... Nobody talk about Paradigm Shift in the Engineering world you know?

The different lingo for different profession. Each time we move from one company to another or one job scope to another, we learn new lingo. Honestly, it's always tough for me. As much as I welcome change once in a while in my life, I do struggle with changes too.

One year bash!

Kids' parties are often filled with Kids. Such parties are also a "headache" to me mainly because I have to scheme my way to get my hands on those kids!!!! When there are kids, they just wanna have fun & it's hard to carry them. I did not managed to carry my godsons today. The older was busy playing. The younger one was too shy. I only managed to take photos when grandma & mummy carried him. *sigh*... Actually, I doubt they even remember me... :)

It was nice meeting up with Pearly's family once in a while. Da-gu & Da-gu-zhang asked me why was it that their children have all grown up & me being their tutor years ago have not seemed to age one bit. I joked saying I took youth-eternity pills. Hahaha... I must REALLY thank God for keeping me slim & looking young at all times. (Though I can never understand why there are some people who actually thought I am a decade younger than my actual age!!!)

Even better, had a fruitful time catching up with old friends like Xav & Aaron. Best, Carol & Ivan did made it to the party. Carol finally got to meet Matt & John. Hahaha!!! Yes.. After 3 years, she finally met Matt.

After the party, I was reflecting that the job that of a parent is really not easy. To love, to discipline, to teach, to guide, to direct, to hold on, to let go, to give up for kids, to be there for important occasions, etc... As I look at the kids, I thought "How blessed they are to have such love.."...

Happy birthday godsonny... Always remember that you are exquisitely & uniquely created by God. Always loved by daddy & mummy & everybody around you. Blessed indeed you are.

Sharon's 2nd daughter

Three Zero

Is 30 old? My friend yesterday told me that I have totally deceived and convinced myself that 30 is really still young. She was trying to convince me that 30 is really quite old already. When I reach 30, soon it will be 35 then 40 then you know la...

Increasingly, I am receiving matchmaking offers. At least, this week, I had 4 already. I was told "You must be too picky?", "Your company don't have anyone meh?", "Church not even one?", "How about this? How about that?", "Your younger sister is getting married, are you not anxious?".

I am totally prepared to be single but I am not convicted that I will be single for life. I do still want to marry & have kids. So, seriously, I am in no hurry at all. Yes.. Biological clock is ticking but so? Younger sister is getting married but so? If I am too picky, why not? I have every right to think thoroughly & choose right? For life leh... *smile* Hahahahahaha!!!!

So, is 30 really old? I really don't think so. I am just beginning to enjoy what life can offer....!

Good night...

I was very touched (to tears) when my superior sms-ed me telling me that she noticed my eye bags and that I looked tired. Wondering if I am ok. Told me that if I need time off, let her know. My eyes turned red on the spot when I saw the sms. It really does help having an understanding superior.

Roller Coaster morning

Just within 40 minutes, I received 2 encouragements on this dull, got-up-from-wrong-side-of-the-bed and grouchy morning.

"....that just cause He doesn't answer doesn't mean that He don't care. Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers."

&

Heehee.... and hee.... I can't help giggling & giving thanks... God really provides. My friend's boyfriend has a pet grooming cert. Heeheeeeeee.... My dogs may be able to have a free hair cut!! Woohoooooooooo!!!! "may be able" cause location & tools has to be finalized.

Somewhere over the rainbow

I am falling in love with You Tube. With recommendations from sister.

Never stop believing!

Got this off Jan's blog, a part of Sunday's sermon. When I read it, I had goose bumps! A fantastic story to encourage us.

