I had a half day off in lieu and I decided to use it today. My dad wanted me to bring him to a workshop to modify our car's petrol tank. Then suddenly in the morning when I was at work, he called me and said that he doesn't want to modify already because when that happens, our warranty will most probably be void if anything does happen to our car.
Ok... SO, with a half day off, what exactly did I do??!!!
Sandra went out shopping with daddy!!! Ok.. It's not the first time.. But this time, I just felt that it was different. I guess after having a list of clients at work, I start to become more patient with my own parents. I can't possibly ask my client's children to be patient with their parents and yet I am not. So, first, I bought my dad to Ikea. We walked around Ikea and we met Yung (HopeKids teacher). Sadly, her kids are not around, else, I will introduce all of them to my dad. Haaa... And so, we started to chat about my work, his life at home, my life at church. [It's quite a welcoming conversation that we shared!!] After Ikea, I could sense that daddy doesn't want to go home yet so I suggested bringing him to Parkway Parade. We went shopping and this time, woah.. for the first time in MY life, he shared about his love life with my mum!! Can still remember that smile that flashed across his face - somewhat shy, somewhat reminiscing, somewhat ecstatic. He spoke very wise words today. He said that his face may show that he is fierce but we ought to look into his heart. It's the heart that matters... (How wise..Don't God look at our hearts?)
My relationship with my dad has never been a good one when I was young. I have always thought that he plays favouritsm and for a long period of time, I refuse to speak to him. I hate the words he used on me and when I was young, I internalize a few of the words that he used on me. I also hated the beatings that I had. I ended up half angry and half fearful of him. At the age of 17, I ran away from home but only for a month. When I went overseas for my studies, I have never thought of coming back to Singapore. However, in Oz where I got to know God, I got to know the power of forgiveness. I came back to Singapore and I resoluted to get to know my dad for who he really really is.
Sometimes, it's hard to understand an old man. Sometimes, I feel like giving up. Sometimes, coupled with frustrations, I feel like just going back to my shell. But God has been my strength and of course wisdom. I guess... like what my clients sometimes tell me "If only my children can try to understand me more...".
Conclusion of the day - Seize every moment.
2 comments:
Hey what a coincidence. I was just writing about seizing the day in my Jun 1 blog entry and that we have to live in the "here and now".
Yup..! Indeed.. Seize the day.. Very often, we take things for granted and for that, I am guilty too..
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