In closing...

2007 has indeed been a fantastic year for me. Fantastic not as in all mountain highs. 2007 is almost like the year that I am most stretched in terms of my physical, mental, emotional & spiritual being.

If there is one thing I have grasp in 2007 is that God's grace is ALWAYS sufficient for me to meet my daily needs. There are nights when I literally cry & ask God "Why?" or even tell God that I am really feeling very tired. Sometimes in the hustle & bustle of life, I even wondered, very often, where is my joy? What is my life purpose? Have I lost it? Is it hidden? Yet, my Father has remained so faithful even when there are times that I am faithless. Lighted my path, refreshed me daily, protected & guarded me. I know I can totally trust that He will meet my daily needs - be it at work, with family or with myself.

2007 has her fair share of tears indeed. It, too, has its fair share of joy!! (1) 2007 is a year that I celebrate friendships. Close friends got closer. People whom I do not seem to know very well, I am a step closer. (2) In 2007, I also got to know myself a tad bit more. Which also means that I am STILL a work-in-progress. (3) 2007 IS also the year that I hit my big 3-0. Being 30 does mean a lot of me. On the top most list, being 30 means that I get tired easily too. Going the extra mile takes a little more effort (actually, I don't know is it my age or my job that makes me tired. Either way, I think it's co-related). (4) Starting my career as a social worker in 2006, in 2007, there is one year of sufficient time to hear unsuccessful & successful stories from people (professionals & clients alike) we work with. (5) 2007 also means that I "lost" my beloved younger sister to a Mr Ng. (6) Most importantly, it is also a year that I really learn what family is all about. I learn what it means to be there for my family when needed. Like how I celebrate friendships, I celebrate family ties too. I learn how to express myself better with my parents. I learn how to empathize & I really enjoy every moment I get to spend at home. Contrary from what I was before.

I do not know what God has in plan for me in 2008 but I have in mind plans that I would like to put in place. For this, I shall share in 365 days time (I hope I remember to blog that).

Ending this entry at 11:45pm. Below's 3 pictures of how I ushered in 2008 - with a new outlook.

Cheers!!!!

This is the before pictures of my 2 dogs - filled with hair. Sent in for full grooming at 10am. Collection time is 4pm.

That's how sister & me spent 6 hours - Lunch, shop at Far East Flora for hand bouquets & a new outlook for me. (At this point, I must commend my sister's patience! She waited for me 3 hours with no whines & complains! Really gonna miss her a lot when she flies.)
This is how 3 of us looked at the end of the year - WELL-groomed with a totally new outlook!!

Stealing

"There's only one sin... And that is theft. Every other sin is a variation of theft... When you kill a man, you steal a life. You steal a wife's right to a husband, rob his children of a father. When you tell a lie, you steal someone's right to the truth. When you cheat, you steal the right to fairness." - The Kite Runner, Khaled Hosseini.

Was intrigue by it & gave it a thought & thought of the many times that I have 'stolen' from others or self.

"When you choose bitterness, you steal your own opportunity to experience grace & forgiveness." - Me. :)

My December @ work

November & December has been a stretching & tiring month for me & my two other colleagues. My first Christmas party was on the first week of November! Being in a welfare Home means that when school holiday starts, outings begin. Before the holiday started, we started to receive invitations from various organizations to bring our kids for outings. There is almost no one day that we are not going out. If not for outings, it's for miscellaneous issues like settling quarrels, purchasing textbooks, driving around, meetings, conferences, courses, etc.

As I am typing this, I am really not doing it in a complaining mode. Yes, it's tiring but I get hands-on experience on what it's like to be a parent. Yes, I am feeling a little burnt out but in exchange, I get closer to the hearts of the children, parents & guardians whom I work with. Yes, I have given more time to work during the weekends but through that, I get to experience what it is like to look forward to going to church on Sundays. Likewise, when I have lesser time for my friends & family, I experience what's it like to miss them & yearn to spend quality time with them. Yes, I may not be in the BEST mood for Christmas shopping but I saw how a very simple personalized card/gift goes a longer way.

Through it all, this is what I gathered "God's grace, strength & mercy is always sufficient to see us through the day."

