Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow

Yesterday

Early morning, sis and me woke up against all tiredness and went swimming to exercise as well as to relax and WOAH!!! I wonder will she ever go with me ever again! It was with ALOT of conviction when she told me "Jiejie, let's swim EVERYDAY k?" Check out her blog for reasons why she will NOT swim everyday. Hahaha... But I kinda enjoyed the "in-awed" comments from her seeing the new Swimming Pool redesigned and reconstructed by the Singapore Sports Council. Heehee... *Chuckle*


Visited dad after the swim and he was doing real fine! Improving lots and he is beginning to start on porridge too! He was getting worried about us leaving him so reassurance has to be done like everyday and probably every few hours. I boiled the Winter Melon soup as taught by Mummy and brought for dad. He was pretty amazed how come I knew how to boil. Haaa.. Told him that mummy's a great teacher!

Today

Day started at 7:30am. I seem to sleep much lesser these days. Perhaps it's because I tend to sleep earlier lately too. By 12mn, I am all "konk" out whilst sister's light is still brightly litted up.

Went with mummy to a wet market to do some chicken-marketing. Gosh!! Mum really buy lavishly! I didn't know my parents usually buy ALOT of chicken then cut it up and put in the freezer. When I say alot, I mean ALOT!!! I found myself cleaning 36 chicken legs and cutting away 36x4 = 144 chicken NAILS. Eeeuk.. Cleaning and cutting chicken is all right. Cleaning the legs was a rather nauseating experience for me though. I guess it's because when I cut the meat, it's just the meat. When it's the legs, I literally see the L.E.G.S. Hmm.. Can anyone fathom what I mean? Hahaha!!!

Anyway, before I cut the chicken, I took out boxes to contain them. Whilst I was bending over, sister came into the kitchen and "dumped" Sparkle on my back. Hahaha!! And whilst I was busy cleaning the chicken, my sister entertained herself with this pic classifying us into De Entertainer, De Curious, De Idiot. D.U.h. I wonder if she is De Destroyer. Hahaha!!!

Today, mummy told sis and me to take a break and not go down in the morning. Just stay at home and rest. Gonna boil ABC soup later. A mixture of corn, tomatoes, carrots, brown onions, ginger, chicken legs, pork ribs. Yumz.. I think daddy will love it too! Hahaha!! Later, daddy gonna expect 3 visitors too.

Tomorrow

Matthew 6:34 says "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

I do not know what holds tomorrow for me BUT one thing I do know is that God holds my tomorrow. This morning when I prayed, I was a tad lost. I asked "Hmmm... What should I pray for?" Finally, I praise the Lord for the Lord says "Let everything that has breath praise Him." And I prayed that I will put all my trust in Him for the many tomorrows in my life for He is the author and perfector of this life I am living.

*ta* off to cook dinner.. *wave*

An amazing journey

Entering into the 4th week since my dad's incident and I was reflecting how life has been for me for the past 4 weeks. 4 weeks and so much has happened YET, so much has not happened. To me, time seemed to have come to a standstill for me (and mum agreed).

Due to the care of my father and a change of lifestyle for my family, I stopped serving in HopeKids for awhile. In order to spend more time in the hospital in the night with my dad previous weeks, I did not attend CG too. At the same time, to help motivate my dad through the phase of rehab, my family came to the decision, together with my approval, that I should take a month of unpaid leave.

How I feel? Lost. Very lost. It's like I lost the bearing in my life. I just do not know how to better explain my feeling other than the word "Lost".

Last week, I thought I was at one of my lowest peak. I did not feel like reading the Bible. I felt discouraged. I felt alone. I felt helpless. I felt mentally and emotionally sick. I asked God frustratedly "What is happening Lord!?" Breaking into tears seemed quite easy and I often cry out to God. Often which, though, I will feel this calmness within me.

In my mind, the picture of an ocean kept coming to my mind. In that picture, the ocean was vast cause I see nothing around. Not even a lighthouse. It was very very stormy, very choppy. If I were on a boat, it would have rocked 45deg. YET, I saw someone in the middle of the stormy ocean totally calm and not struggling. That was the calmness. The promise of God of never forsaking me.

It's easy to get tempted into sorrow or depression. However, we ought to remember that there will always be opportunities within a crisis. Opportunities meaning things that I can be thankful for. I believe God's timing is incredibly impeccable. Looking back on this journey, there is really so much to be thankful for. 2 most important. Family getting close. Friendships developed.

