Ever had a tugging session with God? I had one today.
I literally battled with God from the time I stepped out of my house to the time I stepped back to my house.
I started with anger. Then it went on to anxiety. Then it went on to feeling pain. Then, I calmed down. Then I battle. Then I let go.
In all the tuggings and pulling the rope, it felt real painful. First, my hands were hurt. At the end of it, blisters were all over. But I felt that I couldn't let go of the rope because I was very afraid that the fall will be painful! God kept telling me "Let go! I will catch you when you fall!".
At the end, I decided to let go of the rope but the fall wasn't painful. Because God was there. Hmm.. Throughout the whole process, I seem to have cushion all over me.
Jesus says "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me."
Thursday, June 29, 2006
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Kawan Go Melaka Part II
Part II of Kawan Go Melaka (the theme of my church camp) is not exactly about the camp but about friendships made.
Friendships that was slapped all over the walls in the ballroom can be seen from Tiger's blog which will link to here. (Sorry ah Tiger! I "stole" it off you with your permission!) The poster I liked most is "There can be no friendship without confidence and no confidence without integrity - Samuel Johnson".
I grew up as a very insecure girl. From Primary school all the way to Secondary school, I always have problem with friends. In Primary school, with all my human might, I tried to please others so that I could be accepted. In Secondary school, I did it too. No matter how I try, it's like I can never gain the acceptance of friends. (However, God knows the limit that I can bear thus in every stage of my life, I always have a group of very very good friends)
However, as the bible say (and I paraphrased) "Know the truth and the truth will set you free". Over the years, I keep claiming unto the promises of God that in Him, we are confident. In Him, I am secured. In Him, I have victory.
Slowly, I grew to be a friend, trust a friend, love a friend and be confident in the friendship. I remember Ps Jeff's sermon very CLEARLY during the first teaching in the camp is to put our heart at where our mouth is. To say what we mean and mean what we say. That in every friendship, there is love and with that, we are running the risk of getting hurt. Hurt is painful. Like a baby learning to walk, he falls in the process of it. But the fall is necessary for growth. Likewise in friendship, I learn through the many falls in my life.
Even as I type, I know I am still learning how to be a friend. Integrity. Faithfulness. Honesty. How difficult is that really when you really think about it? I've learnt, along the way, to leave my friendships to God.
To quote Ps Jeff "How much we love our friends shows how much we love God."
I've decided not to write too much about my holiday after church camp. Too much memories that's inplanted in my brain. Honestly, I want to write about it. However, it's too hard to write.
In conclusion, the trip away in Malaysia helped me to (1) Spiritual Retreat (2) Make new friends (3) Renew existing friendships (4) Build stronger relationships within CG and Unit (5) Relax
Friendships that was slapped all over the walls in the ballroom can be seen from Tiger's blog which will link to here. (Sorry ah Tiger! I "stole" it off you with your permission!) The poster I liked most is "There can be no friendship without confidence and no confidence without integrity - Samuel Johnson".
I grew up as a very insecure girl. From Primary school all the way to Secondary school, I always have problem with friends. In Primary school, with all my human might, I tried to please others so that I could be accepted. In Secondary school, I did it too. No matter how I try, it's like I can never gain the acceptance of friends. (However, God knows the limit that I can bear thus in every stage of my life, I always have a group of very very good friends)
However, as the bible say (and I paraphrased) "Know the truth and the truth will set you free". Over the years, I keep claiming unto the promises of God that in Him, we are confident. In Him, I am secured. In Him, I have victory.
Slowly, I grew to be a friend, trust a friend, love a friend and be confident in the friendship. I remember Ps Jeff's sermon very CLEARLY during the first teaching in the camp is to put our heart at where our mouth is. To say what we mean and mean what we say. That in every friendship, there is love and with that, we are running the risk of getting hurt. Hurt is painful. Like a baby learning to walk, he falls in the process of it. But the fall is necessary for growth. Likewise in friendship, I learn through the many falls in my life.
Even as I type, I know I am still learning how to be a friend. Integrity. Faithfulness. Honesty. How difficult is that really when you really think about it? I've learnt, along the way, to leave my friendships to God.
To quote Ps Jeff "How much we love our friends shows how much we love God."
I've decided not to write too much about my holiday after church camp. Too much memories that's inplanted in my brain. Honestly, I want to write about it. However, it's too hard to write.
In conclusion, the trip away in Malaysia helped me to (1) Spiritual Retreat (2) Make new friends (3) Renew existing friendships (4) Build stronger relationships within CG and Unit (5) Relax
Monday, June 26, 2006
I am missing Ubin
Went to Ubin beginning of June and I am already missing it. I am hoping to go back again. The nature, the silence, the simplicity (though the coconut is SUPER ex) is drawing me BACK there again!
I tried to join 4 photos together to get the paranomic view. Hopefully it looked good enough.. =)
I tried to join 4 photos together to get the paranomic view. Hopefully it looked good enough.. =)
Saturday, June 24, 2006
Community Care
After yesterday's session of Community Care at Punggol Primary School, I came home looking through my involvement in Comm Care over the past few years. As I reminisce, I also realize how much things have improved with learned mistakes (at least for me). Just a few photos to walk through the past 3 years..
This is an Unit Comm Care to primary school going children in 10 Sep 2003 through an act of the cruxification of Christ. Haa.. I almost can't remember that Rachel and Michael used to me in the same Unit as me! How time flies..
Yup! Yet another Joy Factory outreach to very young children on 19 Jun 2004. Hee.. It was held at ITE. Ironically, I do not have photos of my CG. We set up 2 stalls - Henna Drawing and Body Art.
This is an Unit level comm care outreach together with Care Community Services Society on 28 Aug 2004. For this event, the theme was "I can do it!". We taught the kids on how to make a kite from scratch. We broke into small groups and we had facilitators to help the children. I remember some of them wanting to give up but we kept urging them to keep it up! At the end of it, they really had fun flying the kite that they made! Something that's personalized is valuable.
25 Sep 2004.. This is a great challenge! Rememeber that the boys were really rowdy and as a games master, my friend and I really had quite a tough time trying to keep them engaged. The theme was "Teamwork and Unity". Coming up with the games was easy, executing it was hard. Facilitating the group teaching them values is even harder! At the end of this session, when I reflected, I felt that when one is alone, he is weak. But when one chooses to work together in a team, the result is powerful!
Yup.. This is Joy Factory Outreach at Covenent FSC on 25 June 2005. Heee.. That's me doing body art aka face painting. I had quite alot of fun doing it - taking a break from henna drawing. Hmm.. When I was there, I recalled this particular kid (the one that I was drawing her face) came up to me and said a small "thank you". After one whole afternoon, I must say that soft voice of her warmed my heart totally.
Joy Factory Outreach at Hougang on 15 Oct 2005. This was held at the public multi-purpose hall in between two HDB buildings. For this event, I can't quite remember the kids that came but I remember that we had a VIP!! Hmm.. I can't remember who was it though but it was a MP!! Hee...
Right.. Finally I've reached year 2006! This was my CG at Zann's house watching a cartoon - Robots. Our intention was to use this cartoon to share values to the students from Punggol Primary School.
A view of the school. Before the event started, my friends and I were in awe at how beautiful schools are now.
