Decision

I have really not been myself lately. It's either due to the lack of sleep or just the lack of the know-hows.

Many has asked me "How is your dad?" and I often do not know how to give the best reply without feeling tears welling. No doubt, I am overwhelmed by helplessness which led to deep deep sense of sadness within me. Some have also told me "You can only do that much. It's really up to your dad's will."

There's a District meeting today which *frankly* I had tendencies of backing out. Lately, I have been in a DND mode. I do not wish to talk much to people (been talking too much). I do not wish to answer questions (not knowing how to answer). And more importantly, I wish to be in my room (hiding). But I do know that being alone all the time does not make matters better! Thus, I made the best decision. That is, to go.

I can't say that suddenly, it's "EuREKA!" for me or I feel suddenly refreshed. But one thing that I felt really challenged is to set aside time and make real effort to pray for my dad COUPLED with faith. Not that I have not been doing but in the midst of events, disappointments set in, faith start to be slightly blurred.

Still holding on to this promise from my 1st memory verse (in my own words): Trusting in the Lord with all my heart and I will lean not on my own understanding; in all my ways, I will acknowledge him, and He will definitely make my paths straight and lighted up.