Music

A writer once wrote that music is powerful. It has the power to bring you from "now" to "then". It has the power to touch your heart thus we have to be careful to listen to proper music. I agree totally. A huge thanks to my best friend who got me a MP3, I was able to listen to music on my way home or to anywhere. Somehow, music works wonders for me - especially Christian music (Which basically dominates most of my disk space. Heehee..). Whenever I am down or discouraged or tired or "sian", music will never fail to brighten my day. Just a few days back, I found out where I got the love of music from - Dad.

My friend, Chris, bought my dad a Carpenter's Ultimate Collection CD and I thought that since I am converting those songs into my MP3 player, I might as well convert those CDs that my dad owns like Nat King Cole, Andrew Lloyd Webber, etc into my player too. A few days back, I let my dad hear the Carpenter's CD. He started to talk about the past and we chatted. Told him that I remember when we (sis and me) were young, we will usually put on headphones when dad turn on the record then we will start dancing around. My dad was shocked that I remembered and asked me if I still remember he brought me swimming when I was a baby. We started chatting about how my dad "wooed" my mum. The top she wore on their first date. Interesting chat indeed! The chat ended up with me assuring dad to have faith and confident that he will be better. He in turn assured me that he is strong and he will not give up.

These days, he will request for songs like "Memory" or Nat King Cole. He seemed more joyful and confident too. I guess by having the presence of mum, sis and me there did help him quite a bit too. Hmm.. Also my best friend seemed to have quite an influence on him. Ask him how many daughters he has, he will say "3". My best friend being the 3rd one.

Anyway, amazing things that photos can do for us. Of course, seriously, I cannot remember alot of things that happened to me at what age? 10 months old!! Now.. those who know me well enough, will know why I love sea sports now!! I started REAL young!! Hahahaa... Carol look real cute yeah?

Yesterday I went grocery shopping with Carol and Jan. Driving back, Carol slouched happily in her passenger's seat and said "Yay! I got photos to blog!". In reply, I said "Yay!!!! I got things to "steal"!! Hahhaa.. So.. here are the photos that Carol did up - yet again the "thief" is out!

Above All

A song that never fail to bring a tear/tears down my cheeks. I was walking back home from hospital yesterday and I was listening to this song. It not only melt my heart, it melt away my whole day of tiredness, worries and discouragement. It reminded me alot of God's promise of never leaving me. It simply reminded me that I once was lost with no purpose, I now am found by His grace and mercy and love.

Above All

Above all powers above all kings
Above all nature and all created things
Above all wisdom and all the ways of man
You were here before the world began

Above all kingdoms above all thrones
Above all wonders the world has ever known
Above all wealth and treasures of the earth
There's no way to measure what You're worth

Crucified laid behind a stone
You lived to die rejected and alone
Like a rose trampled on the ground
You took the fall and thought of me
Above all

Lenny LeBlanc, 1999
Integrity Music

Homemaker in future?

After 4 days, probably not. :)

Over the past 4 days, I found out why God has made us work. Well, perhaps, to be fair, a homemaker is really a job also. But it's a job that is even more tiring than working in a REAL job. Can anyone identify?

Over the past 4 days, I kinda took over my mum's role in the house. Sweep & wipe floor, bring Spanner for a walk, wash clothes, hang clothes, keep a lookout for the rain, feed my dogs, cook, hospital. Of course, then, my mum stays in the hospital from morning to evening. Night time is her time to rest. For me, I'll be in the hospital in the morning and back home at about 1230pm and back to the hospital again at 430/5pm - 8/830pm.

Now.. Let's talk about what I enjoy doing amongst the many small jobs in a house. - Cook.

I have over the 4 days learned one very important rule of thumb from my mummy about boiling soup. 3 chicken legs is the trick to my mummy's great soup! (+ the many other ingredients) I can't believe it honestly! On Tuesday, I made Macaroni. On Wed, I made Winter Melon soup. And today, I made ABC soup. (ABC soup is a huge mixture of ingredients poured into the soup) I expected mummy to leave with me a long list of "to-do" but no. All she tells me
is "Pour all the ingredients and 3 chicken legs and bring the water to boil for 15mins. When the water boils, put in the pork ribs, turn down the fire and boil for another 45mins." Cool..! As simple as that.. :) Anyone wants recipe, ask me. :P Hahaha!!!

This is the macaroni soup.

