Lunar New Year

For the past 3 days in Singapore, it was real quiet in the streets. It’s the Lunar New Year celebration for the Chinese. It is a time where family will get together. That’s why, the eve of the LNY, it’s a Reunion day. The LNY stretch for 15 days and that’s when there are visitations of relatives and friends. There’s red packets to collect and if you are married, there’ll be red packets that you give out! (That’s about all I know about the LNY!)

And for the non-Chinese, it was a real good holiday.

This year, there was no relatives-visiting for me due to my grandma’s passing. Honestly, I am happy because it’s really a good time for me to rest and not fuss around with visitations.

Though I didn’t go and visit my relatives, I made sure I didn’t waste my holidays either. I read up my notes and did up my research paper. Gave a deep reflection of my “performance” after my meet up with a client and gave a deep thought on how to improve myself.

Yesterday, I visited my sheep’s family. It was then that I realized that a “Home Visit” is SO important to learn about the dynamics of a family and more importantly, to learn more about my friends. To visit a home, you see how they work, where they sleep, where they eat. It’s nice. I seemed to get to know my sheep even more!

And today, I went to a classmate gathering. It’s like a gathering of existing and budding Social Workers! It was definitely a good way to find support. Having the experience of a SW for 3 days, I have come to understand how emotionally draining and physically stretching it can be. I have even more come to fathom why keeping a close relationship with God is important.

Lunar New Year to me has had its own “evolution”. I remember when I was young, my sister and I were always so eager to dress up looking all red and hair neatly tucked! And two little hands clasp together saying “Gong Xi Fa Cai!” to everyone and wishing hard for a red packet in return. At the end of Day 1, my sister and myself will wait for the “Moment” (i.e. after dinner) to open our red packet and calculate how much “earnings” we’ve gotten. Along the years, the tradition of LNY slowly fades away. Other than the reunion dinner that my family adheres to, we don’t keep much of the things we do anymore.

At the same time, I realized that I am getting old when I start feeling “paiseh” (embarrass) to receive red packet.

LNY to me now has become more of a catching up session with friends. When time is scarce, holidays are REAL gems!!!

Relationships that perfect a workplace

Last day at clinic today finally. Handed over my transponder, staff card, badge, keys, etc.

I was given a wedding invitation card by my “Godmum” for her son’s wedding on Feb 12th. And she kissed me! It was like hugs and kisses happening at Level 2 right smack in the consultation rooms. Promising them if I get married and get pregnant, I will go back to them for antenatal check ups, baby immunizations, etc.

Got a book from one of my staff. She told me that having a “boss” & colleague who’s a Christ believer makes a lot of difference.

Not forgetting a gift from the whole clinic. Man… Never in my life would I have ever thought I will get diamond necklace from anybody other than my mum. And so, when my colleague gave it to me, I asked her “Hey! You guys marrying me off huh?” Hee…! Trying to make jokes out of a solemn situation la... I was holding my tears back really. But when they gave me the handmade card, I think I got a tad teary while reading it. (I LOVE handmade cards)

“May God guidance be with you in all your future undertakings”
“Dear Sandra, God bless & take care”
“Dear Sandra, all the best for your future & stay happy and pretty always (“,)”
“Be joyful always”
“Blessed are they whose ways are blameless,…… Ps 119:1”
“All the best!”
“My dear god daughter, may God bless you.”
“To you”
“Best wishes!”
“Thanks for all helping me with IT. Goodbye and good luck to your new career!”
“Wishing all the best in your future endeavors”
“Forget me not!”
“May you have a great future! God bless you! Phil 2:13”
“May the Lord’s countenance shine upon you always!”
“祝你梦想成真”
“All the best to you in whatever you do! Keep in touch!”



After all that, I had a chat with my colleague. We both agree that our job “sucks” cause there is no job scope and too many reporting heads. But one thing that makes a whole lot of difference is the people.

Again, Relationships is what matters most.

