In a shoe

I went down today to get my parents and myself some lunch and on my way back, I saw a bunch of caucasians looking amazed at their surroundings. And I tried to look through their eyes at what they are looking at. (1) A field that's filled with little boys playing soccer. (2) Lego-land! All the HDB flats of different shapes and sizes. (3) A train that passes through 2 HDB flats.

Yes.. They were amazed. They were like "Awwww....! This is SO cool!"

Honestly? For awhile, I wonder to myself - "Now Sandra, WHAT exactly is so amazing?"

Having been "bred" and brought up in the land of Singapore, it's no wonder I am not amazed what what is my surroundings. However, just now, I told myself to look through their eyes instead of mine and I realised that "hey.. It's indeed nice IF I am looking at things as though as it is new." I just thought too that "Hey! I was like that when I landed in Australia 6 years ago! I was amazed and I have my mouth wide opened. If any Aussie saw me, they would have thought I was a mountain tortoise."

Today, started pretty bad frankly. I woke up all ready to meet a girl together with my colleague only to have my colleague sms-ing me that the girl has decided that she has no mood to meet. OK!! So well, no more swimming, no more work. All of a sudden, I was SO frustrated! I mean "Heh! I am willing to put down my own agenda just to meet you and here you are, cancelling everything just because you don't feel like it." For a moment, I nearly broke out in tears because I really don't know what to do with no "movements" with this girl. I asked God "Why?" I was really so frustrated. I know through studies and constant reminders for myself that in the social service line, it is Client's agenda over Own's. I am NOT willing at all to give up yet I am so so stuck! I can't engage the girl. I can't WORK with her. I can't even have a compromised agenda! I prayed and asked God for wisdom and started my day thinking what to do later feeling rather "stuck".

I thank God really for the lunch trip downstairs cause that incident with the caucasians brought a word to my mind - Shoe. I started asking myself.. Ok.. If I am that girl, in that situation, with that problem, what do I want? WHAT exactly do I want? Why not look at things through HER perspective instead of selfishly mine?

The thing about following others' agenda is that there is this instilled feared that you do not know what the future lies. I simply do not know what plans the girl has and that frightens me. Just like so many times when I am going through bad times, I will ask God "Oh Lord, where are you leading me to?" But, yet, this is where having faith applies! Many times when I look back at those dark times, I "triumph" at the victory through Christ because if I am asked - Do you want to go through it again? My answer would be Yes, I don't mind. Because it was through the bad times, I relied on God even more. Faith built and strengthened.

There and then at the traffic light, I rest my case with God and enjoyed the rest of my day with my family, dogs and my godson's birthday bash in the evening.

See.. I took a photo of my "hometown" a couple of months ago and I LOVED it so much. There's so much joy and peace in the picture even though it's only a flat and a field. I never thought my place look so beautiful. Loving it so much that I think I won't want to shift out of it.