Today, mummy and I have decided to swap shifts. She will take on the night shifts and I take on the afternoon shifts. Cause my daddy's extremely difficult and moody in the nights.. Thought probably my mum could handle him better than me as she is way more patient than me. Past few nights left me rather despondent after exiting the hospital. I shall spare the details. Time to sleep. Got a breakfast appointment with Old Friend then to office for a training.

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
But where there are prophecies, they will cease;
where there are tongues, they will be stilled;
where there is knowledge, it will pass away.
For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.
When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child.
When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.
Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror;
then we shall see face to face.
Now I know in part;
then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

- 1 Corinthians 13:4-13

I see this love letter from God two ways.

1) God assuring me that His love for me is patient. He will be patient no matter how naughty I am. He will be kind towards me. He will wipe away all my past and accept me as who I am. He will protect me with His life (that's why He came to earth to die for me). He will entrust me to do His work. He will always persevere each time I fail Him. He will not give up on me. No matter where I run to, He will "hunt" me down.

That is the vertical love He has for me. A love that is so great that He died for me taking away all my sin.

2) The Lord also wants me to show this love to those around me. For me to love them patiently. For me not to give up on them. For me to be kind. For me to be forgiving. For me to believe in them and persevere.

That is the horizontal love. A love that is so great that it must be shared!

Loving someone is not easy. I guess that's why, Love is a challenge to me. For those wondering if I am seeing someone or interested in someone, no. I am talking about my daddy.

All in a day's work & thoughts.....

My one month of unpaid leave starts officially today. Came into this decision after a long time of hesitation and after 7 days of thinking, I decided that I will take it. Today, the reality of my leave is beginning to sink in. Am beginning to miss my clients. Or rather, I really do miss my job.

Ministry wise, I also took a one month off in HopeKids. More for the purpose of wanting to get ministered on Sunday. I foresee myself shuttling between hospital and home daily. I do pray that when my dad is more stable, I'd start going CG in the evening. Today when I saw Pin Toh up on stage advertizing HopeKids 441 Vision, I suddenly miss my P2 kids!!! Also, thanks to my shepherd, my sheeps are taken care of. HopeKids & sheeps has become so much a part of my life.

One month seems short... But today when I think about it, it sounds long. =) But anyhow, the very main purpose of the leave is really so that when my dad sees the whole family working towards his recovery, he will be more motivated! At the same time, relief my mum of her load and burden!

When the leave starts, my role as a "homemaker" starts too! Today, cooked 2 dishes + 1 soup. Soup's with the help of my lovely mummy. She got ready all the ingredients! But no worries! I have jotted it down! Then next time, I can do it myself.. Heehee..

Just as I was mopping the floor after all the cooking, my sister stepped out of toilet and fell to the floor and fainted. Ok... Must be clear. She fainted but did not lose consciousness. Gave me a scare!! Gosh.. 2 crisis in 2 weeks is really training me! When I got hold of her, I kept praying and ask God for wisdom cause I ain't no doc!! I don't know what to do!!!! Haaaa!!! First reaction is to prop her head up. Rushed to my room for cushions (my cushions have been very helpful! 2 are with daddy now!). Then suddenly thought that she could do with some hot water and panadols (for pain). Gosh.. things happened so fast that all I could remember was that I was trembling while grabbing the pills and water, reminding myself to be calm.

Praise God, thank God, all was fine! I must say, there was a moment when I told myself "SHUCKS! I should have chosen the profession of a nurse or doctor instead of a social worker sia! Then I won't be so cumbersome!"

Anyway, my sis's blog has more info PLUS a picture of her lying down. Er.. main purpose was to show her how faithful my Terrier was! Protecting her whilst I was doing the errands. Even when I got near her, he growled at me. Grrrrr....

Oh yah.. Not forgetting, today's mummy's birthday! Got her a NIKE polo T chosen by sis and boyfriend. 1 Suduko book. 1 Circular Suduko book. 1 Starbucks Tiramisu cake shared by 3 of us + 2 dogs! Happy birthday mummy!!!

Cycle of Grief

I think God must have been very gracious to me. Somewhere towards the end of last year, I bought a book entitled "On Children and Death" by Elisabeth Küber-Ross. It kinda refreshed my mind on the Grief Cycle. At that point of time, I was hoping to understand more about grieving so that I can help a client of mine.