1st Dec 2007


One of my dream is to be part of a backstage work in a Theater. Thanks to the exposure that I am receiving in where I am now, I really do get to go places. One of it is Esplanade where some kids get a year-long training to dance.

2nd Dec 2007


This is me with many other kids & uncle & aunties watching a Tiger-Burning performance on a Sunday afternoon.

After that, I got to roam the streets of Orchard on a Sunday finally!! I haven't been doing that since March & I really really miss walking down the streets on Sundays. I love watching Baskers perform. It's ironic really... Despite how much I hate crowds, I really do love the atmosphere that happens along Orchard Road. The above clip is something that I caught that day & I really really adore it. My favorite - Percussion!!!



8th Dec 2007

Had a DVD movie at Trader's Hotel. When I turn the van into the Hotel, we received a very very warm reception. We were guided into a room that was specially decorated for kids. Had sofas, bean bags, Ikea fun table, throws on floor with lots of pillows. Had popcorn, food, drinks, ice cream all ready for us. Just waiting to be eaten only!



14th Dec 2007

Beyond's Graduation Day held at Spring Singapore. Being in a growing organization, it takes corporate events like these to meet my colleagues from other departments. It's in times like this when camera go snapping! Oh, not forgetting that it's the ONLY day that staff at Beyond dress up & ironically, in black.


15th Dec 2007

After more than a decade long, I finally went to the zoo with the kids!!! On that fateful day, I bumped into my Exec Dir with his family & my HR Dir with his friends. It's like a meeting place for Beyond staff! It was hot, humid & some places, smelly!


After that, went to a bungalow at Pasir Ris organized by HDB for a time of games & food. The weather was so "ARGH!!!" It was hot & humid in the morning & later in the afternoon, it was raining. Heee... Check out the plastic "hat" we tied onto a girl's head.



26th Dec 2007 (Today)

Met up with my colleagues for lunch at Tiong Bahru Plaza. It was a very relaxing way to end 2007... =) After lunch, after tea/coffee, one of us just felt this strong need to take a group photo! It's amazing how 5 of us managed to squeeze in!

After which, I brought 9 youths to the Singapore Army Museum together with another colleague. Well, it's not exactly a VERY fantastic place but sufficient in preparing the young boys for their future that will come one day.

On a personal note, I do get some hair-raising moments. Moments when I feel slightly more patriotic. =)

Reflect & Resolute

Couple of days ago, I spent about 3 hours to pack my wardrobe. This time, I told myself to "harden" my heart. Meaning - To throw whatever that I cannot wear, whatever that I can't bear to throw previously. Altogether, I had about a third of my clothes gone & had some clothes/bags to give away too.

Yesterday, I bought a table top & whilst changing it, again, I cleared my stuffs & changed the layout of my room. In total, I threw away 3 huge bags. Next, I would want to pack my books & my shelves. I need to find a system or a best way to pack it. I doubt for that, there will be much to throw though. Books is something that I can never bring myself to throw.

This year, I am most satisfied having thrown things away. In the past many years/times when I do clearing, it's always "I can't bear to throw this. Ok, I keep.". This time, I really felt like I am cutting myself away from unwanted stuffs or otherwise known as waste. Feels good knowing that I am starting a new year totally fresh.

It's that time of the year again to reflect & resolute.

Disney Christmas

Today had a Christmas party at my HQ. However, I didn't stay for long since it was an official half day. Met up with an colleague from my old department and had a session of gift exchange. What matters most, to me, wasn't the gifts I received but the great big warm hug she gave me. It's amazing how my friendship with her has grown so much ever since I joined. We have shared many moments of joy & tears. Merry Christmas my dear... :)

Pride & Joy

Someone once told me that it's VERY difficult to find someone who is humble. Everyone has pride & I must say "So do I".

Today, I am very proud to present my handiwork!!!! *Drum Roll* A lampshade!!!!!! WoooooHOoooo!!!

The night before, I kinda conceptualize how I want the shade to look like, how I would work on it, etc. After my friend left my house this morning, I looked at the sheet of plastic cardboard & started working on the lampshade. After a good 30 mins, *wa-la*, there it is... *smile* I always enjoy the process of "nothing -> something". Nice...