Hmm... In all honesty, after 3 years of Comm Care, I felt that yesterday's event THE event that left me feeling totally... (what's that word?)... Ecstatic! =) I could finally feel that we left behind values that the students can bring home. They left feeling happy. They left having fun! And as "Aunty" and "Uncle", we had GREAT fun too! If I can speak for the rest, we REALLY had a great time interacting with the kids. And amazingly, they responded! We played a game that I learnt at work (heehee..), then we had a telematch, and a movie that I tried to instill values, we sang "I believe I can fly" with sign language. It was enjoyable watching them learn the new language. The students competed against each other to see whose paper aeroplane flew the furthest. We ended off with having their palm with water-colour pressed on paper topping it off with a polaroid photo.
And oh ya.. Guess what? My CG didn't know that their school uniform was yellow and blue, my CG arranged for us all to wear YELLOW!! When I was MCing, I couldn't differentiate my CG members from the students!!!
All righty.. Time to reflect on today's service.
This is an Unit Comm Care to primary school going children in 10 Sep 2003 through an act of the cruxification of Christ. Haa.. I almost can't remember that Rachel and Michael used to me in the same Unit as me! How time flies..
Yup! Yet another Joy Factory outreach to very young children on 19 Jun 2004. Hee.. It was held at ITE. Ironically, I do not have photos of my CG. We set up 2 stalls - Henna Drawing and Body Art.
This is an Unit level comm care outreach together with Care Community Services Society on 28 Aug 2004. For this event, the theme was "I can do it!". We taught the kids on how to make a kite from scratch. We broke into small groups and we had facilitators to help the children. I remember some of them wanting to give up but we kept urging them to keep it up! At the end of it, they really had fun flying the kite that they made! Something that's personalized is valuable.
25 Sep 2004.. This is a great challenge! Rememeber that the boys were really rowdy and as a games master, my friend and I really had quite a tough time trying to keep them engaged. The theme was "Teamwork and Unity". Coming up with the games was easy, executing it was hard. Facilitating the group teaching them values is even harder! At the end of this session, when I reflected, I felt that when one is alone, he is weak. But when one chooses to work together in a team, the result is powerful!
Yup.. This is Joy Factory Outreach at Covenent FSC on 25 June 2005. Heee.. That's me doing body art aka face painting. I had quite alot of fun doing it - taking a break from henna drawing. Hmm.. When I was there, I recalled this particular kid (the one that I was drawing her face) came up to me and said a small "thank you". After one whole afternoon, I must say that soft voice of her warmed my heart totally.
Joy Factory Outreach at Hougang on 15 Oct 2005. This was held at the public multi-purpose hall in between two HDB buildings. For this event, I can't quite remember the kids that came but I remember that we had a VIP!! Hmm.. I can't remember who was it though but it was a MP!! Hee...
Right.. Finally I've reached year 2006! This was my CG at Zann's house watching a cartoon - Robots. Our intention was to use this cartoon to share values to the students from Punggol Primary School.
A view of the school. Before the event started, my friends and I were in awe at how beautiful schools are now.
Hmm... In all honesty, after 3 years of Comm Care, I felt that yesterday's event THE event that left me feeling totally... (what's that word?)... Ecstatic! =) I could finally feel that we left behind values that the students can bring home. They left feeling happy. They left having fun! And as "Aunty" and "Uncle", we had GREAT fun too! If I can speak for the rest, we REALLY had a great time interacting with the kids. And amazingly, they responded! We played a game that I learnt at work (heehee..), then we had a telematch, and a movie that I tried to instill values, we sang "I believe I can fly" with sign language. It was enjoyable watching them learn the new language. The students competed against each other to see whose paper aeroplane flew the furthest. We ended off with having their palm with water-colour pressed on paper topping it off with a polaroid photo.
And oh ya.. Guess what? My CG didn't know that their school uniform was yellow and blue, my CG arranged for us all to wear YELLOW!! When I was MCing, I couldn't differentiate my CG members from the students!!!
All righty.. Time to reflect on today's service.
Friday, June 23, 2006
Time Flies!
Chorus
Your grace is sufficient for me
Your strenth is made perfect
When I am weak
All that I cling to I lay at Your feet
Your grace is sufficient for me
I'm no longer striving to merit Your love
I rest in Your promise to me
That all of my sins have been
Washed in Your blood
Your mercy is all that I need
(Chorus)
You see my as righteous
Because of the blood
That made the atonement for me
Your mercy has triumphed
Where I should be judged
So now, by your grace, I am free
(Chorus)
2 to 3 weeks ago, my colleague taught me this song and thereafter, it always ring in my head each time I feel weak.
I returned from church camp only last week but I feel that it's so distant to me now. Not that the things that I learnt is distant but rather I am wondering how come time flies!!! I can't believe that today is already Friday when yesterday only feels like Monday.
Your grace is sufficient for me
Your strenth is made perfect
When I am weak
All that I cling to I lay at Your feet
Your grace is sufficient for me
I'm no longer striving to merit Your love
I rest in Your promise to me
That all of my sins have been
Washed in Your blood
Your mercy is all that I need
(Chorus)
You see my as righteous
Because of the blood
That made the atonement for me
Your mercy has triumphed
Where I should be judged
So now, by your grace, I am free
(Chorus)
2 to 3 weeks ago, my colleague taught me this song and thereafter, it always ring in my head each time I feel weak.
I returned from church camp only last week but I feel that it's so distant to me now. Not that the things that I learnt is distant but rather I am wondering how come time flies!!! I can't believe that today is already Friday when yesterday only feels like Monday.
Prophesies
As I am asking all the "Whys" in my life (I have never asked so many Whys before!), I chanced upon a piece of paper from my journal. And I am very comforted. It's a piece of paper where my prophesies were written on it last year.
After a whole day of happening events, coming home to my room, writing my journal, reading a book and spending time with God is quite a therepeutic way of winding down the day.
Romans 12:9
"Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good."
1) The Lord is the perfector of your faith. He will finish what He wants to do for you.
2) The Lord will strengthen you and He will not be impatient with you but will always be with you.
3) You are a child of God and He has prepared an inheritance for you. You will receive the full rights of the son and no longer need to wonder or search for He has already given to you.
4) A vision of a rope. He will provide strength and support to help others to fulfill their purpose. A support role for the Kingdom of God. It was further illustrated with a swing.. The rope that was envisioned was that which is used by the swing. That without the rope, the swing is useless.
5) You are chosen by Him to be a royal priesthood. Even at times when you are wondering why accusations are against you, but live a good testimony. God will bring you through. Sharing the light to the people around you. Continue to be strengthened by the Lord to minister to your family.
After a whole day of happening events, coming home to my room, writing my journal, reading a book and spending time with God is quite a therepeutic way of winding down the day.
Romans 12:9
"Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good."
Monday, June 19, 2006
Beyond Parental Control
For weeks, I have been wondering - What will drive a parent to file for a BPC (Beyond Parental Control) against their own kids. SOMETHING must REALLY have driven a parent to send their child to a gazetted home. Now, I am still wondering and to take it a step further, I am wondering if they know the implications of a BPC.
As a Community Worker, I begin to wonder too - Have I done enough to prevent this order from happening? What could have been done better?
Night fall and it's usually in the still of the night that I start to get in touch with thoughts that I can't afford to have during the day.
Time to unwind...
As a Community Worker, I begin to wonder too - Have I done enough to prevent this order from happening? What could have been done better?
Night fall and it's usually in the still of the night that I start to get in touch with thoughts that I can't afford to have during the day.