(For more info, can either borrow my book or get the book yourself. Hee... Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, On Death and Dying, Macmillan, NY, 1969)

Yet in the wonderful book to understand more about stroke, it's said that when someone is hit with a stroke, they will go through different phases. Basically, it's because once while they independent totally on their own, they are now disabled. They were once well but now ill. Initial Shock. Future suddenly became very Unknown to them. Having to go through the reality is also very harsh. They may Deny facts asking "Why me?". After while, they may get Angry cause this is not the life that they want. Perhaps the fear of the unknown future will also create unwanted Stress and Anxiety. Being not able to move may put him then into Depression. Bargaining may start to take place when he feels emotionally more able. Finally, slowly and surely, he would walk into the Acceptance stage.

As I was reading it, I thought the different phases sounded familiar! Then I realised that it's the Grief Cycle. Like I said, it kinda put things into perspective for me. Over the past 11 days, my dad's emotional state has been like a roller coaster. It come to a point of time where I do feel my own blood pressure rising when he started scolding us. However, I often ask myself "What would it be like in my daddy's shoes?". I think... it's not that difficult to answer that question. Basically, no one really would want to be in that situation.

Yupz.. Just as daddy is going through an upheaval of emotions, so is sis, mum and me. However, for me, things were truly made easier by keeping my eyes on the Lord. It's interesting how frantic I could be. Yet, at the same time, it's so ever assuring that the peace of God has never left me. However, I gotta be honest though. Last week, there were days when I expect a miracle to happen. However, with expectations, I battle with disappointments. Then, it hit upon me this week that prayers is never only about miracles. Prayers is about Hope and Faith. I remember when my friend prayed for daddy, my dad was so calm and it almost seemed as if daddy has this Hope that no one could give.

My take is this: Theories can guide us. But God is the one who gives us directions.

Remembering one of my first few memory verse "Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart... Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." - Proverbs 3:3, 5-6

Mummy

I guess it's in crisis that I truly realize the importance or the greatness of my parents. In this case, I see how great my mummy is.

Before I woke up, she is already awake and making a bottle of honey for me. She says that she knows that I haven't been sleeping well and am heaty. Ask her how she knows and she says "Hah! Even when you go into the toilet, I know you do big biz or small biz!" *scary*

When I stepped out of CGH, informed mummy that I am walking home. By the time I reached home, a home-cooked meal is ready for me. Over the past few days, we have formed the habit of sitting down on the floor sharing our day about my dad. While sharing, I had a cup of freshly squeezed juice made by mummy.

My mummy is one who is very hospitable. Whenever friends come over, she will always ensure that they are served well. Very friendly and very young at heart. I think she is one who is willing to sacrifice for her family.

I often wonder... Will I be that great when I become a mummy? I often think I will not be. *smile*

Zzzzz...

Alone

Whilst daddy is in hospital, Sparkle has found a new bed to sleep on - Mine. He was sleeping with me for the past 2 days! Thanks to him, I had trouble sleeping as I am simply not used to having a "3rd party" sleeping with me! Sigh.. Just when I was getting used to it, Sparkle found a new best friend - My sister. Tonight, I am all alone.. *chuckle*

Stealing the picture from my sis again... :P [Pics were taken in my room. Mummy says that on and off, Sparkle will run up my bed to stare at the polar bear posters. Wonder what is he thinking of!]

She fell ill after spending a week in the hospital.. Poor gal was down with high fever and bad throat infection. Vomited a few times too.. Thank God, my health has been preserved. I better take care of myself and not let mummy worry at this time!!

Work has resumed for me. Yupz.. I did remember that today's Monday. Rather tough I must say.. Mind's on dad yet "body's" at work. Visited dad before and after work. Fortunately, dad has been tired after a day of rehab so when I went down after work, he was sleeping soundly. Unfortunately, he doesn't know I went. Hee...

I was just giving a thought about the past one week. Remember I mentioned about my training as a Family Group Conference Coordinator? Well, as a worker, we believe in Family ties. When a problem arose and there is a need to come together to discuss on how to tackle the problem, friends (& close friends & significant figures) will be more than willing. Over the past one week, I saw how possible that was. I saw my family getting united. Not only my family.. My friends inclusive! My best friend who has resigned had even suggested to cook for me everyday or visit my dad everyday. Family members came despite busy schedule giving their best advise, cheering my mum, sis and me on.

All righty.. Enough of thoughts.. Time to sleep.. Alone..

Taking some time off at home...