And yes, I am proud of it. I wanna thank Mr Abba my Technician from my Technical Class in my Secondary School who taught me what is "Finger Joint". I wanna thank my mummy for giving me a chance to make a lampshade. I wanna thank my daddy cause I think the genes for handiwork comes from him. I wanna thank blah blah blah...... *CRAPing away*

*Looking forward to a friend returning from US*

Blasting end to 2007!

Just yesterday, I was blogging about how frustrating it is to NOT meet my dateline. Last night, before I sleep, I prayed & told God that only He will work things out.

Today, I received 2 great news (naturally pertaining to the dateline) & it is really the best Christmas gift for me. The best closing gift for 2007.

I really love proper closures. Nothing beats a good closure.

6 days to Christmas, 5 day to dateline

If not for my friend, I would not have remembered that it's just 6 more days to Christmas. Where has my friend, Time, gone to?

Right now, Christmas is really more like a deadline than a celebration for me (quoted by my friend). Am advocating for the kids in the Home to be able to spend some time with their family over Christmas and not receiving the green light, it's weighing a little burden & pain on my shoulder. Everyday, I can almost visualize the tears in the kids' eyes.

5 days. It's really all the time I have left.

No man is an island

I exceptionally love this phrase "No man is an island"

Today, I met up with 3 friends. As I was on the train on the way home, I realized that, in some way or another, these 3 friends have played an important role in my life in a season of my life.

One was my first shepherd I had when I returned back to Singapore from Brisbane. In her, I have learned faith & love. She is one fantastic girl with a great fantastic voice with a heart that is so filled with love. I remember her for one who stayed far away from me, worked at the other end of where I lived. However, she makes all effort to make life easy for me & shepherding was usually held at Starbucks at Simei. She worked as a Youth Worker back then & was studying the Grad Dip in Social Work. It was only when I went through that path, I realized how tiring it can be working, studying & shepherding. For that, I give her my utmost respect.

One was a first "official" sheep. A girl whom I looked after spiritually for awhile. She has taught me what it means to love God. Jesus said "If you love me, feed my sheep." Through her, I felt that being a shepherd is a task that is commissioned by God. Thus, learning how to feed His sheep has helped myself to be disciplined in keeping my walk with God tight.

The other lady is neither a sheep nor a shepherd but one whom I have worked with several times - over friends' weddings or in church ministry. Our friendship really grew during those times when we worked together. Our understanding, care & concern simply stems from the fact that we are sisters in Christ.

Sometimes, it amazes me how friendship grows through the different circumstances. Meeting up with friends always refreshes me.

Today was a unique meet up because we ended up walking from one MRT station to another just in search of a conducive place to pray for one another. We did not know what to pray for thus we asked the Holy Spirit to lead us. Indeed, when 2 or more are gathered in His name, His presence is there with us.

Yes, meeting up with friends refreshes me. Leaving each other after a thorough prayer leaves me refreshed spiritually. The family of God is an amazing family to be in.

*Tired*

I gotta admit it - I am really physically stretched - tired.

Working in a welfare home for children is not a joking matter. Especially during the school holidays, it's madness. Outings, parties, outings, parties.. Basically, it's busy busy till no time to think or even to process any emotions

3 more weeks to the end of school holiday. To all reading my blog, please keep me in prayer for help at work soon. THANKS!!! *SMILE*

I'm back!!! With a VENGEANCE!!

My PC is finally up & I am back with a vengeance!!! Not with lots of words but with lots of photos from my trip 2 weekends ago!!

DAY 1

2 happy girls & 1 very very grouchy boy

The girls kept their ever-ready smile. The boy was too captured by the beautiful surroundings that he cannot help but break into a smile... ^v^

I was in one of my laughing fits. Mandy told a VERY cold joke & I can't stop laughing (though the both have stopped)!
After the meal, we decided that it was WAY too good & filling, we decided to walk to a nearby stack of rocks. So wanting to spray "Sandra was here" (" ,)

Conquered the rocks & we thought "Ok la, the island on the other side don't look all that far. Let's walk over." 45 mins walk!!