Time to unwind...
Saturday, June 17, 2006
I made an apple tree!
I made an apple tree for HopeKids!!! And I am waiting for the kids to put up the apples on it!
Hee.. When I received this mini "project", I was like thinking - No way I can do it. Praise God, nothing is quite impossible.
Well, an update from yesterday's upheaval. I apologised to my dad. MAN!! That was TOUGH! I asked myself if I have to do it. Somehow, God reminded me to honor my parents. On one hand, I felt really quite unjustified. Yet, on the other hand, I really do feel bad for shouting.
So, today, I went to work, I made a tree, said a sorry and I ended my evening with a good friend over Bak Kut Teh at Joo Chiat.. Gosh..The soup WAS good!! The fellowship was better!
Hee.. When I received this mini "project", I was like thinking - No way I can do it. Praise God, nothing is quite impossible.
Well, an update from yesterday's upheaval. I apologised to my dad. MAN!! That was TOUGH! I asked myself if I have to do it. Somehow, God reminded me to honor my parents. On one hand, I felt really quite unjustified. Yet, on the other hand, I really do feel bad for shouting.
So, today, I went to work, I made a tree, said a sorry and I ended my evening with a good friend over Bak Kut Teh at Joo Chiat.. Gosh..The soup WAS good!! The fellowship was better!
Attack!
I came home and I just poured tears. I guess I was just too emotionally stretched.
For the first time in my life, I stepped into the family court. For the first time in my life, I stepped into the police post. I managed to keep my cool the whole day. Yet, throughout the day, there were lots and LOTS of questions that ran through my head. Lots of "Why?", lots of uncertainty, lots of feelings that I hate to have.
A pic that I took outside the Family Court since it was my first time there. I went in with a heavy heart. I left with a heavier heart..Haha..
I spent my evening meeting a good friend for dinner. It was a GREAT dinner cause I had an avenue of letting off my emotions. What makes a good friend is one who is willing to listen to my crap though it may simply seem alien. Then we went for a short shopping trip. I am amazed that by 2059hrs, shutters go crashing down already. Then wow.. we went for a great expedition! First, we went to Nexus (church) and took about 10 mins before I could get to the Gents. [Ok.. The Gents now is a small storeroom for a huge compressed styrofoam boards] Well, apparently, the boards weren't put properly and it was found lying on the floor! Now.. how did we found it lying? Because we can't open the door!!!!!! It was a great feat that 2 gals performed with 2 poles and one small knife trying to lift the VERY heavy boards up with just a 20cm opening. Anyway, thanks to my friend's smart thinking, it was up in half an hour's time! *Phew* And hee.. I got a lift home.
Well, getting home was really quite a dread. In the midst of us finding the way to Nexus, my sister smsed me warning me that my dad is angry about something. Awhile later, my mum call me to warn me too. And in all honesty, I felt that the issue was really small but was kicked big. And so, on my way home, I was trying to RELAX and prepare myself. Truth be told, I had a bad night. Hmm.. I sort of shouted at my dad about leaving me alone just for tonight. As quick as my temper flared, I was quicken to regret too. I felt really bad. In the end, I just cried. Man.. It was an emotional day. It's times like these [thank God it's REALLY once in a blue moon!] that I thank God that above all else, I have God to turn to. I blasted my P&W music and I decided to pray and sing. I feel better now after 2 hrs. [I will think of how to apologise to my dad tomorrow *cross my fingers*]
Looking back at my day, I felt that God was with me throughout. Everything seemed to have a purpose. I wasn't supposed to meet my friend. I was supposed to be in Nexus alone, grab the styrofoam board and just go. However, I start to wonder - What will happen if my friend is NOT around? I would NOT be able to get the board and I am serious that it's really hard. And after 6 months of work, there have been many times that I feel like crying OUT LOUD yet there's tears but just can't cry. So I felt that, though it may not be for the correct purpose tonight but I felt real good crying out loud to God for a LONG time! I know God is really training me and stretching me and I want to choose to give thanks. OOH! Best of all! After the cry, I was SO hungry!! Man! My stomach growled yet I don't feel like stepping out of my room. Thankfully, I had a packet of biscuits that my friend bought for me to bring to my work. Well, it was prematuredly opened.
Well, in good times and in bad times, it just feels good praising the Lord!
It's a beautiful day in 7 hours time!!
A pic that was sent to encourage me.. To remind me of church camp that was just over. At the same time, I just remember His vast love for me. Love the sea..
For the first time in my life, I stepped into the family court. For the first time in my life, I stepped into the police post. I managed to keep my cool the whole day. Yet, throughout the day, there were lots and LOTS of questions that ran through my head. Lots of "Why?", lots of uncertainty, lots of feelings that I hate to have.
A pic that I took outside the Family Court since it was my first time there. I went in with a heavy heart. I left with a heavier heart..Haha..
I spent my evening meeting a good friend for dinner. It was a GREAT dinner cause I had an avenue of letting off my emotions. What makes a good friend is one who is willing to listen to my crap though it may simply seem alien. Then we went for a short shopping trip. I am amazed that by 2059hrs, shutters go crashing down already. Then wow.. we went for a great expedition! First, we went to Nexus (church) and took about 10 mins before I could get to the Gents. [Ok.. The Gents now is a small storeroom for a huge compressed styrofoam boards] Well, apparently, the boards weren't put properly and it was found lying on the floor! Now.. how did we found it lying? Because we can't open the door!!!!!! It was a great feat that 2 gals performed with 2 poles and one small knife trying to lift the VERY heavy boards up with just a 20cm opening. Anyway, thanks to my friend's smart thinking, it was up in half an hour's time! *Phew* And hee.. I got a lift home.
Well, getting home was really quite a dread. In the midst of us finding the way to Nexus, my sister smsed me warning me that my dad is angry about something. Awhile later, my mum call me to warn me too. And in all honesty, I felt that the issue was really small but was kicked big. And so, on my way home, I was trying to RELAX and prepare myself. Truth be told, I had a bad night. Hmm.. I sort of shouted at my dad about leaving me alone just for tonight. As quick as my temper flared, I was quicken to regret too. I felt really bad. In the end, I just cried. Man.. It was an emotional day. It's times like these [thank God it's REALLY once in a blue moon!] that I thank God that above all else, I have God to turn to. I blasted my P&W music and I decided to pray and sing. I feel better now after 2 hrs. [I will think of how to apologise to my dad tomorrow *cross my fingers*]
Looking back at my day, I felt that God was with me throughout. Everything seemed to have a purpose. I wasn't supposed to meet my friend. I was supposed to be in Nexus alone, grab the styrofoam board and just go. However, I start to wonder - What will happen if my friend is NOT around? I would NOT be able to get the board and I am serious that it's really hard. And after 6 months of work, there have been many times that I feel like crying OUT LOUD yet there's tears but just can't cry. So I felt that, though it may not be for the correct purpose tonight but I felt real good crying out loud to God for a LONG time! I know God is really training me and stretching me and I want to choose to give thanks. OOH! Best of all! After the cry, I was SO hungry!! Man! My stomach growled yet I don't feel like stepping out of my room. Thankfully, I had a packet of biscuits that my friend bought for me to bring to my work. Well, it was prematuredly opened.
Well, in good times and in bad times, it just feels good praising the Lord!
It's a beautiful day in 7 hours time!!
