Miracles

There can be miracles, when you believe

Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill

Who knows what miracles you can achieve

When you believe, somehow you will

You will when you believe

I often tell the parents of the kids "Please do not expect miracles off your kids after a few months of stay in an instituition.". Truly, bringing up a kid is like dancing. One has to lead, one has to follow. You can't do without the other. You just can't leave a kid alone expecting the kid with all the "SHOULD DOs". As the child got institutionalised to be "changed", it would be SO much more helpful if the parent plays a part in the entire process.

3 years into this line, I questioned myself when will I get jaded? When will I turn cold-hearted? Will I ever forget God's calling for me through this job?

First half a year, I was struggling emotionally wondering how to REALLY render help to people? Help is ONLY that much what... For the poor, you try to apply whatever financial help you can get. Then you try to build whatever relationship you can. Then you see how far you can enter into their life world and if you can, you try to influence. Then again, I ask myself - How much change can I see? When the people refused to budge, then how? When they refuse to help themself, then how?

Along the way, I realized that no way can I do this job without God. I can't do this without God. At the end of it, I come to realize that the ONLY person who can provide peace is God.

Do I believe in miracles? Frankly, I have my disbelief. A couple of months ago, I thought to myself - "This boy is totally out of control. We can never intervene. We have run out of resources. He can never change." About a month ago, I was convinced that if I have the heart for this boy, I should pray for him. I started not knowing how to pray for him. I was filled with frustration and dead-end routes only. Little by little, I 'learned' how to pray for him.

I do not know if I had seen a miracle but I believe and firmly believe that I AM living in a miracle. Not only I am seeing that the boy has changed, I am still living in amazement at the overnight change in his family.

I will keep praying.