After all the big hoo-ha at work, had a chat with a personal friend. And we started to reminisce how much I have “grown” through this job. He spoke my mind – This job was no longer a job but a ministry. A place where I learn LOTS of skills and a place where I learn more about myself.

Even right now as I am stepping into a new environment, I am re-learning myself again. I am bruising again & I blundder again. But I will keep learning and I will keep the faith!

First Day

First day was a fantastic day!
I love my new working place and love my colleagues!
Well, as usual, I am the shy and quiet one. And AS USUAL, first days are usually the days that you hang around in the office without anything to do.
The office kind of reminds me of my house in Brisbane.
All the working tables in the room are facing the wall and in the middle, it’s an empty space.
And guess what? Yours truly didn’t know where to go so I sat RIGHT SMACK in the middle of the room. Everyone was talking and getting busy but I was just reading up my cases.

I had a 2-hr chat with my boss and he orientated me on the culture, background and what I will be doing.
I love it!

Well, I do foresee, however, that I will be getting busier but I can also foresee that I am very happy.
Least for today, I felt very joyful!

All righty, time to snooze…

Workplace

What will this day be like? I wonder.
What will my future be? I wonder.
It could be so exciting, To be out in the world, To be free!
...
…
What’s so fearsome about that?
Oh, I must stop these doubts,
All these worries.
If I don’t I just know I’ll turn back!
I must dream of the things I am seeking.
…
…

"I have confidence in me", Julie Andrews from Sound of Music

Ah huh! Today, technically, is my last day at this working place. For the past 2 years, I have been dreaming towards fulfilling my first step of being a social worker. Honestly, I still can’t believe it that I am reaching my last lap. Internship starts tomorrow officially and man! I am filled with anxiety, fear and excitement!

The above abstract is part of a song from the Sound of Music. I like what Julie Andrews said in the movie. “Somehow when God closes a door, He opens another.” She said that and then followed by singing this song. In this part of the show, she is moving away from the abbey as a nun to become a governess to take care of 7 children and she is lack of confidence. As she is making her way to the house, she sang this song. She started out fearsome and she ended up brave.

I am not exactly in a situation that I have one door closed on me but from the statement, I gather faith and strength and reliance on the Lord. Personally, my heart is fluttering big time! I am asking the exact same question as Sister Maria in the show. What will tomorrow be like? What will my future be? However, yesterday in my daily devotion, God revealed to me again that He would always be with me, never to leave me nor forsake me. When I am in lack of wisdom, ask for it. Ask and it shall be given. IF only I ask. God brought me back to 1st Nov 2004.

Coming from an engineering background, I never had to deal with the public directly. In all my past jobs, I always deal only with the management, operators, equipment and reports. Often in the workplace, it’s about daily deadlines, line movement, equipment movement, etc. Fast fast FAST!

When I started my job as an operation staff to the public in a polyclinic on 1st Nov 04, I was faced with challenges that I have never dreamed of before. Having to learn new workflow and new system is not an issue to me. But having to deal with the public is something I didn’t prepare myself for. Well, I hate to say this but I came to realize also that dealing with doctors and nurses ain’t easy too. I shan’t elaborate too much on this though. And I came to a point of time where everyday without fail, I will make this simple prayer “Dear God, please give me wisdom and strength to go through today.”

I have cried, been upset by colleagues and public, been shouted at, been railed at, been stepped upon, etc. BUT there is NO denying that God is STILL with me in those times. I can’t thank God enough for a very very good working partner and a very good nurse manager whom I can always look up to. I have very good staffs who even though quarrel amongst themselves, still work very well.

Because of this job, I have also asked myself over and over again – Can I really be a social worker?

Looking back now, I can see how God has been paving the way for me. I am more open to public accusations, complain, compliments, cries, etc. I am more open and am more sensitive to cultural differences. This is the first workplace that I have worked with people of all the 4 races so closely – Chinese, Indian and Malay. I am also more humbled. Indeed, there is always something to learn everyday from my environment and people.

