All in a Day's Work

This entry is going to be a long entry. Mainly because I am VERY exhausted. However, I know that if I sleep now (afternoon), I will not be able to sleep well in the night. So I am trying to do things.

Over the past 2 days, I have never had such packed schedules before.

1) I started my day yesterday at 9am attending a Bully-Free Forum. Quite self-explanatory. Bully-Free. In fact, schools in Singapore has just celebrated a Bully Free week 23 - 26 July. My colleague and myself sat through "teachings" of the different types of bullying and a series of consequences of how bullying can affect the victims. Soon, Dr Ken Rigby asked us to share our experience - whether we were a victim or a bully.

Being soft spoken, I was an easy target to be a victim. I was bullied in Primary school. I thought life would be better as I progress upwards. I was terribly wrong. The bullying in Secondary school just got worse though it was different people who bullied me. Adolescents & young children are by and large different. Adolescents work on humiliating & rejecting you. The one way to break out of it was when I found a group of friends. At the same time, I also started going to a church. I seriously believed that having friends & a faith helped nullify that humiliation & rejection. Although, I must say still that bullying really does have long term effects. For me, it affected my confidence for the longest time I know. However, it proved no harm to me now.

Now, what is bullying?

"Bullying is when one or more people do or say things on purpose to hurt someone. It usually happens more than once. It is a very unkind way of treating others. Bullying can cause a lot of harm! Bullying is a situation where a powerful bully intentionally harms a vulnerable and isolated victim through repeated hurtful behaviours that can result in damaging consequences.".

How is bullying executed?

Verbal: Name calling, etc.
Physical: Hitting, Extorting, Destroying, etc.
Relational: Rumors, Befriending, Isolation, etc.

Effects & Consequences?

Many may felt that victims are the one who got the strongest negative effect & consequences. However, on a personal & professional note, I beg to differ & this can be found here.

Now as a worker for the society, when I "deal" with youths & children, I look out very much for bullying. For one, I hate the action yet, I feel a lot for the bully. I asked myself "What has caused the bully to be a bully?", "Is the bully going through something that he/she can't deal with in her own life thus he/she bully?". On the other hand, my heart pains for the victim for I, of all people, knows how it feels. I try. I try my best to stand in the gap. I try my best to restore, if I can. For I believe that both parties are victims in their own context.

2) Forum ended at 12:45pm & I quickly made a dash for my dear ex-shepherd's (Ginny) wedding.

Ginny was my first shepherd when I returned to Singapore. She is one person who has changed the most in a short span of 3 years. From a girl, she turned into a refined lady. She is also one of the few who has impacted my life, helping my transit to be a smooth one when I returned from Brisbane. Also one who introduced the term "Social Work" to me. When I returned back from Brisbane, I was rather lost not knowing what to do. I wanted a job that can work directly with children and youths. So I thought the ONLY (my knowledge was THAT limited) job was to be a teacher (but I failed in the interview).

Her wedding was a beautiful one. Beautiful because I have never ever attended a wedding where the thanksgiving speech was so genuine & heartfelt (& long). I lost track of the times when the word "Thank" was used. The couple practically thanked everybody. One could tell that the list was properly thought of. To me, this is just so Ginny. Thoughtful & humble.

Though I was rather in a hurry to leave, I was so very tempted to stay till the end. I was glad I stayed till at least the thanksgiving speech was over.

3) I made the final dash home to change out, bathe & pack for my overnight stay at KU Home.

I armed myself with a cartoon DVD & made my way there. When I arrived, I was welcomed by the kids. Had a great dinner with them & woohoo!!! I rewarded them with CARS. If you noticed, I used the word "Armed". Honestly, I am scared out of my skin by the term "overnight stay" for I am not prepared for the role of a houseparent. I am not sure what are the house rules. I am not sure how really the kids are like. I literally armed myself. Throughout the journey, I simply pray for nothing but wisdom.

I learned a thing or two about young children (& myself) last night:

1. They love attention.
2. They love treats (of any sort).
   
3. They love to be read to before bed time (Sample size very small).
   
4. They need structure. When a "program" in their daily life is taken out, they feel lost.
5. It's really easy to fall into the trap of playing favoritism, especially when bullying takes place.
6. Kids will be the sweetest when they want something from you! HAHAHA!!!
7. They protect (very strongly) the things that they love.
   

As I tried to lull myself to sleep last night, I prayed & asked God to help me. Help me to help these kids & their families.

4) Next day, due to some miscommunication, the next person who came to relief my duty arrived late. Thus, I was late for church. By the time I stepped into church was 10:30am. Ps Jeff & the whole worship team was up on stage already. The only question in my mind was "What segment of the service is this?? P&W? Did they have had a play/drama before this? Sermon over so fast?" For those not in my church, service USUALLY ends at 11:00 - 11:15am!! So, can you imagine how fast those questions were running through my head?

Although I attended not even 5mins of the session, I could tell by the prayer Ps Jeff led was about Judging. i.e. for us NOT to judge others. I responded to the altar call.

Just about 1/2 hour ago before I left KU Home, I was faced with bullying. Like I said, it is really easy to play favoritism, very easy to pass judgment on one kid over the other. I was stuck really & I know, in my mind, that I have passed a judgment - whether the bullying was mild or severe.