Intimacy

I was rarely sick but last weekend, I was a goner. Started with 2 little sneezes on Friday. Sneezed so badly that sleep came easy. On Saturday, I woke up with a running tap that can't be turned off. By evening, I had to pop the pill for my nose. For those who knows me will know that I totally dislike to be medicated. Ceiling spun and I slept. Next day, I was still a tad drowsy and couldn't wake up for first service so I excused myself for the second service.

The minute I stepped into Nexus, I felt a sharp pain in my gastric area. I thought 'That's it! How to survive till my night's appointment??' By the second praise song, I could not remain standing anymore. I decided to lay hands on my own gastric area and prayed to God for healing. I was praying so hard - Oh God!! Heal me!

All of a sudden, in the midst of my pain, I heard this small voice telling me "Where is your faith? Where is your trust in me?"

That was when I realized that although I was praying desperately for healing, at the back of my mind, I had my plans. I thought "Perhaps I can get someone to fetch me back home. Perhaps if I can withstand during the day, at most I get a day's MC tomorrow. Or perhaps I take a cab home & rest then in the evening, come out grab my car and attend my night's appointment." I can honestly tell you that my list goes on and on.

"Where is your faith, my dear daughter?" That jolted me up! As much I really want to have faith in God to heal me, I was making humanly plans. I then realized that there is NO way I will be healed because doubts were covering my eyes from seeing far. In order to see things with my spiritual eyes, I have to exercise faith. I have to believe. I have to stop relying on myself.

By the end of the P&W session, my gastric pains were gone (though I still look sickly due to the sneezing). A friend prayed over me after the service. Amazingly, during lunch, I could have the appetite to have rice! I could even shopped around for a pair of shoe. However, dur to the lack of sleep, I had my siesta in my car for about 45 mins before my evening's appointment.

Another milestone for me in my journey with God. I would say that this is the first time I had laid hands on myself and received healing. I am really enjoying this intimacy with God.