This is us on the island - Doing nothing but silly poses. Even the guide has to stifle his laughter. He must be thinking "What are these Singaporeans doing?!?!?!?!?!"

Basically, the only agenda we had was to eat, rest & take photos. This is how we rested after a 1.5hr walk to & fro. We came to a conclusion that as Singaporeans, wherever we go, we like to rest our feet on something higher. Is that true?

Check out our MADNESS!!! With just one diving mask that I brought over, we had like an hour of fun!

Let me tell you... This is LIFE!!! Rather, that WAS life. It was so relaxing... And guess what, other than a 1.5hr walk we were in that lying position for a long time & OH! For the first time, we saw a full rainbow - From left to right. Other than God's covenant with Noah, I thought of Care Bears! *Hee!!*

DAY 2


This is how soft the morning looks.... :)

And this was how sound we both slept! Aiyo... Thought we sleep in the hut on stilts in water, would not have mozzies. WHOLE night, I was chasing mozzies away from my face, my ears, etc. That is why, early in the morning, I brought my pillow out to Zzzzz....

*SIGH*... Sad to say, despite the fun, my two buddies had a great fight!! I TRIED to interfere but alas... I failed. Then again! Whoever loses, is my buddy. Whoever wins, ALSO my buddy! OK, I am crapping.

Now, this is REAL crap. First, there was a snake stance, then a tiger claw, a crane stance, a monkey move, a preying mantis stance & a DRUNKEN stance. Hahaha!!! How well we 3 entertained each other. *tsk*
After all the fun, we just relaxed at the pavilion staring at our "therapeutic" rock, amazed totally at how God has created everything in the world. Good things have to come to an end. We moved from the first resort to the next. No longer do we live on stilts but in air-conditioned room. Basically, our scenery was also taken away from us. It was a total bare & empty beach. Well, still, I brought home sea-shells. =)

Our first meal on a kelong - Seafood!!! Whilst waiting for food to arrive, we walked around - Posing YET again our silly shots.

After every good meal, we have to stroll. We had the company of a very beautiful moon. See that yellow dot behind? That's the moon. Small as it may seem, it was HUGE to us! Simply beautiful... *.*

*sigh*... I am really unfortunate. I am *ahem* the smallest in size THUS, my two buddies decided that I am the EASIEST target to bully. Mandy ku-chi (tickled) me like almost everyday!!!!

DAY 3

Last day... Really not a lot of photos to take already. Mainly because most of the space in the SD card is used to video me being BULLIED!!!! *Grrrrrrr*

To round it up... In all honesty, this trip could have been a very boring one. Yet, somehow, the 3 of us entertained each other well. For me, I have gained quite a bit from this trip - A relaxed mind; 2 buddies; Admiration of God's creation from the simple sunrise, sunset & rainbow. These are really just 10% of photos that was taken. More can be seen at my Multiply.

See you in awhile...

*Pssst* Not that I do not want to blog. I do. However, my home PC is in ICU right now. Bye for awhile...

Mummified

So there I was standing in front of a form teacher of my girl. She asked my girl "You ready?". Girl replied yes and she said "Congratulations, you passed!" Girl was so happy, she turned & hugged me, jumped non stop, grinned from ear to ear, hugged mum.

Went over to my boy & he was crying because he was afraid to know his results. Finally after a long wait, he jumped with joy, knowing that he passed.

Today is the release of the Primary Six Leaving Examination (PSLE) results. I walked them to their school. The girl, excited. The boy, anxious. The girl walked real fast. The boy walked 10 steps, walked backward 9 steps.

As I sat in the hall awaiting for the principal to finish her speech, my girl kept turning back to make sure that I was there. I kept a smile on my face but deep inside, honestly, I was just as nervous.

After the results, sat down with them to discuss which secondary school they should go to, do all the necessary paper work, etc.

Hmm, is that how a mummy would feel?