Roger Simms, hitchhiking his way home, would never forget the date--May 7. His heavy suitcase made Roger tired. He was anxious to take off his army uniform once and for all. Flashing the hitchhiking sign to the oncoming car, he lost hope when he saw it was a black, sleek, new Cadillac. To his surprise the car stopped. The passenger door opened. He ran toward the car, tossed his suitcase in the back, and thanked the handsome, well-dressed man as he slid into the front seat. "Going home for keeps?" "Sure am," Roger responded. "Well, you're in luck if you're going to Chicago ." "Not quite that far. Do you live in Chicago ?" "I have a business there. My name is Hanover ." After talking about many things, Roger, a Christian, felt a compulsion to witness to this fifty-ish, apparently successful businessman about Christ. But he kept putting it off, till he realized he was just thirty minutes from his home. It was now or never. So, Roger cleared his throat, "Mr. Hanover , I would like to talk to you about something very important." He then proceeded to explain the way of salvation, ultimately asking Mr. Hanover if he would like to receive Christ as his Savior. To Roger's astonishment the Cadillac pulled over to the side of the road. Roger thought he was going to be ejected from the car. But the businessman bowed his head and received Christ, then thanked Roger. "This is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me."

Five years went by, Roger married, had a two-year-old boy, and a business of his own. Packing his suitcase for a business trip to Chicago , he found the small, white business card Hanover had given him five years before. In Chicago he looked up Hanover Enterprises. A receptionist told him it was impossible to see Mr. Hanover , but he could see Mrs. Hanover . A little confused as to what was going on, he was ushered into a lovely office and found himself facing a keen-eyed woman in her fifties. She extended her hand. "You knew my husband?" Roger told how her husband had given him a ride when hitchhiking home after the war. "Can you tell me when that was?" "It was May 7, five years ago, the day I was discharged from the army." "Anything special about that day?" Roger hesitated. Should he mention giving his witness? Since he had come so far, he might as well take the plunge. "Mrs. Hanover , I explained the gospel. He pulled over to the side of the road and wept against the steering wheel. He gave his life to Christ that day." Explosive sobs shook her body. Getting a grip on herself, she sobbed, "I had prayed for my husband's salvation for years. I believed God would save him." "And," said Roger, "Where is your husband, Mrs. Hanover?" "He's dead," she wept, struggling with words. "He was in a a car crash after he let you out of the car. He never got home. You see--I thought God had not kept His promise." Sobbing uncontrollably, she added, "I stopped living for God five years ago because I thought He had not kept His word!"

Staying Alive

I switched off the TV last night then my doggie jumped up my bed. His paw hit Channel 8 and it brought me to RTM 1. So happened, the show Enough starring Jennifer Lopez started.

I do not know what triggered me to keep it on initially but as it goes along, no matter how tired I was, I finished the whole show.

It was quite a classic show of a wife batterer. J Lo married this man whom she thought is gentle & loving. After her birth, she found that he was having affairs. Confronted him & she got her first bash right across her cheek. The bashing went on & no report was made. Mother does not want to taint the innocent mind of her little girl. & her belief system tells that that the husband who beats her is after all their girl's father. 2 reasons and no PPO (Personal Protection Order) was raised.

Finally, she planned an escape with the help of her friends. Her escape was successful ONLY after getting a few bones fractured. It became a "tour" for mother & daughter moving from one city to another. Finally, she took matters into her own hands & killed her husband on the pretext of manslaughter in the name of self-defense. That was when she got her freedom. [I am not agreeing with murder here. Don't get me wrong.]

Oh yeah..... it's just a show really. Maybe if I had watched this show 4 years ago when it was first out, I would probably think that it's just a show. Today, I have a total different opinion.

I just completed a 3-day Family Violence Intermediate course 2 weeks ago and today's the practicum. In discussion, we spoke about how real our own Belief Systems can bring us down. I was just thinking - If J.Lo, being a battered wife, has put aside her belief system & gone & made a police report, would things have changed? Not like I am hoping for a miracle like a changed husband but perhaps the dynamics of the whole situation when changed will helped? The saddest thing about being beaten is really not about the physical pain. The saddest thing is that the victim is unable to stand up for herself due to certain beliefs like "I deserve it", "The children needs a father.", etc. The emotional pain is even more unbearable than any physical pain.





Lyrics here.

Extravagant Dining

Much was said about how good the steak are at Shashlik Restaurant. A friend even said that they will turn away customers if they are busy with no qualms.

