Cycle of Grief

I think God must have been very gracious to me. Somewhere towards the end of last year, I bought a book entitled "On Children and Death" by Elisabeth Küber-Ross. It kinda refreshed my mind on the Grief Cycle. At that point of time, I was hoping to understand more about grieving so that I can help a client of mine.


(For more info, can either borrow my book or get the book yourself. Hee... Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, On Death and Dying, Macmillan, NY, 1969)

Yet in the wonderful book to understand more about stroke, it's said that when someone is hit with a stroke, they will go through different phases. Basically, it's because once while they independent totally on their own, they are now disabled. They were once well but now ill. Initial Shock. Future suddenly became very Unknown to them. Having to go through the reality is also very harsh. They may Deny facts asking "Why me?". After while, they may get Angry cause this is not the life that they want. Perhaps the fear of the unknown future will also create unwanted Stress and Anxiety. Being not able to move may put him then into Depression. Bargaining may start to take place when he feels emotionally more able. Finally, slowly and surely, he would walk into the Acceptance stage.

As I was reading it, I thought the different phases sounded familiar! Then I realised that it's the Grief Cycle. Like I said, it kinda put things into perspective for me. Over the past 11 days, my dad's emotional state has been like a roller coaster. It come to a point of time where I do feel my own blood pressure rising when he started scolding us. However, I often ask myself "What would it be like in my daddy's shoes?". I think... it's not that difficult to answer that question. Basically, no one really would want to be in that situation.

Yupz.. Just as daddy is going through an upheaval of emotions, so is sis, mum and me. However, for me, things were truly made easier by keeping my eyes on the Lord. It's interesting how frantic I could be. Yet, at the same time, it's so ever assuring that the peace of God has never left me. However, I gotta be honest though. Last week, there were days when I expect a miracle to happen. However, with expectations, I battle with disappointments. Then, it hit upon me this week that prayers is never only about miracles. Prayers is about Hope and Faith. I remember when my friend prayed for daddy, my dad was so calm and it almost seemed as if daddy has this Hope that no one could give.

My take is this: Theories can guide us. But God is the one who gives us directions.

Remembering one of my first few memory verse "Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart... Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." - Proverbs 3:3, 5-6