Contrast

I was on video call with Nelson just now & that was how I was like throughout - Hand stuck to my face. Hee.. concerned, he asked me why I was so "xian" (aka bored or down). I really can't find an answer cause I am really fine. Just one of those days really. As I will be away for the weekend, I've to ensure that everything goes on fine, appointments all made, parents all called, arrangements arranged.

Anyway, my dear friend took a photo of me looking really bored. In contrast, he sent me another photo where I was happily slurping down my Mango pudding!

Lars & the real girl

I really did not want to miss this show so I went to watch it after work today. Turned out to be a highly fantastic show. (Disclaimer: By my own standard) By the critic's definition, it's a comedy. By my definition, it's really more than a comedy.

Lars' mother passed away when he was very young (or by birth). Elder brother, Gus, ran away when he couldn't handle their father & father did not seemed to raise Lars up well. When Gus returned to take over the house, Lars was already living in the garage like a family dog, as described by Gus. Introverted, heavily laden with huge emotional baggage, he grew up into a man filled with pain, unable to get close to anyone for fear of abandonment and/or loss. One day, Lars introduced his girlfriend, Bianca to his brother & sis-in-law, Karin. Only that Bianca is really a life-sized doll. With very strong encouragement from Karin & family doctor (who diagnosed him with Delusion), everyone in the town agreed to play along with him, treating Bianca as if she is a real human. Everything was staged by Lars, from Bianca having an illness to Bianca being unconscious to her death. During which, when Bianca was about to die, the community come together to share life with him, share about how losing someone is like, etc. Soon, when he was ready to let go of his own pain, Bianca died.

For me, it's a show filled with deep deep inner emotions. Letting go. Letting go is often the hardest thing to do. Your heart flutters & beat erratically, your mind is in a turmoil, you want to go left yet every part of your being turns right. Getting to sleep is hard cause something is interrupting. Soon, you drift into sleep & next day, when you wake up, you wake up to the emotion & again, it's a one day cycle.

I certainly have not gone through abandonment or a great loss but I recently learned a thing or two about letting go. "Letting go" (to me) is about looking face to face at the situation & confront it. However, then I realize that not every situation can be confronted and so, to me, it's about making the choice to tell God everyday "God, I give it to you."

*Oh*... NOTHING to worry about.. I am not going through huge hurdles in life. Hee..

Nostalgia

Music always has her way of bringing one back in time. At least, she has her way of transporting me back.

I took out my CD bag & took out one of my favorite CD to listen. It instantly brought me back in time. Memories of my past flashed me by reminding me of the various people who has walked into my life. Some stayed. Some left. Some imprinted deep footprints. Some forgotten. Some who has hurt me deeply. Some whom I have hurt deeply.

Life. She really have a whole bag filled with ironies for us. Yet, it is really through the various ironies in life that makes me who I am today.

These days, I am feeling really melancholic & deep in thoughts. The minute I took off my "working cap" after work, immediately, I went into my "deep thoughts" mode. Very soon, unknowingly, I reached home.

1 Corinthians 10:13

1 Cor 10:13
No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

It's funny how you wake up & felt as if a huge nightmare has happened. Only that, in reality, you know that when you wake up, the bugging issue is still bugging at you.

Hee... reminded me of Hong Teck's lesson - Terminating Things that Bugs you!!

Online Shopping

Here I am, 6:30am, totally awake & shopping online with Ms J at US. Shopping online is a torture really. You can see but you can't touch, you can't try. Especially also when there is an exchange rate to take note of. Best part, you simply just have to have faith in the friend buying it on your behalf.

Did overnight duty last night. Tucked 3 little ones in & found myself having to settle a spat in the other room. Finally, found my way to my fold-able bed in the 3rd room & had slight problems getting them to sleep. They were talking, blabbering, teasing & laughing. Two hours lying on VERY soft spring bed, staring at the ceiling & I still can't get to sleep. Bed too soft, back too aching. The kids somehow keep having the need to go to the toilet.

