A "date" with my blog once a week

I realized that I have been blogging lesser (due to tiredness after work). So entries are like once a week on a Sunday. Hee.. I shall do a quick testimony sharing. Here goes...

Beginning this year on the first week of January, my 2 colleagues (A pair of houseparents & my immediate partners at work) told me that they will like to have Sunday off for the whole of this year. Though on the surface I felt frustrated inside (cause it only means that I have to do more duties on Sunday), I tried to keep cool & continue to do my part at work till my boss address the issue.

Deep within me, I was praying, asking God if it's time I move to another department or another job. The missing of so many Sundays has been keeping me away from church & friends, making me feel, often, distant & dry. However, each time I pray, I felt no peace to leave. I even asked God "Is it You talking to me or is it really just me wanting to stay on in this job?" I got no reply so I continued to pray.

Came 1st Feb, my colleague from another department told me that she can't help me on the 3rd Feb, Sunday, which so happened was my CNY reunion dinner with my family. After seeking many other colleagues for help to no avail, I was really frustrated to the point of tears. I still went through my Sunday duty. However, on my drive home, I drop tears. I felt unappreciated, tired & alone. Back home, after reunion dinner, I pondered over my situation again & that's when I realized that I have been alone really only because I have been relying on myself. I repented & made a decision to let go & let God. I told Him that I am going to entrust myself to Him. I lay it all out on the "table" & told God to do something REALLY obvious so that I will know whether or not I should stay on.

Cliché as it sounds, I have to say that when we let go of ourself, our own self dependence & go to God, He will not fail us.

The very next day, Monday, my boss told me that there will be one colleague transferred over to my side. Better still, I had a talk with my 2 colleagues about them taking on Sunday duties. We managed to work something out and they agreed!

This arrangement means a lot to me! Means that I will not be the only caseworker. Means that I have someone to make decisions with. Means that I will not be the default answer for Sunday duties. Means that I have my Sundays congregation worship back. Means that I can reinstate myself back to HopeKids.

Previous few months, my life has pretty much grown into one that is routine & mundane. I often wonder - Where has my joy gone to? Where is God in the midst of everything? It's only when I got really desperate & cried out to God that I realized that all along, it wasn't that God wasn't around. It's me looking too much at myself. After that decision made, I could literally feel my whole burden lifted off my shoulders, joy seeping into me, laughter coming back, countenance improving. I learned a valuable lesson of keeping myself plug to my Source at all times! God is faithful even when I am faithless!

He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit. - Jeremiah 17:8 (NIV)