Parent-ified

I have never felt like a parent as much as I have felt in these 2 weeks. In a way, the "pressure" of being the guardian is greater than being a parent. As a guardian, I often ensure that everything is done & that there are absolutely no loopholes. So that, I can be accountable to the parent for whatever that will/may happen to the child.

Lately, I return home wondering "How should I have handle that child better next time?", "Should I have said what I said just now?"

Learning curve is steep.

I have absolutely no idea, to begin with, how to parent a child, lest a teenager. Daily when I wake, I ask God to grant me His wisdom. I get stuck often. Teenagers being fast, I also gotta think fast. My reaction sometimes has to be fast - of which, I struggle.

Having said that, I find the process very enriching. How many singles can actually have the opportunity to learn how to be a parent? Haha!!

One of the greatest thing I learn this week is this: Sometimes, it's ok to be silent. Let the child rattle on, grouse, complain, be angry, throw tantrums, cry, whatever. It's absolutely ok to just remain silent. There actually is no need to jump in to the rescue at all times. After a while, all is forgotten and the child is back to you laughing and asking you if you want to share her chocolate. I am sure that during the child's struggle, he/she have learned something out of his/her experience too. However, I must say that it's NOT easy being silent! Thoughts of giving in flash me by all the time. My heart ached too.

I thought about it and reflected upon my own life & thought "Hey! Perhaps, that's how it's like with God too!" You know la, who doesn't cry out "God!!! Why are you so silent at this point of my low moment????" Have right? Well, I believe, God just want us to learn something with our struggle. My Heavenly Father must have ached for me too. But learn, I must.

Quoting what my leader said yesterday "We all have the different seasons in our life. However, unlike the 4 seasons, the duration of our life-season is dependent on our responses towards God."

Good night.