A pic that was sent to encourage me.. To remind me of church camp that was just over. At the same time, I just remember His vast love for me. Love the sea..
Friday, June 16, 2006
Decision making
This is gonna be a short blog cause I can't write too much in details.
Today, I am STUCK in a situation where a decision HAS to be made. Suddenly, I realised that I may just have the power to influence someone and that scares me. Actually, I had it easy already. Cause I was back only after all decisions were made. However, when I know that I have that power of influence, and when my opinion was asked, I really hesitated. I was SO "afraid", in a sense, to share! It scares me really. I have never been in a position that could possibly change the lives of a person. (How ironic cause isn't that what Social Work is all about?)
Anyway, I really won't go into the details. Meanwhile, nights!! Will be blogging on my extended trip soon...
Today, I am STUCK in a situation where a decision HAS to be made. Suddenly, I realised that I may just have the power to influence someone and that scares me. Actually, I had it easy already. Cause I was back only after all decisions were made. However, when I know that I have that power of influence, and when my opinion was asked, I really hesitated. I was SO "afraid", in a sense, to share! It scares me really. I have never been in a position that could possibly change the lives of a person. (How ironic cause isn't that what Social Work is all about?)
Anyway, I really won't go into the details. Meanwhile, nights!! Will be blogging on my extended trip soon...
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Miss me?
Haa... Missed me? Long time no blog! Well, at least, for me, it was fantastic news that I didn't blog because I am away for a better purpose - Church camp and holiday! I am thinking, I better blog today. It will be a long one cause I dun intend to do it in parts. For one, I am afraid that my memory will get hazy as time goes by. Heehee... For another, I will be real busy after today. Hee..
Everything started out on the 7th of June. That night was a hectic night! I was rushing through my work, reports and stuff then I rushed back home to meet my ex-colleague to pass her a gift. Then I went back home and had dinner. I took some time to teach my mum something on my PC and I did something for my sister. By the time everything was pretty much done, it was already 11pm. Start packing my backpack and went to sleep. Couldn't really sleep though cause I was too excited about the holiday to come! Well, nonetheless, my tired body gave up and I fell asleep about 3am. Woke up at 5am instead of 6am (too excited) and then got ready!
Jan came to pick me up (in a cab) and we went to pick Noel up and we went to Newton Carpark. Boy was it a place filled with excitement! Everyone was catching up with everyone before getting up the buses. CLs were looking for their members. Shepherds looking for the sheeps. Kawan looking for their Kawans. People were making calls, waving real hard to another person, hugging and filling up the white cards.
I really don't know the other buses but the bus that I am on, my Unit was really noisy! First, we (my CG) had 爱心早餐 that was made my Yanling. Oh man!! It was SO yummylicious that I can still taste that cheese in my mouth now. Then, we chatted. I read a book and awhile later, I fell asleep. Ok.. the bus was still quiet then. But, after we reached YongPeng, we drank & ate and refreshed.. And when we got up the bus, Yanz took out her guitar and we had a good time affirming our CLs & UL through a song (Er.. I forgot what song though!!!)
We were brought to Mahkota Shopping centre for our lunch. At the same time, we gotta get a gift for our secret pal!! (Well, each of us were assigned one secret pal to bless during this church camp) We only had an hour. We rushed to KFC, we rushed to eat and we rushed to get a gift for our pal. At the same time, some tried to slot in some personal shopping too.. hee.. I had a good time of chatting with my bus buddy, Caren, on the bus. We shared about our current life and things we believe in. I shared a little about past regrets too. But on retrospect, I am glad that regret or no regret, God works for the best of His people! We fall but we learn to pick ourselves up. When we arrived at Riviera Bay Hotel at about 3pm, I was so touched, yet again, by the decor that was put up. They literally turned the whole place into a relaxed theme - Kawan Go Melaka. THEN, we had a small little surprise for Noel as a whole Unit to officially welcome this 3 month old baby into our group. Personally, having Noel as a new baby in my CG has been MOST delightful and it is even more encouraging to see the fact that he attends CG regularly and even by coming to the church camp has shown me how great our God is!
We got our keys, went to the room and guessed what? My dear "apartment-mate" refused to let entry to me and my room-mate cause she wants the better room!!! (This apartment has two bedrooms) Haha!! But nonetheless, I must say, the apartment I was in was very nice. It has a perfect (to me) sea view and to top it off, I had very good apartment/room mates. Zann commented that my apartment is very homely. The four of us will sit at the living room, have a drink and we will start to chit-chat. I had the privilege to bunk with Xiaowen, Gloria and Lyan. Honestly speaking, before I went for the camp, I was wondering - How to break the ice? What to chat about? But when we were put together, we just had fun! I had so much fun and it was a great opportunity to get to know people from my Unit. See ah.. How much can we know someone through Sunday Service and Unit meetings? It's really when we stay together and see each other for 4 days do we learn a little more about each other! Anyway, we rested for about an hour and at about 5pm, we went down to have our final rehearsal on the "3 little pigs"!
The "3 little pigs" was one that was filled with laughter. The story line was pretty much the same as what we read when we were young but what made it creative was the fact that we had stage props and a slight change to the ending - the wolf huffed and puffed because he has his dentures stuck in his throat!! Humans became trees and stones. At the same time, we had the "Sound team" too. The actors act without using their own voices. There was a voiceover for them. For me, I was the "sound" of the wolf when he huffed and puffed. Together with me was Daniel who was the voice of the wolf. We had the 3 little pigs who went in their sweetest voice "Not by my hair of my chimney chin chin" and we had stones & plastic bags & sticks to depict the sound of the brick, wood and straw house that the pigs will build. Ah.. Now, not forgetting the actors who acted the wolf, the pigs, the Master and the houses. Well, no words can actually describe how I felt honest. It's like, there are 3 units that came together to do up this play. It spoke to me volumes about unity for a common purpose. It sort of "forced" me to step out of my comfort zone too. I am not quite a person who likes to be in front at the stage though not on stage. Haa.. I remember during the first rehearsal when I was the voiceover, I laughed and laughed and laughed. Just some photos of the rehearsal and on the day of performance itself. Oh ya.. We were awarded the Runner Up.. I must say though, Vivienne did a VERY good job directing us. She was so nervous that before our turn to be up on stage, she had her last minute gushes of nervousness but I am so glad that she was there to encourage us all!
In this camp, my Unit were mixed up. The members in the 3 CGs were all mixed up and for me, I had a part-time CG. I was really welcoming the idea - Not that I don't like my own CG ah!! But I thought it was really a fabulous idea to really get to know other CLs and other Unit mates. We came together every morning for QT and you know la.. When we share about God's word, we get into the lives of people and I guess, that's what doing life is all about! During one of the QT sesson, I got to know my apartment-mate, Lyan, a little more as we come together to share God's word and pray for one another. I have come to appreciate the idiom that says "Never judge a book by its cover". I think it's really true. Getting to know someone by first impression is never enough.
Oh ya.. On the 2nd day morning, after QT, it was workshop time! For me, I went for Creative Caregroup and boy! Chris shocked (or rather, surprised) me with his new outfit! Without a doubt, I knew I was in the workshop already. Together with him was 2 others. When we stepped in, I smelt the incense, I could hear the music and I saw that the room was done up with NOTHING but food on the floor. Jorry and another gal (didn't catch her name) was right in front of the room "worshipping". In the later part of the workshop, we played games. One thing that striked me most was that humour and fun can be injected into CGs setting. We gotta know our identity in Christ and be secure in it. God is a creative God and He has made us in His image. So ain't we a creative bunch of children? I learned, too, that it's ok to be funny. It's ok to laugh at myself. It's ok to be embarrassed sometimes. I think this issue of culture where face plays a big role can sometimes be a hinderance! Something that caught me - The facilitators said this: Play on the 5 senses of the group. The reason why we were astonished by the whole make up of the workshop was that it touched base on our 5 senses.