Woke up at 5:30am to get 6 kids up & about to go for the Run for Love Carnival organized by Adidas. Colleague came at 6:30am to pick them up & now, I am left with 5 little kids. Helped 3 to bathe & got all 5 to have their breakfast with much pain. Finally got them to clear the mess in the kitchen, clean their room, do their laundry & sat them down for cartoon - Mickey Mouse!! Thank God I bought some cartoons & left it in my office! Well, only 3 really like to watch cartoons. 2 went to play "bluff-bluff". Barely afternoon & I am feeling really really absolutely sleepy already. Basking in this moment of being alone in the office with no kids for awhile before I even think of lunch. I wonder if that's how it's like being a mummy.

Yesterday, I had a parent who was complaining how expensive things are getting. We are beginning to see a rise in the prices at supermarkets, food centres & things in general. It's like the rise of 2% in GST started in July but the full blown effect is like now. It's been not easy with things increasing & wages maintaining at the same rate.

Peace-Maker

One of my HAPPIEST moment
- Happened not too long ago when a professional from MCYS commended that what I was doing with my kid was actually a therapy - of which I do not know! She was surprised that I was only in my new dept for 5 months. She thought I have been working with kids the whole of my life. When she said that, I said a prayer and thank God for giving me great favor at work & leading me to a job that's in sync with my gifting.

One of my ANGRIEST moment
- Happened not too long ago also. I was very frustrated when a school is not cooperating to help alongside for my kid. It's really frustrating when the Home is doing everything they could to help a child but the school is not willing to. Schools are usually the best place to teach a child social etiquette & social norms. I was really angry - to the point of tears.

Last night, I met up with a friend at Villa Bali for a meal. Updated our current life & somehow, towards the end, we questioned each other on our most embarrassing, angriest, happiest & moment. (Hehe.. I shall NOT share my most embarrassing moment).

On my way back, I was thinking that my workplace has indeed a learning place for me. Given me last time, I doubt I will stand up & speak for myself, lest for someone. Naturally, I am really someone who is quite peace-lover, not a peace-maker.

Matt 5:9 says "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God." It did not hit me till about a year back that we are called to make peace & not just to love peace.

Serving God

I was once again scanning the film negatives to jpeg pictures & I saw a few nice pictures of me and sis & ex-shepherd along with the many others of me and my church friends in Brisbane.

Suddenly, I recollected my ex-shepherd's encouragement to me before I went home (Singapore). She told me, paraphrased "God is the same everywhere. It doesn't matter where you are serving God - So long as you serve Him with all your heart and soul."

As much as I miss the times in Brisbane, I am more excited about what God has in stored for me for my future.

Perks

During this period of time, friends have commented how very blessed I am.

You see, I do have perks in my job. As my kids get blessed with tickets from various companies or individual volunteers, I really do get to go places. Recently, I brought my kids to Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and Singapore Discovery Centre. Today, I brought them to Wild Wild Wet. 2 days later, we got tickets to a play "You are Special" & 1 Dec, there is an invitation to Scrooge Musical. If I am not wrong, in total for the month of Nov & Dec, we have 5 parties planned for the kids.

Personally, I really appreciate all these little perks. If not for the kids, I doubt I will actually even have visited Singapore Discovery Centre. Enjoying outings is just one minor excitement in my worklife.

Another thing that really excite me are life trainings. A "judge" when kids quarrel. Once in awhile, I get to be a "stone", standing in the middle when one kid start chasing another. I do sometimes get to be the babysitter when everyone is enjoying & the little ones can't play. Oh!! For the first time in my life, I got to learn how to change diapers & even learn how I can toilet train a child. Playing a "mother" or "jiejie" role to kids has made me learn one important lesson - Setting a good example.

I've learned that a child's life is really a book with blank pages. The adults help contribute the the child's life story. Everyday is a learning day for a child. Today, a child may have done something right. If the adult caught it in time & complimented the child, the child feels good & will repeat the good deed. If a child did something wrong & the adult closes his/her eyes, then the child will interpret "O, this means OK to do.". Children always observe & learn FAST. Just a week ago, had a new young kid. Came in not speaking a word. Now, the language spoken, action displayed is that of the older kids.

I often wonder - This is work. What will life be like when I have my own kids? What kind of parent would I be? May God lead me as He is guiding me now.