"Stroke is a common illness." says All you need to know about stroke by National Healthcare Group. *faintz* How scary can that be? Stroke being a common illness. Doesn't it mean that it can affect almost anyone?

Stroke occurs when a portion of the brain is damaged due to lack of blood supply to that part of the brain. Basically, it's otherwise known as "Brain attack".

Symptoms of stroke would include:
- Weakness of face, arm and leg on one side of the body
- Numbness of face, arm and leg on one side of the body
- Difficulty in speaking
- Difficulty in seeing, blindness
- Difficulty in walking steadily
- Sudden severe giddiness
- Very severe headache
- Increasing drowsiness, with possible loss of consciousness
- Confused state

It's also said that in some patients, these symptoms may be short lasting and disappear completely after 24 hours. This is a sign that a stroke may occur in the near future.

Recalling, my dad had about at least 3 symptoms over the past few months yet we did not recognize it as a stroke. Instead, speaking for myself, I thought it was just a part and parcel of an aging elderly man. Well, like Dr Marlie Jane said "This is not the time to start blaming yourselves. You have to be strong so that your dad will be strong."

Thank goodness, home is near hospital. Shuttling up and down the hospital has been tiring for sis, mum and me. Even my two dogs have by and by gotten used to the new routine. Of course, no doubt, it is hard for them to fathom what is happening. Spanner seemed to be missing daddy so much that he kept barking and whining. Both showed grim faces whenever we are home. There was once when we brought home the towel that we used to wipe daddy's face, Sparkle smelt it and kept wanting to be near it. Hmm.. yesterday Sparkle vomited and today's Spanner's poo is soggy and very very green. Hopefully nothing happen to these 2 doggies. Not exactly the best time to fall ill now.

Stealing some photos from my sis.

Sis and me taking our dogs to the vet for their yearly vaccination. Bo bian.. gotta go as the appointment was booked way beforehand.

My sis was snapping her cam away even in hospital. Guess that's her stress-free strategy. Hee... Btw, that's basically the same wall where all photos are taken.

Time to cook.

On the road to recovery

Unknowingly, today's already Thursday. Or is it Wednesday? Hmm.. Ok.. Today's Thursday. Time seemed to have stopped for me actually. I hope I remember to go back to work.

Daddy was down with a stroke on Monday and got me and family all frantic. However, there's really a whole list of things to thank God for. For 1, Daddy did NOT have a fall and was found in time. Staying over at the hospital is no joke cause it's really quite scary seeing the various types of patients. For awhile, I am thankful that I am no nurse..

Anyway, thanks to all who has been praying for daddy and my famliy. Prayers are indeed never in lack. Thoughout the past 4 days, though frantic and tired and (can't say not worried), I really do feel at peace. I am very sure that God is at work in all situations and circumstances.

Speaking of situations and prayers, time stopped for me until I got a shock when I was watching CNA yesterday. Earthquakes, etc.. Was just thinking, as much as I may think my situation is bad, there are worst ones out there fighting for life.

Yupz.. For now, am thankful that Dad is on the road to recovery.

Worth-Ship

Had a session of shepherding together with sheepie learning together about the meaning of worship. The best part about shepherding is that you get the opportunity re-learn things. Not only re-learn but to be re-convicted.

Is worship about the nice slow songs we sing? Is it about the instruments being properly tuned? Is it about whether we feel like worshipping or not?

In fact, no.. Worship is not only through songs or mood. It does not depend on our character or where we are or who we are. It does not depend if songs are sung with musical instruments or in tune.

John 4:23-24 says "Yet a time is coming and has no come when the true worshippers will worship the Father in spirit and in truth, for they are the kind of worshippers the Father seeks. God is spirit and his worshippers must worship in spirit and in truth."

True worship depends on our heart attitude. We worship God through our lives. It is the prostration of our souls in humility and contrite submission. It's to proclaim His majesty and graciousness. Then.. Do I worship God only when I receive good things from him? Do I worship Him even when I am going through bad times? If true worship depends on my heart attitude, is there any hinderances in my heart that obstruct me to be a true worshipper?

As I was preparing the lesson, Those were the questions I threw to myself. If I am called to be the salt and light, the ambassador of Christ, am I living a life that is set apart for the Lord?

One thing I re-learn is "Worship is the short form of Worth-ship. It is the Worth that God holds in our lives."

Strengths

Wednesday mornings are our training days. In order to put training into applications, we have Friday mornings set aside for Case Discussions. For this week, we focused on the Strengths Perspective Model.