I am assured that when I step into my first day of internship tomorrow, God will supply me with courage, wisdom and strength. Amen!


Actually, I share one office table with my colleague so thus, it is TWICE the mess. I do have my own room but cause of licensing issue, I find it easier to share an office with my colleague.

The Great Chase

Additional post to today :)

I was hurrying away in my clinic today and I heard this very handsome guy passed 2 comments to his friend. He said, “Why must boys chase girls? Why do we fall in love?”

Then, I saw this cartoon strip from BabyBlues.. Love it! Haa!!

Daddy is Driving

Yesterday at CareGroup, a question was posed – To whom are you letting drive the wheel of your car? God? Or yourself?

Reminded me of this article below – Daddy is driving

My ex-shepherd used to tell me – There’s always light even in the tunnel when you thought it’s dark. Don’t let your circumstance bleak your life out. Most importantly, soften your heart and allow God to work.

Daddy Is Driving
Author Unknown

A speaker (Dr. Wan) has once shared his experience:

While his family and he were in Europe, there was once that they need to drive 3 days continuously, day and night, to get to Germany. So, they all got into the car -- he, his wife, and his 3 years old daughter.
His little daughter has never traveled at night before. She was scared the first night in the car, with deep darkness outside.

"Where are we going, Daddy?"
"To your uncle's house, in Germany."

"Have you been to his house before?"
"No."

"Then, do you know the way?"
"Maybe, we can read the map."

Short pause. "Do you know how to read the map?"
"Yes, we will get there safely."

Another pause. "Where are we going to eat if we get hungry before arriving?"
"We can stop by restaurants if we are hungry."

"Do you know if there are restaurants on the way?"
"Yes, there are."

"Do you know where?"
"No, but we will be able to find some."

The same dialogue repeated a few times within the first night, and also the second night. But on the third night, his daughter was quiet. The speaker thought that she might have fallen asleep, but when he looked into the mirror, he saw that she was awake and was just looking around calmly. He couldn't help wondering why she was not asking the questions anymore –

"Dear, do you know where we are going?"
"Daddy, to Germany, Uncle's house."

"Do you know how we are getting there?"
"No."

"Then why aren't you asking anymore?"
"Because Daddy is driving."

Because Daddy is driving. This answer from a 3 years' old girl has then become the strength and help for this speaker for the many years followed whenever he has questions and fears on his journey with the Lord. Yes, our Father is driving. We may know the destination (and sometimes we may just know it like the little girl -- "Germany", without understanding where or what it really is). We do not know the way, we do not know how to read the map, we do not know if we can find restaurants along the way. But the little girl knew the most important thing -- Daddy is driving -- and so she is safe and secure. She knows that her Daddy will provide all that she needs.

Do you know your Daddy, the Great Shepherd, is driving today? What are your behavior and response as a passenger, His child?

You may have asked many questions before, but can you like the little girl, starts to realize the most important focus should be "Daddy is driving?

Of stars and moon

1 week ago, my air-conditioner was cruelly brought away for servicing. I could not sleep well at all! All of a sudden, my door is left ajar and my windows are wide open. Instead of the noisy air-con, it’s replaced by a spoilt fan, which doesn’t rotate. The changes made me un-sleep-able! I felt sleepless in Singapore for 3 whole nights. By the 4th night, I could happily sleep without my trusted air-con.

Actually, this small incident made me step out of my own comfort zone. Honestly, I never like to sleep without the air-con. Not that I am spoilt but with the air-con, I have every reason to keep my door close.

However, when my “zone” was shaken, I saw a scene that I have never appreciated ever before in my small room in Singapore. I saw the moon and stars in the sky - in Singapore.

