Perfect!

I have been advised recently that no matter what happens, always remain firm in God. Always keep His word close to my heart. I got a little reflective, put on my reflecting cap and started to think of the turning points I had in my Christian walk.

Coincidentally, this is the verse of the day from my devotion -

Proverbs 3:5-6

⁵ Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;

⁶ in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.

I had initially typed out a WHOLE chunk of reflections but here's the short version - the very very first time I am doing this disclosure - but standing TALL and proclaiming that God is good, in ALL circumstances. He has a purpose for me with a blueprint of my life all mapped out. So here goes...

Before REALLY knowing God (born to a church-going family), I was an insecure person. I looked for love in all the wrong places and got into a boy-girl relationship when I was barely 15 years old. Things got worse and we finally parted our ways. When we parted our ways, was also when I stopped going to church. Getting in & out of relationships thereafter became quite a norm to me until I met the ONE (whom I thought would REALLY be THE one). After 5 years, we broke up and I went to Oz to further my studies. Again, I was IN & OUT of relationships. Norm norm norm....

Finally, I surrendered my life to God when I was in Oz but it took me a long time before I digested God's commandment to be equally yoked. Relationships were still a stronghold in my life. Never knew really how to love a person. Also, never really saw the importance of being equally yoked until I realized how difficult life can be when one is unequally yoked.

By the time I realized it, with all my heart, I surrendered myself to God, trusting in Him. I finally decided that it's time to meet God face to face with all my deeply rooted issues and surrendered to him. I fasted from relationship, wanting to learn from the Word of God, what love is, what loving myself means, what loving others means. Not only do I not wish to hurt anybody else anymore, I really do not wish to hurt myself.

Therefore, despite knowing that Geo likes me, I rejected him once because I was not too sure if I, myself, were ready - ready to love and be loved, ready to share of my past. Naturally, there was slight fear that the one rejection might be rejection forever. Thank God, I have found someone who is stubborn, or should I say persistent. A year odd later, last year, Geo asked me again if I would like to bring the friendship to another level. This time, I was more confident of myself, I was confident of the 4-year friendship we had. More importantly, I was sure that it's God's timing.

"Love is too strong a word to say it too early yet, Love is too meaningful a word to say it too late." Nothing is too late in God's eyes because His timing is always perfect. I believe that if I had agreed to being with Geo at first instance, I might still be ironing out my internal issues. People say that God is good all the time, I say God is real and He really really loves us. He WILL grant us the desires of our heart IF we follow His ways.

Our Valentine's date with Francis Yip at Sg Indoor Stadium