Not that the 2nd workshop wasn't good. It's just that, I didn't bring my camera along to take photos of that workshop! Hee.. But, I attended the workshop called Discipleship in the Postmodern world. I discovered that there is a difference between Shepherding and Discipleship. Discipleship is making another "Me". Shepherding is taking care of someone & doing life together. Hmm.. However, there ARE elements of Shepherding in Discipleship. That's so true. How to disciple someone whom you have no relationship with? Through this workshop, I felt the need to build very very very strong relationship with my sheep. Which is still work in progress. Relationship building is usually not as easy as ABC but I am resoluted to.
On the 3rd day, we had Aloha night for dinner!! Heee.. as usual, it was photo-taking session! Everyone looked so beautiful and handsome. Can't help it but to snap snap snap away. Hee.. This year's camp was a little more relaxing. We had the time to relax and well, gals being gals, we went photo taking in between lunch and teaching.
What captured me was after Aloha night, there were the leaders showcase! Boy oh boy! The leaders amazed me. Despite their busy schedules, they still set aside time to perform for us. Tears just drop. Knowing the fact that leaders are only just humans. But they are humans appointed by God to have a spiritual authority over us. I just felt - Man! It must have been tough on them. I salute them cause I felt that it really isn't easy to care for a Unit/SubDistric/District. Their heart capacity is BIG. At this point, I really want to also affirm my UL and the CLs in my CG who, though tired, still unrelentlessly arranged programs for us. I guess.. Many times, we hardly see the background work that was done and for me, one thing I took home with me was that I want to affirm the work that the leaders have done for us, if not, for me. After which, there was the extended worship and Ps Jeff spoke on Releasing Forgiveness. My mind wandered to people whom I know and doesn't know God. They seemed lost and angered easily. Some vent it out by hitting themselves and some just hit others. I wonder - How nice and how good it is if they were to know God. Isn't releasing forgiveness the better way to handle anger than not? God is indeed good.
At our Unit wind down, we had a few hearts bared out to us and as a member in my Unit, I am glad to be under the authority of my leaders. And I am convicted that, as an armour bearer, I will serve God alongside with them. Disappointments may get in the way but isn't disappointments part and parcel of life? I am proud to be part of my CG and Unit. I am glad that God is still moulding us into the child/ren that He wants us to be.
This year's camp's theme is Kawan Go Melaka - Friendship, I must say that I am glad to have found friends in this place call Hope. Sharing lives, doing lives together is something that is good! When we are down, our friends in CG and in church will be there to pick us up. When we are up, our friends are there to rejoice with us! I brought home with me friendships that are established, friendships that are stronger, a clearer vision, a stronger conviction. Though there may still be obstacles but I am sure that with God, with friends, nothing is impossible!! Church is indeed about doing lives together. It's about helping one another up when someone is down. It's about being real, being authentic and being honest with integrity. Before I can even demand for a friend, I first have to check myself if I am a friend.
I went to the camp with the objective of relaxing, establishing new friendships and upkeeping with existing ones. At the same time, to pray for God's direction in the area of missions. I had my time of relaxation. I had new friendships established and my existing ones are further affirmed. Though in this whole camp, with the arrangement of the part time CG, I didn't spend as much time with my own CG but I felt closer (somehow) to my CG (Must be the work of the Holy Spirit). I had a good session of outpouring of emotions to my shepherd asking her to pray for me. On the last day, we also had a good time of sharing about what we have learnt in the camp. Though it was a short one, I somehow felt refreshed. Don't know how to explain in words though.
After the church camp, I stayed on in Melacca with my friends. We planned to stay on one more night at Mahkota Hotel then the following day, to go further up to KL for one night. Went to play with Nic.. It was REALLY heartwarming to hear him call my name THOUGH shyly! Each time I see him, somehow, my heart just melts. Someone passed a comment that he is easy to love because he has a very sweet spirit. And I second that. He is REALLY very easy to love.
How I spent the extra night in Malacca is yet another story already! For that, it will be in another blog. For now, this is Kawan Go Melaka for me.
Everything started out on the 7th of June. That night was a hectic night! I was rushing through my work, reports and stuff then I rushed back home to meet my ex-colleague to pass her a gift. Then I went back home and had dinner. I took some time to teach my mum something on my PC and I did something for my sister. By the time everything was pretty much done, it was already 11pm. Start packing my backpack and went to sleep. Couldn't really sleep though cause I was too excited about the holiday to come! Well, nonetheless, my tired body gave up and I fell asleep about 3am. Woke up at 5am instead of 6am (too excited) and then got ready!
Jan came to pick me up (in a cab) and we went to pick Noel up and we went to Newton Carpark. Boy was it a place filled with excitement! Everyone was catching up with everyone before getting up the buses. CLs were looking for their members. Shepherds looking for the sheeps. Kawan looking for their Kawans. People were making calls, waving real hard to another person, hugging and filling up the white cards.
I really don't know the other buses but the bus that I am on, my Unit was really noisy! First, we (my CG) had 爱心早餐 that was made my Yanling. Oh man!! It was SO yummylicious that I can still taste that cheese in my mouth now. Then, we chatted. I read a book and awhile later, I fell asleep. Ok.. the bus was still quiet then. But, after we reached YongPeng, we drank & ate and refreshed.. And when we got up the bus, Yanz took out her guitar and we had a good time affirming our CLs & UL through a song (Er.. I forgot what song though!!!)
We were brought to Mahkota Shopping centre for our lunch. At the same time, we gotta get a gift for our secret pal!! (Well, each of us were assigned one secret pal to bless during this church camp) We only had an hour. We rushed to KFC, we rushed to eat and we rushed to get a gift for our pal. At the same time, some tried to slot in some personal shopping too.. hee.. I had a good time of chatting with my bus buddy, Caren, on the bus. We shared about our current life and things we believe in. I shared a little about past regrets too. But on retrospect, I am glad that regret or no regret, God works for the best of His people! We fall but we learn to pick ourselves up. When we arrived at Riviera Bay Hotel at about 3pm, I was so touched, yet again, by the decor that was put up. They literally turned the whole place into a relaxed theme - Kawan Go Melaka. THEN, we had a small little surprise for Noel as a whole Unit to officially welcome this 3 month old baby into our group. Personally, having Noel as a new baby in my CG has been MOST delightful and it is even more encouraging to see the fact that he attends CG regularly and even by coming to the church camp has shown me how great our God is!
We got our keys, went to the room and guessed what? My dear "apartment-mate" refused to let entry to me and my room-mate cause she wants the better room!!! (This apartment has two bedrooms) Haha!! But nonetheless, I must say, the apartment I was in was very nice. It has a perfect (to me) sea view and to top it off, I had very good apartment/room mates. Zann commented that my apartment is very homely. The four of us will sit at the living room, have a drink and we will start to chit-chat. I had the privilege to bunk with Xiaowen, Gloria and Lyan. Honestly speaking, before I went for the camp, I was wondering - How to break the ice? What to chat about? But when we were put together, we just had fun! I had so much fun and it was a great opportunity to get to know people from my Unit. See ah.. How much can we know someone through Sunday Service and Unit meetings? It's really when we stay together and see each other for 4 days do we learn a little more about each other! Anyway, we rested for about an hour and at about 5pm, we went down to have our final rehearsal on the "3 little pigs"!