P.S. I know you guys out there must be thinking what an enjoyment going to different places right? Trust me, I slept in the first half of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. I was SO tired ferrying kids, playing mummy & jiejie. Heehee... I think, it's time for some foot massage again.

Technology

WOWEEEEEee!!!! Yesterday, I "stole" my sister's webcam, set it up & had a video session with Jan. However, something was missing badly cause can see, cannot talk.

And so, today, I went to buy a cheap $7.00 mic & woweee!!! I finally decided to install Skype. Now, life is SOOOO fun... I wonder why I delayed for such a long time. Ya ya.. Jan is calling me a lazy bum now.

*Tech-idiot*

Love, Grace & Mercy

Psalms 63:3-4
"Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you. I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands."

I woke up feeling refreshed this morning. During today's P&W session, I thought I saw my life flashed me by & I was filled with deep gratitude. I was in awe of God's love, grace & mercy in my life.

A better person

Saw this poster lately. Thought it was a very apt reminder... :)

I do not wish for this to happen... but I am sure this is something some of my friends hear from me lately. Er, my friend, you know who you are, I will work towards being a better friend! Will meet you during your one week break...

Gifts!!!!!

Yay!! It's the holiday & I can finally do what I promised Carol to do - Blog the lovely things she bought for me from her trip to Taiwan & Bangkok. *Don't be envious* Heehee...

As you can tell, I really do not need to buy clothes for a long long long long LONG LOOONNnNNnG time. Not only was I blessed by my sister but also a friend who went for holidays. Bought me 2 tops & a huge packet of Pistachios!!!!

Er, not gonna blog too much. Holiday means to be away from my PC. Bye!!!

111

Yesterday I took 111 heading back towards Alexandra bypassing Orchard at about 11:30pm. I was gazing out of the bus & saw workers hard at work putting up the Christmas decorations on trees & buildings. This morning, I took 111 again heading towards Orchard at 10:00am. Again, I saw workers hard at work with the Christmas decorations & I wonder, again.

Every year, I look forward to the lights up at Orchard Road. No matter how much I detest crowded places, I will make it a point to be there one night just to see the light up. I love the atmosphere.

Somehow, a thought just hit me this morning - I wonder what were the workers feeling or thinking while they were working hard putting up all the deco? Do they know what Christmas is? Do they know this man called Jesus, the only reason for Christmas? I wonder.

Reaction and Reasoning

Once again, I sat at the Family & Juvenile Court wondering. Wondering how does any parent bring him/herself to lodge a Beyond Parental Control on the child.

I was questioned by a mum "Why are children nowadays so naughty?". I wanted very much to tell her straight in the face that how a child grows up is very dependent on what the adults wants to teach him. If the child's neglected at home, naturally he will look for his friends & if his friends are of bad influence, conveniently, he will adopt the bad habits.

Yet another parent was sharing with me about her child. In short, she shared her family life history. She says that she cannot control anymore. He just doesn't listen. She shouldn't have adopted him. I thought to myself "That's as good as losing a battle that could be won." Just the thought of "I shouldn't have adopted him" has negative impact on the child.

I believe in believing in people. Rather, it's not easy believing people (especially if they have done like so many things for you to not trust). However, I strive towards telling myself to believe in others & give chances. (Of course, I get disappointed many times & I get down once in awhile) but that doesn't stop me from learning how to look at a film negative and imagining all the beautiful colors the picture can turn out to be.

Over the past 4 months, I have experience early "motherhood". Children are really very observant bunch of people. Their rate of absorbing is more than that of a sponge! I learn that I have to set an example so that the kids can learn. I experienced a child getting very angry with me ignoring me. However, the child wrote a letter for me telling me why there is anger. After that, I realized that the child is just reacting because I hadn't had the time to spend individual time with him. I thought to myself - If they can react & act up to a social worker, how much more will they react/act up to their own parents/guardians. However, if we, the adults, do not know how to react to that reaction, then, we will lose a wonderful opportunity to educate & nurture them.

Gosh, there is so so much to learn about kids & with kids. So much to be joyful & cry about. So much to learn about myself as well. Life's indeed a journey.

