Compassion and 聽

Today was the Family Group Conference Refresher's training and the trainer, Vince, shared on the role of the coordinator. What is the role of this coordinator? What are the values this coordinator should have? Who should this person be? Amongst the many words to describe the role and values, Compassionate and 聽 left a deep imprint in me.

Prior to this training, Compassion, in my perspective is just a word to describe a feeling. Going deeper into its origin and history, the word compassion comes from the Latin stem Compati, meaning to suffer with. 'Com' is 'together', 'Pati' is 'to suffer'. Compassion, then, is more than just a feeling, more than just feeling. It is a together thing. Compassion is to suffer together with someone.

As the word was explained, I felt that all this while, I had taken this word for granted. Now I know why Jesus chose the nails for me. Jesus is described as compassionate. He suffers together with me, He suffers for me. He does not just feel the pain I go through. He goes through together with me.

We also went through the Chinese traditional word 'listen' - 聽. When we break up the word, on the left hand side, is the word ear, 耳. On the right side is 目, describing eyes. 心 means heart and finally 一 means unity, undivided attention. When we listen to someone, we should listen with undivided attention, noting body languages, listening with our heart and ears.

At the end of the refresher, my heart was in a state of having different feelings all at the same time. On one hand, there was a sudden surge of gratefulness in my heart. I was filled with thanks that someone was so willing to suffer together with me, to suffer for me. It is not something I do not know yet today, it somehow struck me so deeply. On the other hand, I do feel a sense of *hmmm* disappointment with myself. Yes, I tend to be people-oriented, friends do thank me for listening to them, friends have commented before that I am compassionate. However, today I ask myself - Do I live up to the word 'compassion'? Am I willing to suffer with someone? Do I really practice the art of listening? Do I listen with undivided attention? With my heart and my every being? Do friends feel they have my total attention when they look for me? Have I over the years grown cynical? Have I? I remember a few weeks ago, I shared with my buddy that I feel very unheard. Have I been hearing others then? Hmmm..

Ok, food for thought. Enough thoughts for today.