Freedom

For the last 3 years, I have often blamed myself for allowing my work life affect my personal life. You know, emotions from work will, more or less, spill over into my own personal life. My close friends (Geo inclusive of course) had been through tears & laughter with me whenever I share about my work. It often end up in celebration or a good hug to tell me that things will be fine.

In today's meeting, boss said this "Everyone experience pain in life. Normal people feel pain. Therefore, pain is normal. Pain will stun a person's ability. In this line of work when we deal children in pain, we will be emotionally involved too. E.g., If I take in half of ones pain, he is lessened by 50%. Then I go to another person to take in half of the pain, his pain will be lessened by 50%. Soon, I will be carrying a lot of pain from them. Therefore, in this work, whilst the children feel pain, we will feel the pain also. Therefore, we really need to support one another." After his 'speech', tears welled up slightly because I felt I am not that abnormal after all.

Words from my boss still rings today "Everyone experience pain. Normal people feel pain. Therefore, pain is normal. Pain will stun a person's ability." Really, who doesn't feel pain? Pain from the lack of proper childhood, pain from being rejected, pain from a break up with first love, pain from unrequited love, pain from the lack of confidence, pain from the lack of family, pain from the lack of proper attention. I do believe strongly that what we go through in life determines who we are as an adult. The only factor that could help us be freed from the pain is God.

After 3 years, I have come to a conclusion that no matter how much I can pump in my help to a child or adult, no help is greater than the help one gives himself and the best help one can give oneself is to accept Christ as their Lord. Again, it's through this I see the sovereignty hand of God over my own life. I carried pain with me for 20 over years until I decided, one day, that I am sick of being in control of my own life, I told God "Take over."

God has been good. He is still good. Christmas is coming and as I recollect my journey with God, I cannot help but be grateful. Christmas is indeed a time for celebration. A celebration of the birth of the One who saves and loves.