To be sucked in or to have your eyes fixed?

From Dictionary.com
pro·té·gé /ˈproʊtəˌʒeɪ, ˌproʊtəˈʒeɪ/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[proh-tuh-zhey, proh-tuh-zhey]
– a person under the patronage, protection, or care of someone interested in his or her career or welfare.

I watched Protégé at Plaza Singapura last night and deep feelings were etched out of the show. It portrayed an undercover cop trying to bring a heroin druglord to light. In the 8 years, he worked his way up from a poor guy on the streets to be a trusted Protégé under the druglord. In that 8 years, he built friendship with his so-called Master. In the process of his work, he befriended a heroin-addicted neighbour and her daughter. She got hooked onto drugs because of her husband and tried her best to quit. However, in a turn of events, her husband forced his way in and pump in more drugs into her causing her death.

As in any other shows, the druglord was arrested. Despite the choice, he chose to continue to be an undercover cop for the drugs world instead of reinstating his position as a police. He said that after 8 years of being in the circle, whenever he see cops, he will run away. How then, can he be an uniformed cop?

The ending left me most thoughts. After the arrest, the undercover cop lost his directions and purpose. In the 8 years, he always wondered what caused people to go on drugs. He never understood till the death of the druglord and his neighbour. Emptiness. In the moment of emptiness and loneliness, he nearly injected himself with a needle of heroin. Stopped short by the little girl whom he has taken in as her guardian.

The position he has placed himself in is one that is filled with negativity. FILLED with it. To be an undercover also means to take on the role of whoever you are playing. Once you lost your direction and purpose of it, it's easy to be THAT role that you are playing.

I was asked a few months back "How do you feel when you are in a job that's filled with negativity?" I forgot what was my reply but after much consideration, this are my thoughts on the question. It's true that I am in an environment that's quite negative. It's easy to say "Since I see so many divorces, I lost hope in marriage" or "It's so hard being a parent, thus I do not want to have children when it's my turn." Cause I believe that it's always our responsibility to constantly remind ourselves the purpose of getting into this profession. Social workers are meant to be change agents.

In order to be of the correct help, we have to constantly understand our role. I like what my ED say... "No matter how low we try to be on par with the clients, we can never be that low". His point is - We have to emphatise with their situation but no matter what, we are still in a position higher than them.

After being in this line for a year +, I realized what it means to keep my eye fixed on Jesus. It's easy to be swayed left and right. It's easy to be influenced. It's easy to succumb to the temptation of getting depressed. It's also easy to lose focus. Thus, keeping my eye on Jesus helps keep me focused on my purpose and calling.