Together with this week's Strengths' lesson is the story of Pippi Goes To School. Has anyone heard of Pippi Longstocking?? I did!! I LOVE to read about her carefree life. After 20 over years, I have already forgotten the story. Reading it again gives it a refreshing feel. (I'm really really a kid in an adult's body.. hee..)

= Quoting =

In Pippi Goes to School, our heroine's insurrectionary spirit is hardly dampened by her first taste of academe. Her friends Tommy and Annika head off bright and early at 8 a.m., "hand in hand, swinging their schoolbags." Pippi can't be bothered to get going until a little later: "At exactly ten o'clock she lifted her horse off the front porch, and a little later all the people in the town ran to their windows to see what horse it was that was running away." It's just Pippi headed for school in her own inimitable fashion. The teacher's vain attempts to teach her math and art and music fail miserably. When asked to add 7 and 5, Pippi retorts, "If you don't know that yourself, you needn't think I'm going to tell you." It's not that Pippi's naughty, it's just that she has her own way of doing things. At the end of the day, it's she who's consoling the exhausted teacher: "You understand, Teacher, don't you, that when you have a mother who's an angel and father who's a cannibal king, and when you have sailed on the ocean all your whole life, then you don't know just how to behave in school." (Ages 4 to 8)--Claire Dederer

= unquote =

Off hand, 1 of the 6 principles of the Strengths' Perspective model tells us that our client is an expert in their own world. Through the simple story of Pippi going to school. Throughout her whole life she has been sailing on the ocean. She's right.. What does she really know about behaving in school? She knows about waves and water caps, etc but what does she really know about behaving in school? Changing the story a little, I am wondering what if Pippi's a soft spoken girl and the teacher insisted that Pippi has misbehaved and punished her?

Very often, when I help someone, when I give advices or even simply when I hear a problem, I did not listen properly. I did not hear the context. I may not know the history. And easily, I could fall into the trap of judging someone cause my personal values say "It is wrong.". To listen is really a lifelong skill.

Hmm.. Strengths Perspective... Honestly, which is easier? To look for flaws or to look for strengths to affirm a brother/sister? Dear Heavenly Father, help me to be one who looks up to you and keep my eyes focused on you.

Thanksgiving

Was just giving thanks for the little hurdles that God has brought me through...

Remembering in December 2005, a good friend of mine knows that I will be resigning my full time job to be a full time intern. As he knows my commitment, he found for me a lobang (his own resources) for a bursery (from a clan). I did not know what I was into actually. In fact, I thought it's a loan!! When my friend told me, told me half a story only. So I asked "What is required for me to take a loan? Interest rates how?". He just told me "They want nothing in return la!". When I signed the application form, the ONLY requirement they want of me is "That you will sponsor at least one person's education once in your lifetime."

Being a full time intern not receiving any remuneration, I was REALLY very grateful for this lobang cause it has helped me save one semester's fees. God's blessings did not stop there. Immediately when my internship was over, I was already offered a full time job with a pay that was higher than expected.

Honestly, when I think about it, I really do have a lot of blessings from God in terms of providence. My shepherd could vouch for me. Each time I thought I am down, God will always be there to pull me through.

Why am I in such a reminiscing mood? I guess I was really thinking about the "contract" that I signed when I took on the bursery. Because I was helped in my education, my sponsor wanted me to help someone else in their education. Kinda remind me of keeping a thankful heart. Often times, it's easy to be helped and then forgot that you were ever helped. Kinda reminded me of the story in Genesis 40 about how Joseph has helped the cupbearer and baker yet after being helped, they forgot about him.

Today, I made a few home visits towards the end of my working day. I brought a cheque to my client's place and I was greeted by their son "Hi Aunty Sandra!". While he was doing his homework, I chatted with his parents. When his father thanked me for the CNY gift my org gave them, this little boy came up to me and started chatted with me. He thanked me for helping his family. Then he started sharing with me his cute and poor friends in school. When he saw how poor they are, he'd rather eat biscuits and sacrifice his school allowance. He told me that since we are helping him, isn't it better if he help others? Mind you, he's not more than 10 years old.

I left the house feeling very warmed. In fact, his heart of thankfulness puts me in shame. Sometimes, living in this secular world, it's easy to fall into the trap of complains and negativity. It's in times like these when we choose to give thanks that we are able to see things from another perspective. He reminded me to always learn how to give thanks on the spot.