I tried it yesterday finally. I must say that the steak is really quite good. I had medium-well (cause I hate the trickling sight of blood) & the steak was, unlike other places, soft & tender. It taste good too. The ONLY sad thing is that the portion is SO small. *sigh*.. I came home hungry. Steak lovers, try it for a No. 56, Steak a la Russe $25++.

It was extravagant dining for me yesterday for a very special & reason. We celebrated Chris' birthday. However, it seemed like we celebrated his farewell more than his birthday. Hahaha!!

Photos of past 5 years from way back in Brisbane to the days in Singapore were brought along to reminisce. Personally, I really do not have many photos because I really do not know Chris in Brisbane. I only know that this is one guy whom everyone called chef & that's all. Our friendship grew really only in Singapore.

A brother who serves in his own church but joins us for fellowship during CG. He often go beyond his comfort zone & that extra mile to do something for us. Remember once, he took leave just to cook for CG. *heart melts* When a common friend of ours had her leg broken (hairline crack), he fetched her (and I hitch a ride) every Sunday just to get her to church.

That's just one or two examples. If I wanna list them all, it will take till night fall. For now, 2 examples will be more than sufficient to "market" this wonderful brother & irreplaceable friend.

Stole

I saw this at Pearly's blog & I can't help "stealing" it. My godson is an absolute darling.

Miracle workers????

In the serial shown over Ch 8 a few weeks back, a question was posed to Joanne Peh who played the role of a social worker. "Ah... I seemed to talk to you easily as compared to others. Why do you think that is so?" Joanne Peh replied "Maybe because I am a social worker."

On a personal note, I feel that such serials seemed to portray that social workers are super-people, miracle workers. Increasing, I seemed to be receiving cases with them telling me "I want to send "so & so" to you. Please help me to change him/her."

I ask myself over and over again "How to change? How to change someone who have perhaps lived a few decades and react well to a stranger?" Does being a social worker makes one just automatically open up? Does being a social worker makes me a nice person to talk to? I very much doubt so. Well, there are definitely skills that we can use to speak to strangers but still, we are no miracle workers.

Today, for the first time in 1.5 years, I got really mad at a client. I was mad with uncertainty, mad with the fact that I cannot do anything, mad with the fact that the client's issue is really not my area of work. *sigh*... *yawn*... I need to get this situation out of my mind. Been stuck to me since 18 hours ago! Argh....

Waiting

Future job that I thought of if I do resign as a social worker.. Hahaha...

Living in a fast-paced country like Singapore, almost everywhere we go are like fire-fighting. Hurry hurry hurry hurry hurry... Even walking is fast. Everything is needed fast. Reports, forms, etc.

No wonder, often times, I find myself impatient waiting on God wondering "Oh dear God, why are you late late late?". Bob Sorge, an author wrote:

1) Waiting is an act of humility
No one likes to wait. Yet, waiting is humbling because it is a posture of dependence upon God.

2) Waiting is an act of faith
We wait on God because we believe that God will come to us. Just like waiting for a bus, we know the bus is bound to arrive. Just a matter of time.

3) Waiting puts us in a receiving posture
We wait for God to give.. We do not take. When we wait, we wait to receive.

Isaiah 40:31 "But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength."

Eee-oooRhhhh

Chanced on this. Amazing. Kinda described how I feel... Work like a Ee-Orh... Tired yet Happy.

Ouch Ouch Ouch!!!

She placed her stethoscope on my gastric area for less than 10 secs and exclaimed "Wow! So noisy! Poor girl... Must be real painful!"

First time in my life, a doctor has to shove a MC to me.

First time in my life, I rejected the MC.

Went home & the pain got worse so I called the clinic & asked for the MC (just in case).

Awhile later, first time in my life bathing & making my way to work.

The pain is still on & off. I pray that by tomorrow, it'll be fully off. Suspect that it's a stress triggered gastric. I don't really skip my meals. In fact, I think I may be the one who eats the most in my office. Hahaaaa!!!

