Daddy

"Critical condition, dangerously ill, still in the woods, not stable, etc"

A few of the dreaded words I had been listening to since 5 Jan. That day, dad was admitted to the hospital for a case of internal bleeding. 14 Feb, he was admitted to the hospital again for another case of internal bleeding.

When I saw my dad lying on the hospital bed yesterday, I can't help but feel sad. A strong man he was. Yet, he seemed defeated and so fighting for survival. As I saw my dad teared, I felt like crying myself but I held back.

Daddy.

I have known daddy for 32 years. Yes, that is my age this year. He has always been a strong man. Honestly, if you ask me, my early childhood memories of dad was not the best. He was very strict with sis and myself - am sure it's because we are girls. He was very well-known for his anger, which I think I might have inherited unfortunately. I remember running around him just so as as to avoid getting caned. I often likened his voice to thunder, scary. I stayed on the 10th storey and my ears were so in tuned to the sound of his keys and car's remote control that I will run straight to my bed and pretend to sleep.

However, the past few weeks, I was trying to recall more memories of my time spent with daddy. I took out some photos of my childhood. The one photo which really captured me was this very cute one at the swimming pool (whoopz! My first naked photo! Hee!)

I remember my parents often say that I grew up being a swimmer because my parents brought me swimming when I was VERY young. Another photo shows me sitting on my daddy's shin in the baby pool. Then, I recalled there was one day (I think I was very young, in Primary school) when my dad fell very very ill. I was so worried that I slept seated on a chair by his bed.

Even as I am typing this, I have no idea how to end this entry. I am just reminiscing and deep in thoughts these days.