Precious Sunday

Last night, I went to bed with a heavy & upset heart, wondering how could I have done better, if I could. I tried to put things aside, I tried to not think about it, I tried to look at things positively & optimistically but it's like a thorn in the heart. Nonetheless, I prayed & told God that there's really nothing I can do. I ask God to refresh me so that I can return to HopeKids today refreshed. Somehow, when I woke up today, a song was placed in my head "5 loaves & 2 fishes" by Corrine May. As I walked my dog, I kept singing it.

Ever since I started having to have work duties on Sunday, being able to be at church on Sundays & spending time with CG has became very precious to me. Today, my Sunday is very precious because I spent my time with my kids & leaders at HopeKids.

I took a quarter break from HopeKids for nearly 4 months. Today is my first time back after a long while. I woke up feeling excited & in anticipation. I actually prepared a packet of Marshmellow JUST IN CASE the kids have difficulty warming up to me. I was pleasantly surprised that I do not need the Marshmellows & warming up was easy. I really felt welcomed. In fact, 2 kids actually came up to me and told me the changes HopeKids has had. Some came up and hugged me. Some asked if I am back to lead games

Coincidentally or by the timing of God, the Worship Leader shared that she was touched the story of 5 loaves & 2 fish where Jesus fed more than 4000 people. When we are faithful with little, God will multiply & bless us. I was reminded that every little that I have, belongs to God. Every little & minute sadness that I have also belongs to God. God will take it & comfort me.

Later in the afternoon, I attended a HopeKids leadership huddle (halfway through, I wondered if I was supposed to be there cause everyone seemed to be in HopeKids full time!). NONETHELESS, I never regretted being there. Hong Teck delivered a fantastic teaching on the steps towards learned optimism.

After such a long blog, what I really want to say is this: God always answer prayers. Last night, I asked God "Don't go too far from me." Today, I really felt that God is so so so close to me. Right from the time I woke up with the song to now.

Sister

Carol blur blur hit the car's bumper yesterday & I accompanied her to the mechanic this morning. She passed a fantastic remark while we were walking under the rain with 2 huge umbrellas - she behind me. She said, paraphrased, "So funny! It takes us to be in these kind of situation for us to go out and spend time together."

It really brought a smile to my face the whole day. Each time I think about it, automatically, I will smile.

My sister is someone I love dearly. Many times, I enjoy the little moments I have with her over meals or car ride or even just lying on her bed watching TV with her at her PC. My sister will always tell you that when she was young, I hit her on her head thus I am smarter than her. However, as kids, I really do not know what I was doing. Hahaha!!! As kids, I only know that I am the elder sister and I have a duty to take care of the younger one.

Now as adults, with her married & preparing for wedding, with me busy with my own life, we basically lead very separate lives. Suddenly, the responsibility as an elder sister has diminished as the younger one has also learned how to lead her life. And that's when positions in family matters no more & "friendship" may take over. Somehow, it does warms me when I know that when she is in trouble, she calls me first. Haaaa... Hopefully no more next time though.

A glimpse

Ahem, I was kinda questioned why I haven't been blogging & posting pictures lately. For several reasons la... The very main reason is, of late, I am very lazy to sit in front of my PC at home after working hours. If I were to be at my PC, I would probably spend time emailing a friend who's overseas.

Anyhow, a glimpse of what has been happening over the past 2 months.

An overnight cycling trip with church friends. The cat did not follow us on the trip but I thought he/she look very very cute! He was looking intently at something. After which, we found out that a bird was being "arrowed" for its next meal. I love the pic of Noel sleeping. I was just so afraid that he may fall over.


A gathering held at my colleague's house. She cooked one of the BEST BeeHoon Briyani & gado-gado. I was SO full at the end of the day. Spent the whole afternoon playing this game called Mafia. Hmmm... One day, introduce it to CG/Unit. Guess who's my boss? Hee..


A trip to Sultan Shoal Lighthouse with Jerliyn & Nelson. A very privileged visit there. =)

This is THE most important photo of all! THE most most MOST precious photo of all! The ONLY 3 photos taken. My best friend & me. I love you my dearest. Happy birthday.