If I am not wrong, my dad's passed the denial, anger, depression and bargaining stages and finally accepting his condition. With that, I noticed that he's trying to get back into the normality of how his life was before he had a stroke. Which means that he would want to go to NTUC daily at least 2 times, he would want to travel around via car to Tampines, Bedok, Whampoa or Bendemeer. Of course, when we do not fulfill that, he gets angry and these days, gets pretty violent swinging his walking stick.
NTUC is easier to fulfill but it's tiring for mummy to bring him down 2 times a day. When they return, one of my dog would probably have poo-ed or pee-d and there's clearing to do. There's also the wheelchair to clean. Already when my dad's at home, he's often needing to go to the toilet. Wanting to eat or drink often. Despite being able to stand and walk by himself, he still wants help.
For me, I try to be around as much as possible. Mummy shared despondently that she feels that dad is simply against her. Things are usually fine if I am around but once I am away, his pattern starts again. If he wants something, he has to have it. After he had it, it's peace for awhile until he got another craze.
2 weeks ago, he bugged his friend for a bird cage. After a bird cage, he bugged for a bird. After getting a $180 bird for a week, he lost interest. Today's craze is about getting sweet honeyed mango. He was bugging and bugging and in between time, angrily, I brought him out to get those mangoes.
*sigh*... Admittedly, I am not as patient as I ought to be. I am not as loving as I would want myself to be. I am so guilty of it. I get very angry because I see my mum 'suffer'. Yet, if I manage to bring myself to look at my dad, my heart breaks looking at those blue-grey eyes. It speaks of insecurity, unforgiveness and loneliness. I pray indeed that I will love my dad more for only love can motivate one in the right way.
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