Punish-me-nt

A couple of weeks back, we were discussing about our Behaviour Management at one of our weekly team meetings.

Generally when something wrong is done, the flow is as such: Punishment -> Problem Solve -> Consequences -> Restoration. Some of our kids who came from the State's Home, they will be prepared that when they commit an 'offense', they will receive their due punishment; be it sit ups, push ups, star jumps, wash toilets, etc.

However, we believe that kids should be brought up as kids. Children are NOT little adults. Often, the BIG adults like me make that mistake of treating them like little adults. Already confining them in a Home is very demeaning. No kids in the right mind would love to be drawn apart from their family. They have gone through LOTS of pain which perhaps, I would never ever had the chance to experience. We believe that every relationship has a potential to blossom, given the right opportunity.

Therefore, we place relationship in high esteem. When a mishap happens (e.g. a bunch of mischievous kids played a prank on a staff and threw her clothes away while she was bathing), the first thing we were very mindful of was not to punish them. We made sure that the relationship between staff and the kids were restored. (That in essence, solves the problem) Then we sit down with the kids to ensure that they receive some form of consequences. If that is still not fulfilled then will we look into enforcing a punishment.

What then, is the difference between a consequence and a punishment? Consequences is thought through together with the kid. They accept it willingly. Two way traffic. Punishment basically is a reinforcement on our part.

Well, I am not saying that we are the BEST. Even I, struggle. So often, when a kid makes a very wrong mistake, my very first reaction is (honestly) to punish. It takes plenty of thought process to 'retaliate' the situation.

Not sure how many of you reading this entry can comprehend me but to end of this entry, my colleagues and I came up with this thought. Punishment in ESSENCE is really not about punishing but actually NOT to punish. Break up the word, you get 'Punish-me-nt'.