The "3 little pigs" was one that was filled with laughter. The story line was pretty much the same as what we read when we were young but what made it creative was the fact that we had stage props and a slight change to the ending - the wolf huffed and puffed because he has his dentures stuck in his throat!! Humans became trees and stones. At the same time, we had the "Sound team" too. The actors act without using their own voices. There was a voiceover for them. For me, I was the "sound" of the wolf when he huffed and puffed. Together with me was Daniel who was the voice of the wolf. We had the 3 little pigs who went in their sweetest voice "Not by my hair of my chimney chin chin" and we had stones & plastic bags & sticks to depict the sound of the brick, wood and straw house that the pigs will build. Ah.. Now, not forgetting the actors who acted the wolf, the pigs, the Master and the houses. Well, no words can actually describe how I felt honest. It's like, there are 3 units that came together to do up this play. It spoke to me volumes about unity for a common purpose. It sort of "forced" me to step out of my comfort zone too. I am not quite a person who likes to be in front at the stage though not on stage. Haa.. I remember during the first rehearsal when I was the voiceover, I laughed and laughed and laughed. Just some photos of the rehearsal and on the day of performance itself. Oh ya.. We were awarded the Runner Up.. I must say though, Vivienne did a VERY good job directing us. She was so nervous that before our turn to be up on stage, she had her last minute gushes of nervousness but I am so glad that she was there to encourage us all!
In this camp, my Unit were mixed up. The members in the 3 CGs were all mixed up and for me, I had a part-time CG. I was really welcoming the idea - Not that I don't like my own CG ah!! But I thought it was really a fabulous idea to really get to know other CLs and other Unit mates. We came together every morning for QT and you know la.. When we share about God's word, we get into the lives of people and I guess, that's what doing life is all about! During one of the QT sesson, I got to know my apartment-mate, Lyan, a little more as we come together to share God's word and pray for one another. I have come to appreciate the idiom that says "Never judge a book by its cover". I think it's really true. Getting to know someone by first impression is never enough.
Oh ya.. On the 2nd day morning, after QT, it was workshop time! For me, I went for Creative Caregroup and boy! Chris shocked (or rather, surprised) me with his new outfit! Without a doubt, I knew I was in the workshop already. Together with him was 2 others. When we stepped in, I smelt the incense, I could hear the music and I saw that the room was done up with NOTHING but food on the floor. Jorry and another gal (didn't catch her name) was right in front of the room "worshipping". In the later part of the workshop, we played games. One thing that striked me most was that humour and fun can be injected into CGs setting. We gotta know our identity in Christ and be secure in it. God is a creative God and He has made us in His image. So ain't we a creative bunch of children? I learned, too, that it's ok to be funny. It's ok to laugh at myself. It's ok to be embarrassed sometimes. I think this issue of culture where face plays a big role can sometimes be a hinderance! Something that caught me - The facilitators said this: Play on the 5 senses of the group. The reason why we were astonished by the whole make up of the workshop was that it touched base on our 5 senses.
Not that the 2nd workshop wasn't good. It's just that, I didn't bring my camera along to take photos of that workshop! Hee.. But, I attended the workshop called Discipleship in the Postmodern world. I discovered that there is a difference between Shepherding and Discipleship. Discipleship is making another "Me". Shepherding is taking care of someone & doing life together. Hmm.. However, there ARE elements of Shepherding in Discipleship. That's so true. How to disciple someone whom you have no relationship with? Through this workshop, I felt the need to build very very very strong relationship with my sheep. Which is still work in progress. Relationship building is usually not as easy as ABC but I am resoluted to.
On the 3rd day, we had Aloha night for dinner!! Heee.. as usual, it was photo-taking session! Everyone looked so beautiful and handsome. Can't help it but to snap snap snap away. Hee.. This year's camp was a little more relaxing. We had the time to relax and well, gals being gals, we went photo taking in between lunch and teaching.
What captured me was after Aloha night, there were the leaders showcase! Boy oh boy! The leaders amazed me. Despite their busy schedules, they still set aside time to perform for us. Tears just drop. Knowing the fact that leaders are only just humans. But they are humans appointed by God to have a spiritual authority over us. I just felt - Man! It must have been tough on them. I salute them cause I felt that it really isn't easy to care for a Unit/SubDistric/District. Their heart capacity is BIG. At this point, I really want to also affirm my UL and the CLs in my CG who, though tired, still unrelentlessly arranged programs for us. I guess.. Many times, we hardly see the background work that was done and for me, one thing I took home with me was that I want to affirm the work that the leaders have done for us, if not, for me. After which, there was the extended worship and Ps Jeff spoke on Releasing Forgiveness. My mind wandered to people whom I know and doesn't know God. They seemed lost and angered easily. Some vent it out by hitting themselves and some just hit others. I wonder - How nice and how good it is if they were to know God. Isn't releasing forgiveness the better way to handle anger than not? God is indeed good.
At our Unit wind down, we had a few hearts bared out to us and as a member in my Unit, I am glad to be under the authority of my leaders. And I am convicted that, as an armour bearer, I will serve God alongside with them. Disappointments may get in the way but isn't disappointments part and parcel of life? I am proud to be part of my CG and Unit. I am glad that God is still moulding us into the child/ren that He wants us to be.
This year's camp's theme is Kawan Go Melaka - Friendship, I must say that I am glad to have found friends in this place call Hope. Sharing lives, doing lives together is something that is good! When we are down, our friends in CG and in church will be there to pick us up. When we are up, our friends are there to rejoice with us! I brought home with me friendships that are established, friendships that are stronger, a clearer vision, a stronger conviction. Though there may still be obstacles but I am sure that with God, with friends, nothing is impossible!! Church is indeed about doing lives together. It's about helping one another up when someone is down. It's about being real, being authentic and being honest with integrity. Before I can even demand for a friend, I first have to check myself if I am a friend.
I went to the camp with the objective of relaxing, establishing new friendships and upkeeping with existing ones. At the same time, to pray for God's direction in the area of missions. I had my time of relaxation. I had new friendships established and my existing ones are further affirmed. Though in this whole camp, with the arrangement of the part time CG, I didn't spend as much time with my own CG but I felt closer (somehow) to my CG (Must be the work of the Holy Spirit). I had a good session of outpouring of emotions to my shepherd asking her to pray for me. On the last day, we also had a good time of sharing about what we have learnt in the camp. Though it was a short one, I somehow felt refreshed. Don't know how to explain in words though.
After the church camp, I stayed on in Melacca with my friends. We planned to stay on one more night at Mahkota Hotel then the following day, to go further up to KL for one night. Went to play with Nic.. It was REALLY heartwarming to hear him call my name THOUGH shyly! Each time I see him, somehow, my heart just melts. Someone passed a comment that he is easy to love because he has a very sweet spirit. And I second that. He is REALLY very easy to love.
How I spent the extra night in Malacca is yet another story already! For that, it will be in another blog. For now, this is Kawan Go Melaka for me.
