ACE

I attended a 3-day workshop on the Attachment Theory and the one principle that I was refreshed by is ACE - Accept, Curious and Empathy.


I realized that often when someone share their problem or issues in life with us, we tend to focus so much on the problem. Sometimes, as the person share, we may process it in our mind and very often, our first reaction is basically to react. Give solutions or think of similar incidents in our own life and thus advice based on our own victory.

*Confession: I do fall into such category sometimes, if not most of the times!*

I was reminded how people are unique and individual. I wouldn't like to be compared so I shan't compare. I would love to be heard so I do my best to hear. I would love if someone can empathize along with me, so I do my best to accept what I am hearing.

Recently, I have this new case and as I advocated strongly for the child, the parents felt unsupported because whatever is for the child, is against the parents. I nearly fall into the trap of a shouting competition when I used ACE. It worked miracles! When the parent saw that I am accepting and empathizing what was said, tension left the the situation immediately. As I got curious, the parents started to share even more than what I expected.

Listening is an art that one will never stop learning throughout one's lifetime. It's something we have to be self aware and be conscious about. I have so so so so much more to learn in life.