Singing

I can't help but blog the 2nd time.

I LOVE Kit Chan!

Usually, in July, there will be the National Day theme song on TV. I particularly like those sung by Kit Chan. Other than the melody itself, her voice is clear & crisp. Without looking at the lyrics, I am able to hear clearly. Her pronunciation is FANTASTIC!!! This is what I call Singing. [Like I very good like that. Hahaha!!]

A Psalms a day

I decided to venture into reading one psalms a day & I decided to start yesterday.

After getting all the kids to shower & finally to bed, I decided to settle down in the sofa & read my first Psalms. [Oh... I am not married with kids ya? I was doing my first overnight duty yesterday. It was also like my first hands-on experience of a mother.]

I am reminded to be like a tree that is planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers. Psalms 1:4 (NIV)

Just 2 days back, I went out with my colleague to collect stuffs. Along the journey, we talk about our faith in God & why we decided to drop our dreams of earning big bucks and joined a VWO. He shared that God gave him a vision. The vision of a tree that is deeply rooted with a big shade.

When he shared, I recalled this verse from Psalm 1:4. Before, this was the verse that my ex-UL had for our unit. That we will be like a tree that is planted so near the waters so that we can be deeply rooted in His word, be immersed in His presence.

I believe this verse did not come to me by coincidence. Coupled with today's sermon (Depending on God), I humbly surrender to Him once again.

Transformers - More than meets the eye

A few friends could not believe that I actually like to watch Transformers. Since I caught a glimpse of the trailer, I know I will catch this movie.

Amazingly, I thought of God & the life of Jesus during this movie. The tagline goes "No sacrifice, no victory". When Sam (the main lead) was falling off the building, Optimus Prime caught hold of him and said "I will always be here for you." My heart melt. As I am standing at crossroads now, as I am not feeling absolutely perky about my life, I am reminded that through the life of Jesus, I already have the victory and there is no one time that God is not with me.

"Holy holy holy" thoughts aside, I also thought of my best friend while I was watching the show! Hahaha!! Just a few days ago, I was having a chat with her & we shared about our personal financial planning. I wanted to stop her from getting me another birthday gift. Her reply was "San, just that i know u r my best friend n our understanding since sec school days stays. 1 plate of rice, we share. 1 chicken wing also share. 1 soya bean drink also share." 17 years of friendship goes way back to our Sec sch days when we share food. Not cause we are dieting. Only because we love each other to help each other financially. When I am poor, she share her wealth. When she is poor, I share my wealth.

That really warmed my heart. No wonder the saying goes "A few good friends...." It really does take energy to build a solid grounding for a relationship to be this strong. I was sharing with a friend the other night that I had much more energy when I was younger. In order to get my friend to school, every morning, my best friend & I will take effort to travel to his house, literally pull him out of bed, push him to the shower & make sure he goes to school. In school when he dozes off, we will try to help him stay awake. On Sundays, I will do the same. Just that it's to church & not to school. On a personal note, I wonder where those energy & vibes has gone to. Hahaha!!


Talking about friends, this is also another friend whom we celebrated our 15 years of friendship together yesterday over a meal & movie - Transformers. Every year, without fail, he will be my BBQ dried pork AKA "Ba Gua" provider. Yesterday, he shared with me that he is really the very shy type. He will NEVER ask a girl out. I joked with him "No mah... You asked me out now." He said "AIYO!!! Mei (sister) ah!! Please la! We buddy buddy so long already where got shy?!"

A Parent Exasperation

It seemed to be an increasing problem lately.

"I can't deal with my daughter! I can't deal with my son! I have really tried! But they do not even know the basic things like respect. All I like is for them to greet us (parents) when they return. I have to beg them for a greeting. I put my own pride down & compromised but nothing worked."