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Monday & Tuesday blues
I was so overwhelmed by work today that I just broke down in the train. All I could do was to shut my eyes tight and hope my eyes/face ain't too red. Just when I thought "Ok.. I should be transiting well and *bang* suddenly so many issues!"
I ended my day yesterday thinking what a terrible day it was. You know, in the past, I have never known what Monday Blues was since Monday, to me, is just like any other days. But no, yesterday I know, finally, what Monday Blues mean. I felt so so blue yesterday that I came home, lie and bed and just cry and pray. I fell asleep reminding myself that God's grace and mercies are new everyday. It felt good that God heard me. I felt heard.
Today, I woke up feeling real upbeat. Feeling that it's a beautiful day. Yet, at the end of the day, I felt so inadequate. I felt so overwhelmed. Felt something that I just can't explain in words and just feel like crying. (which, ok, I did on the train).
Now, I can't wait for church camp to arrive! (2 more days!) Finally 4 days set aside totally for God! I have been praying that God will give me a word. For these days, I really just want to set things aside and just enjoy the presence and refreshment of friends and God. For now, I am glad that Tuesday is over.
I ended my day yesterday thinking what a terrible day it was. You know, in the past, I have never known what Monday Blues was since Monday, to me, is just like any other days. But no, yesterday I know, finally, what Monday Blues mean. I felt so so blue yesterday that I came home, lie and bed and just cry and pray. I fell asleep reminding myself that God's grace and mercies are new everyday. It felt good that God heard me. I felt heard.
Today, I woke up feeling real upbeat. Feeling that it's a beautiful day. Yet, at the end of the day, I felt so inadequate. I felt so overwhelmed. Felt something that I just can't explain in words and just feel like crying. (which, ok, I did on the train).
Now, I can't wait for church camp to arrive! (2 more days!) Finally 4 days set aside totally for God! I have been praying that God will give me a word. For these days, I really just want to set things aside and just enjoy the presence and refreshment of friends and God. For now, I am glad that Tuesday is over.
Monday, June 05, 2006
A fun-filled Weekend!
I had really a fun-filled weekend!
First, I had my Friday afternoon off and that gave me ample time to have fun with my parents and even my dogs.
And on Saturday, I had a time of my life with my colleagues at Pulau Ubin! Ok.. It's not the first time that I was there but being there with colleagues made it a greater deal for me to be ecstatic. Well, for very simple reason - we are out of the work context and it wasn't easy scheduling an outing based on the tight schedules we are holding onto!! I guess... at the same time, I do believe that friends can be found from a workplace.
By the time we got over to Ubin, it was already 130pm. Rented bikes for a cool $4 whole day (till 6pm only) and off we go cycling! I thought I had forgotten how to ride a bike but no no no... Cycling is like swimming or driving.. Once learnt, never forgotten.
Remembering the last time I went was for a Unit Amazing Race. We cycled around and boy... I remember I was SO exhausted because there were too many slopes! I think I walked 1/2 the journey. I am real glad to say that this time when I was there, I have improved! (At least I feel so) I cycled most of the time!! Haha!! Ok ok.. Gotta admit there are times when I just have to get down and walk up the slope but not as often as 2 years ago. My only conclusion is that all my walks to my home visits and workplace (currently) has helped strengthened my leg muscles.
The first hour and half, we simply circled around trying to find the trail that can lead us to Ubin Quarry. By that time, we were quite exhausted (weather too hot) so we stopped for coconuts! (It's SUPERBLY priced at $1.80. So ex!!) But for the 6 coconuts that we bought, we got one free coconut that was iced. Man! It was "heaven!". WE set off again and this time, we managed to find the quarry trail. Can't cycle so we walked. Reminded me of Bt Timah Nature Reserve. My poor friend twisted her already loose ankle and another friend hit her head due to low branches. But at the end of it, we saw a beautiful quarry. (I am just being very suaku) After the quarry, we were quite satisfied since that was our main purpose. Before we returned the bike, we landed ourselves into a beach area. Though small, we all felt that it was very beautiful and relaxing. Just a few photos from my phone. The rest of the photos are still with my friend..
Thereafter, I went in my dirty and smelly attire to Esplanade to watch my friend's 45mins performance. Am impressed by the acting and expressions of the actors/actoresses. But what made my day was this:
Kids just bring smiles across my face. Haa...
First, I had my Friday afternoon off and that gave me ample time to have fun with my parents and even my dogs.
And on Saturday, I had a time of my life with my colleagues at Pulau Ubin! Ok.. It's not the first time that I was there but being there with colleagues made it a greater deal for me to be ecstatic. Well, for very simple reason - we are out of the work context and it wasn't easy scheduling an outing based on the tight schedules we are holding onto!! I guess... at the same time, I do believe that friends can be found from a workplace.
By the time we got over to Ubin, it was already 130pm. Rented bikes for a cool $4 whole day (till 6pm only) and off we go cycling! I thought I had forgotten how to ride a bike but no no no... Cycling is like swimming or driving.. Once learnt, never forgotten.
Remembering the last time I went was for a Unit Amazing Race. We cycled around and boy... I remember I was SO exhausted because there were too many slopes! I think I walked 1/2 the journey. I am real glad to say that this time when I was there, I have improved! (At least I feel so) I cycled most of the time!! Haha!! Ok ok.. Gotta admit there are times when I just have to get down and walk up the slope but not as often as 2 years ago. My only conclusion is that all my walks to my home visits and workplace (currently) has helped strengthened my leg muscles.
The first hour and half, we simply circled around trying to find the trail that can lead us to Ubin Quarry. By that time, we were quite exhausted (weather too hot) so we stopped for coconuts! (It's SUPERBLY priced at $1.80. So ex!!) But for the 6 coconuts that we bought, we got one free coconut that was iced. Man! It was "heaven!". WE set off again and this time, we managed to find the quarry trail. Can't cycle so we walked. Reminded me of Bt Timah Nature Reserve. My poor friend twisted her already loose ankle and another friend hit her head due to low branches. But at the end of it, we saw a beautiful quarry. (I am just being very suaku) After the quarry, we were quite satisfied since that was our main purpose. Before we returned the bike, we landed ourselves into a beach area. Though small, we all felt that it was very beautiful and relaxing. Just a few photos from my phone. The rest of the photos are still with my friend..
Thereafter, I went in my dirty and smelly attire to Esplanade to watch my friend's 45mins performance. Am impressed by the acting and expressions of the actors/actoresses. But what made my day was this:
Kids just bring smiles across my face. Haa...
Friday, June 02, 2006
An Outing with Daddy
I had a half day off in lieu and I decided to use it today. My dad wanted me to bring him to a workshop to modify our car's petrol tank. Then suddenly in the morning when I was at work, he called me and said that he doesn't want to modify already because when that happens, our warranty will most probably be void if anything does happen to our car.
Ok... SO, with a half day off, what exactly did I do??!!!
Sandra went out shopping with daddy!!! Ok.. It's not the first time.. But this time, I just felt that it was different. I guess after having a list of clients at work, I start to become more patient with my own parents. I can't possibly ask my client's children to be patient with their parents and yet I am not. So, first, I bought my dad to Ikea. We walked around Ikea and we met Yung (HopeKids teacher). Sadly, her kids are not around, else, I will introduce all of them to my dad. Haaa... And so, we started to chat about my work, his life at home, my life at church. [It's quite a welcoming conversation that we shared!!] After Ikea, I could sense that daddy doesn't want to go home yet so I suggested bringing him to Parkway Parade. We went shopping and this time, woah.. for the first time in MY life, he shared about his love life with my mum!! Can still remember that smile that flashed across his face - somewhat shy, somewhat reminiscing, somewhat ecstatic. He spoke very wise words today. He said that his face may show that he is fierce but we ought to look into his heart. It's the heart that matters... (How wise..Don't God look at our hearts?)