In my small room in Brisbane, my bed’s beside the large window. (I will try to find the photo of it) And every night before I sleep, I have a habit of looking up at the sky to enjoy the galaxy of stars and moon. It’s a real nice feeling. It totally relaxed me. If not on my bed, it’s a drive to Mt Cootha just to gaze at the sky.

Labeling Singapore as a place that’s filled with clouds and high rise buildings, I never learn to appreciate the nature that’s around me. Many times often, I will fall into the habit of “complaining” that the beauty in Singapore is less than that of Brisbane.

Then I realized, it’s not that it’s not beautiful. But it’s that standard of beauty has changed. Not only that, sometimes when you have seen something nicer, anything lower than that is “Eeeuuukkk! Nay!! NO GOOD!” Reminded me somewhat of a loss of childhood innocence, loss of childlike faith.

For the past 3 nights, it has become a habit of mine to look for the moon and find a few stars behind the clouds and give thanks to the Lord for His creation IS good!

Stars. They have always been a source of constant hope for me. To Abraham, God said that his descendants will be like the stars. To the 3 wise men, they found Jesus by following a star. At the same time, Jesus is a star of the morning light came from heaven to us to shine on those who are in the dark. And now, hey… We are stars. That hope in me that I can be a light that can help shine in darkness.

Genesis 1: 16-18
“God made two great lights—the greater light to govern the day and the lesser light to govern the night. He also made the stars. God set them in the expanse of the sky to give light on the earth, to govern the day and the night, and to separate light from darkness. And God saw that it was good.”

We lose some, we gain lots

Coincidentally, on Sat, I was chatting with my friend and we both agreed that "We lose some, we gain some." pertaining to friendships. Then I added "We lose some. But when we learn to let go and let God, we gained lots.

Yesterday's Sunday sermon is titled "My Life, Your Calling". When I considered my own life's journey, I am satisfied to know that no matter what, when God calls me, God will provide for me.

Remembering when I was upset over a lost of friendship, God provided me with strength, new perspectives and friends.

A great sermon to start a new week indeed! I slept real well on Sunday for today's battle at the clinic! Many seem to have fallen ill lately. Mainly flu. So afraid that I will be struck down too! But NOPE! I am praying AGAINST it!

Yuppety yup! I'm off to prepare for this brand new week!
Luner New Year is round the corner and for this year, I have been tasked to find out how to boil Tomyam soup! My family's reunion's dinner's brought forward by one week and one day. This Friday's my reunion's dinner. I am looking real forward to it! It's not every year that I am tasked to take care of food! You know? Usually, Mummy's are the chief of the kitchen!

Will blog on my Tomyam soup the next time! :P

Miss the Rain but Love the Sun

I didn't know that the sun was out to play this morning till my friend smsed me that she love the Sun!

Hmm.. For me, I sort of miss the rain. I love the pitter patter of the rain on me though at times, it gets pretty inconvenient especially when I am in heels or office wear.
I kind of miss those times in Poly where we go crazy when the rain is out.
Remembering my first sem, we LOVE water! When there's rain, we will go out and play. Then I also kenna sabo-ed by the guys. They carried me to the toilet and spray water on me. Man... I love water.

But hey!
However, on the flip side, I love the sun too!
With the sun, I got my clothes dry. I got dry towel to use.

Never say goodbye

Suddenly the song "never say goodbye" and the phrase "All good things have to come to an end" seem to clash big time.

Today, I made a farewell speech at my clinic. Not that I want to but rather "forced" to. Thankfully, my skin has thickened over the year.

I have never loved saying goodbyes. It makes me sad even though I am not close to the person. Didn't realise that other than myself, another nurse is also leaving and today's my last day to see her. Best of all, she's migrating Down Under for good.

So often, when things like this happen, I always ask myself "Why didn't I get to know her better when I had the time to?". Anyhow, there's always a TIME FOR EVERYTHING. A time to get to know, a time to part.