It's quite sad actually... Sad when parents do not have "executive" placement in adolescents life. Things are easily over-ridden. I have friends telling me that raising kids is like a "gamble". You may bring them up well or they may be very good kids when they were young. As parents, you may really have done your best. Read books, changed for the sake of the kids yet when they reach adolescent, things may just change. Some told me it's like a matter of luck. You "heng" (lucky), your kids don't get influenced. You not "heng", years of good upbringing will be wasted.

For me, I say other than upbringing, God play a huge role too. I do not know who have said this to me before "As parents, you will be praying your whole life for your kid." Not a parent myself but a recipient of answered prayers from God, I do still believe God works miracles. Sometimes, tests & trials are inevitable. Things do happen for God's plan for our life to be fulfilled.

Keep persevering. Fruits will be reaped as a result of hard labor. My deep respect to all mummies & daddies.

Lights OUT!

6:30pm - Reached home.

I came home exceptionally early yesterday. Told her that my HV (Home visit) ended early from AMK. Was just simply tired so I went home. I wanted to go for a run but decided to dine with my sister first instead.

8:30pm - Lights out.

That was my room yesterday. Mum came out of her room & told the dogs "Oh!! Jie Jie lights off already. So boys! Where are you going to sleep tonight?"

Then, mum came to my room and asked "Why you sleep so early?"... "Tired", I replied. She eyed me suspiciously wondering if I am sick. I think she suspects if I cried man cause she eyed me straight in my eye.

Digress... Mum was packing her photos & gave me these extra photos. Just realized that Spanner & Sparkle are REALLY a part of my family. Did I mention what their actual names are? Spanner Lim Li Ling Carol & Sparkle Lim Li Ann Sandra. The Lim Family only contain "professionals". Mummy always joke that Spanner graduated from Dog-ford University. Sparkle on the way... That lazy fellow is taking 10 years to complete his Diploma.


Ok ok... Bathe and get ready to work.

Relationship building

I have been giving this thought about "Building relationships" lately. As I was bathing, I just felt that perhaps, I have lost the ABCs in knowing how to build relationships. Lately, I feel lost & sometimes downcast. Time for another round of self reflection.

The very basis about relationship is God's 2nd commandment. 1st commandment was to love Him with all our heart, soul, mind and strength. Second is this: Love your neighbor as yourself.

Golf

"My dream car is a VW Golf" I typed in my MSN window during a chat with a friend.

"Why are you dreaming of a car when you should be dreaming of your husband!!!" exclaimed my friend.

Hahaha!! I was kinda expecting this reply yet I was still stunned when I receive it for I do not know what reply to give.

To say that I am very happy now, well.. there are times when I do pray for a family of my own. To say that I want to get attached, the thought of me "frightens" me at losing my "freedom".

Anyway, my dream car sped past me yesterday when I was relaxing by the pavement after a whole day of hassle and bustle at MILKRun. Gosh... it is SOOOOoOOooooOOooo beautiful. *salivate*

Blessed day

It was a more-than-perfect weather today!!!!!!

I chatted with Dr Tan, our medic-in-charge, that EVERY year, MILKRun suffers most from bad weather. The entire event stretched from 1pm - 5pm. As staff, we start from 8am. Being under the sun can be quite disastrous, not only to skin but, to health. Heatstroke is not uncommon.

Today's weather was PERFECT!!! To me, I just felt that God has answered my prayers!!!!

Instead of being the driver, I was given another responsibility. Medical Post Jaga. Honestly, the medical post is the BEST place to be in. Cooling fans, ceiling fans, huge space, ice buckets of water. I lovingly call it the Oasis. I became the "envy" of my colleagues who were running here, there and everywhere. However, being medically NOT trained, there is very little I could do when help is required. So I just become the logistics runner for Dr Tan.

The very unfortunate thing though was that I am unable to join my families at our Family Day Tentage. What made me most happy was the the friends whom I asked as volunteers did enjoy themselves. It was a big-time "Phew" for me! I was quite worried that they will be unhappy. For now, I can't wait to view the photos my friend took today!

Anyway, ended the day with a treat for myself. Went to Beach Road for steamboat. I reached home feeling satisfied and VERY smelly. *wink*