My relationship with my dad has never been a good one when I was young. I have always thought that he plays favouritsm and for a long period of time, I refuse to speak to him. I hate the words he used on me and when I was young, I internalize a few of the words that he used on me. I also hated the beatings that I had. I ended up half angry and half fearful of him. At the age of 17, I ran away from home but only for a month. When I went overseas for my studies, I have never thought of coming back to Singapore. However, in Oz where I got to know God, I got to know the power of forgiveness. I came back to Singapore and I resoluted to get to know my dad for who he really really is.
Sometimes, it's hard to understand an old man. Sometimes, I feel like giving up. Sometimes, coupled with frustrations, I feel like just going back to my shell. But God has been my strength and of course wisdom. I guess... like what my clients sometimes tell me "If only my children can try to understand me more...".
Conclusion of the day - Seize every moment.
Ok... SO, with a half day off, what exactly did I do??!!!
Sandra went out shopping with daddy!!! Ok.. It's not the first time.. But this time, I just felt that it was different. I guess after having a list of clients at work, I start to become more patient with my own parents. I can't possibly ask my client's children to be patient with their parents and yet I am not. So, first, I bought my dad to Ikea. We walked around Ikea and we met Yung (HopeKids teacher). Sadly, her kids are not around, else, I will introduce all of them to my dad. Haaa... And so, we started to chat about my work, his life at home, my life at church. [It's quite a welcoming conversation that we shared!!] After Ikea, I could sense that daddy doesn't want to go home yet so I suggested bringing him to Parkway Parade. We went shopping and this time, woah.. for the first time in MY life, he shared about his love life with my mum!! Can still remember that smile that flashed across his face - somewhat shy, somewhat reminiscing, somewhat ecstatic. He spoke very wise words today. He said that his face may show that he is fierce but we ought to look into his heart. It's the heart that matters... (How wise..Don't God look at our hearts?)
My relationship with my dad has never been a good one when I was young. I have always thought that he plays favouritsm and for a long period of time, I refuse to speak to him. I hate the words he used on me and when I was young, I internalize a few of the words that he used on me. I also hated the beatings that I had. I ended up half angry and half fearful of him. At the age of 17, I ran away from home but only for a month. When I went overseas for my studies, I have never thought of coming back to Singapore. However, in Oz where I got to know God, I got to know the power of forgiveness. I came back to Singapore and I resoluted to get to know my dad for who he really really is.
Sometimes, it's hard to understand an old man. Sometimes, I feel like giving up. Sometimes, coupled with frustrations, I feel like just going back to my shell. But God has been my strength and of course wisdom. I guess... like what my clients sometimes tell me "If only my children can try to understand me more...".
Conclusion of the day - Seize every moment.
Thursday, June 01, 2006
Beee-zzzzz
Been buzzing around like a bee lately. With church camp coming up next week, I am trying to clear my reports and some other stuffs by 8th June.. I believe many other Hoppies who are going for the camp will be experiencing this too. In fact, some are still living by faith that they can leave on Thursday! Meanwhile, while they live by faith, I will keep them in prayers!
Anyway, today, I had a case discussion. Though it was my colleague who presented, I also felt part of the presentation since I had my leg in that case before (I was taken off for awhile). Well, halfway through, I received an sms from my colleague in my office telling me that my client scolded me an "idiot"! Man.. I was nearly and immediately HOT. I could feel the heat rising and I could even feel alot of injustice. I think I could feel my face turn red. But as fast as heat rise, it cooled down fast too. I figured out that it's pointless. I already know that I have done more than my best. Today, I learned self-control. *grit*
Anyway, towards the end of the day at about 930pm, I was walking from my office to the train station and I walked passed a small field. It was dark but not dark enough. Cause I looked up to the sky and was wondering where are all the stars! Then I realised that there are too many lights in Singapore. Haaa... I miss star gazing.
Anyway, today, I had a case discussion. Though it was my colleague who presented, I also felt part of the presentation since I had my leg in that case before (I was taken off for awhile). Well, halfway through, I received an sms from my colleague in my office telling me that my client scolded me an "idiot"! Man.. I was nearly and immediately HOT. I could feel the heat rising and I could even feel alot of injustice. I think I could feel my face turn red. But as fast as heat rise, it cooled down fast too. I figured out that it's pointless. I already know that I have done more than my best. Today, I learned self-control. *grit*
Anyway, towards the end of the day at about 930pm, I was walking from my office to the train station and I walked passed a small field. It was dark but not dark enough. Cause I looked up to the sky and was wondering where are all the stars! Then I realised that there are too many lights in Singapore. Haaa... I miss star gazing.
Unexpected blog
There will be two post today even though I thought that I do not even want to blog today. However, after 4 hours, I am proud to be the owner of a small chest of drawers made out of corrugated paper. I spent 6 days having the concept in my mind & in that 6 days, I made out the measurements and the "to-do" so as to get what I wanted. AND I had the final product in my mind...
However, when I start doing it, the process was really tough. Making the skeleton was easy. Making the drawers to fit was real tough. After 2 hours of trying and it failed, I started to stare at the skeleton wondering what can I do now to salvage. My constraints were my tiredness and my lack of materials. Haa.. So I took out cloths, ribbons to figure out how to wrap the accessories into the box without hitting one another. After nearly an hour of trying, I decided to re-do the drawers.
When it was done, I had great satisfaction. My friend online asked me - Do you even earn? So much effort yet not much profit. Hmm.. I guess I will still go by my principle - Do it to my ultimate best. Never give up. If I have to give up sleep just to do it, I will.
But before I started on this blog, I remembered the call of Jeremiah. Before he was born and in his mother's womb, God already knew him. Ironically (I am grinning now), when I completed this drawer, the satisfaction that I felt reminded me of this verse. It's like, before this drawer was "born", I already had the final product in my mind and I already have had thought of the steps in doing it.
Tonight, I lay on my bed feeling totally secure that God's hands is upon me. *YAWN*
However, when I start doing it, the process was really tough. Making the skeleton was easy. Making the drawers to fit was real tough. After 2 hours of trying and it failed, I started to stare at the skeleton wondering what can I do now to salvage. My constraints were my tiredness and my lack of materials. Haa.. So I took out cloths, ribbons to figure out how to wrap the accessories into the box without hitting one another. After nearly an hour of trying, I decided to re-do the drawers.
When it was done, I had great satisfaction. My friend online asked me - Do you even earn? So much effort yet not much profit. Hmm.. I guess I will still go by my principle - Do it to my ultimate best. Never give up. If I have to give up sleep just to do it, I will.
But before I started on this blog, I remembered the call of Jeremiah. Before he was born and in his mother's womb, God already knew him. Ironically (I am grinning now), when I completed this drawer, the satisfaction that I felt reminded me of this verse. It's like, before this drawer was "born", I already had the final product in my mind and I already have had thought of the steps in doing it.
Tonight, I lay on my bed feeling totally secure that God's hands is upon me. *YAWN*
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