Today, I had my first class at NUS. It was quite a mad rush from far East to far West. First, I waited impatiently for the bus to come. Then I wished I am in a Bullet train. Then when I waited for another bus to transport me to school, I wished for a moment, I am in a Transporter!!! A Transporter that can transport me straight to my desired place of destination!

Because of my semester leave that I took last year, I was sort of prepared for a class filled with familiar faces. I was pleasantly happy this morning knowing that one of my batch friend is also in my class! Just when I am on my way down, I receive her sms telling how much she's thankful that we have each other. When I stepped into the class, I really understood how she felt. We were surrounded by classmates who are not only unfamiliar but rather exclusive. Giving me the feeling that it's hard to get into their gang. Well, not giving up the fact that we may be friends after 8 weeks of sessions. Till then, my friend and I are resoluted to be siamese twins. Haaa!!

Meanwhile, I will get my proposal & placement approved and till then, I will make my choice to always remain joyful!

Compassion needed

"Compassion is about helping people when they are in need.
Mercy is when you give someone a 2nd chance even when they don't deserve it.
However, you can't have mercy without compassion."

Not sure if I have shared this before.
Months ago when I watched Vegetales, these 3 sentences caught my ear and I quickly jot it down.
Lately, when I thank God for His mercy on me and ask Him how to have mercy on others, the 3 sentences struck me.

How true it is.
How can mercy be without Compassion.
If God isn't a God of compassion, would He have sent Jesus down to earth?

Am still in a mind of evaluating my 05 and still in a state of thanking God for all the wonderful things that He has done.
Today after work, I got unto the same bus as a doctor in my clinic and we started chatting about our Uni days & our days of how we gotta know God.

When I came home, I started looking at my photos.


This great friend of mine, Nazih, has been a great support during my uni days. One who always believed in me & one who will call me once in a VERY blue moon no matter which country he's in. This photo's taken on the last day of my stay in Brisbane. When we parted in the car, can't help but tear.


This is a last holiday I took before I came back to Singapore for good. Man... I miss travelling with friends! I miss planning itineraries! I miss....

Hi, good morning. Here to see a doctor?

I'm drained.
It's only 3 days after the New Year. With this new year, there's also new change in policy and rules and regulations.
I served 150+ patients, 30+ refunds and many complains.
I really appreciate those who are very kind and accomodating.
They were like a rare species of flower found in the desert.

With new policy, I have to take time to explain to every patient.
Different patient take news differently.
Some of them, you can really see that their comfort zone is shaken.
Some of them are really cool about it.
Personally, I felt very drained having to explain over and over and even withstand scolding.

However, when evening comes, I am alive all of a sudden!
Haha! Went for my first CG of the year yesterday and met my sheep for the first time of the year today.
Am very excited for this new year and still believing for great things to happen!

Signing off for tonight. I shall save some words for tomorrow at work. *wink*

Tongue

"Life and Death are in the power of the tongue" quoted from an article I read.
It goes on to explain that words are tools we use everyday to communicate, inform, educate, console, counsel, etc. Words give life to a situation. Words can bring strength, comfort, consolence and love to those around us. At the same time, words can bring us down too.

I've heard several times from people around me saying "You know, I just can't do it cause I just know that I can't." I will always tell them not to say that. There is power in words. Rebuke it and try to start doing. You'll surprise yourself very often. Of course, sometimes, I have to "tame" my own tongue also.

I know one thing for sure. Many times, when I am lack of confidence/courage, I will always tell myself out loud that "I can do it. With God I can.". Words when spoken out can create nothing into something that can be so beautiful, something negative into positive.

I haven't exactly pen down all my goals and resolution for 06 but I know that when I do, I am going to pray out loud till I see it come to a past. I can't say I have closed 05 with a good ending. Some regrets here and there but I am at the same time excited for 06. Lots of changes. Closure to my studies. Entire change of job. New working hours, workload. New friendships/relationships to work on. I am, however, determine to make 06 a great one - With God.

Pr 13:3 "He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin"