Of late, a friend of mine asked me - Are you sure you like your job? I answered - Yes. I love it. And I was further questioned - If you like it, why are you so much quieter and mellower now?
Concurrently on that day in the morning, my colleague and myself were guessing each other's personality and she guessed that I am a Melocholic and Sanguine combination and I was totally shocked! What?! Me? A Sanguine?! Hey man... Which part?
Today when I had my contact time with my managers to share about my struggles at work, I was told this "At times, you are very bubbly and warm. But on the flip side, you have a very quiet and shy nature." I quickly jumped in on the part that I am shy! I told them, my BIGGEST struggle is in establishing rapport with strangers!! I am SO shy! Then they asked me the question my big boss asked - How did you establish rapport with your close friends? My reply? "Oh... It's erm... usually not me who will approach..." (Though there are exceptions!) Somehow, I have this thing with strangers. Though now I can hold a conversation better now but there is still this slight tug in me.
So, no doubt, a yakkety job saps my energy totally. Suddenly, I understand what my lecturer meant. She says that when she is at work, she is very professional and not a hint of being shy and quiet. But when she's with her friends, she just automatically became quiet. She even warned us of behavioral changes in our initial phase of work! Man!! I wished I had listened to her lecture more..
I am perfectly aware of my own changes over the months. I notice over the four months, I have grown "noisier" at work and less "noisy" in my personal life. I notice that after work, I love to zip my mouth. I used to enjoy chats on the phone while making my way back but nowadays, on my way home, I love to just listen to music. I noticed, too, that my sms bill has FINALLY maintained under control. It no longer exceeds.
I'm definitely not upset and I am definitely loving my work. Honestly, as much as it's hard to do emotional detachment from work, sometimes, I am not even thinking of work. My mind just went blank and I think of my bed! There are times when my day was too overwhelming that I just have to do a shut down. No doubt, like what a friend advised - San, you must learn to balance else you will burn out.
So!! Therefore, to avoid burn out and maintain a balance, my colleagues and I is meeting up once a week to have a short P&W and Prayer session. Even though, I dragged myself up early in the morning, I never regretted going because I felt that my day felt so much refreshed with fellowship early in the morning! To perk our lives up, we arrange weekly swims and outings to cafes. (Seriously, it's real hard to arrange outings due to busy schedules!!) On the daily basis, there are the massage sessions, the Teh and Kopi sessions, the sing-song sessions and the MSN session. Sometimes leh, we have the Disturbing-each-other sessions. Man.. the things we do to try to avoid burn outs.
On the personal note, to avoid burn out, I keep quiet. I enjoy the silence that engulfs me. I enjoy the music in my ears and the book that I read. When I am not reading a book, I am with a comic that made me look like an idiot laughing in the train. So, for those who finds that I am changing, well, I am just transiting. =) Ah-ha-ha-ha!!
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