Delivery, Breastfeeding, Bathing, etc & the little one

I sat through a 3 hours talk yesterday evening on how a baby is delivered, technicalities of how to breastfeed, how to bathe a newborn, the types of immunization needed for the little one. I went with a group of colleagues. It's interesting to note how many squealed at the pictures of delivery. (No.. Not that I have given birth but I am SO glad that my experience in the hospital before has trained me to see worse photos). As I hear those squeals, I sort of recalled how I had squealed 3 years back. Shivers down my spine..!

Throughout the talk, I can't help but praise God for the mystery of the human body - the Female body. It's amazing HOW a female body can continue to breastfeed for many many years.. It's amazing how through that rib from Adam, a woman is formed so very different with the addition of a Birth Canal for child birth. I often hear my friends saying that their tolerance of pain is VERY low and that they cannot "tahan" (withstand) birthpains. Yet, those are the very friends who went through it and still want their 2nd or 3rd one. Somehow, it's quite true that God will not give us anything more that we can bear.

Well.. for me, I don't have to go through those pains yet.. I have two lovely godsonnies.. :) Looking forward to seeing them agaiN!

Holding my horses

Sometimes, I have this very bad habit of passing comments straight-fowardly, directly, curtly to friends. OK.. To be more precise, only good friends of mine "suffer".

So yesterday, I passed a few comments (is it a few or alot? Hmm..) to a friend of mine. The feedback was "You sure don't mince your words" and then added in front to nullify that "I just thanked God that I have a true friend."

Towards the end of the conversation, I found out that though appreciated my feedback were, I felt that I really shouldn't have passed it - For I do not know the whole matter. As much as my friend was looking for support, the support that I have given was not what was envisaged from my friend. In all honesty, I am someone who is as real as I can be especially to a good friend. And I guess.. I really wasn't able to give a full support if I can't agree so I was too direct.

What a yester-night. I think what I had last night was considered a mini quarrel with a friend. I couldn't exactly sleep till I made sure that I resolute a few things in my heart. I will give my listening ear as support. Speak less, hear more. Hold my horses!!!!!

Networking & Outreaching

Yesterday, I received a "bonus" from my new AD. I will be made the person in charge of Networking & Outreaching in my FSC (Family Service Centre). Which will mean that any meetings that my managers go to for outreaching or networking, I will be going. In any case that I am not going, I will be kept in the loop with minutes. AD said something that was really encouraging. We cannot just be in this organization and just continue to be Social Workers. We need to be trained for leadership as well. We need to always move upwards and not downwards. I thought - Kewl!

However, my first reaction was - "Aiyoah..! Why I always "tio" arrow for networking & outreaching ah? I REALLY am very shy one leh!" But ok.. I act cool and said "Ok."

After recovering from the "shock" or "surprise", I thought and felt that when there are no challenges in life, there will be no growth. I think and I FEEL.. *nods* that perhaps, maybe, COULD be, should be God training me to be un-SHY.. Hahaaa.. This afternoon, as the information starts to sink in, I started to think about the logistics. I had a talk with my manager. I really need to plan my time properly. I need to know when will the meetings take place. (At night or in day) I need to know how are the door knocking sessions done. I need to know also what is required of me. As much as I love impromptu-ness, I still need time to prepare myself to get ready.

After a good 24 hours thought over it, all of a sudden, I felt that I am really walking one more baby step towards God's purpose in my life. In my previous blog, I have shared about how God has been speaking to me about reaching out locally. Suddenly, I thought - Hey.. isn't this a GREAT opportunity to cast my net in the area of resources? Isn't this a GREAT opportunity for a VERY young worker like me? Talk about wanting to build my resources. Hey.. This is a fantastic way.

Talk about being ready all the time. Today, I realised that importance. I had a chat with my colleague over lunch and we had a long chat. Somehow, the conversation just somehow led to me sharing about a past relationship of mine 6 years back and how that broken relationship has somehow led me to God. THEN, that was when she asked me about God and about how God allow relationship to take place in the world. I was stunned. However, I shared to the best that I can which is simply to just share how God created the world, Adam & Eve. I could see that my colleague was amazed but she still felt peace in her own faith. I left it as it is. I water the plant a day at a time. And while I water, I remind myself to be ready all the time.

Saturday Rendevous

Long blog of the weekend... *grinz* This blog is dedicated to my CG & Brisbane friends.

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My Saturday started out with my mum waking me up telling me that she is going out with her friends. So my responsibility is to bring my dog downstairs for his afternoon walk. *yawn* She told me while I was sleeping. I wanted to exclaim "But but but but I am going to my shepherd's house to "bake" a cake?!?!" I decided to zip my lips and allow my mother to go out with her friends in peace. Think about it.. How many times she actually get to go out?

Yup! So, I had a CG gathering over at my shepherd's house. Prior to that, I met up with my shepherd to make a quick purchase of the items for the cake then had a "chop-chop culli-pock" (quick) shepherding session! Met up with a sister at the train station and made our way. Man.. I was FILLED with anticipation of the Mascarpone cheese and Kahlua down my throat!! We girls went over first to "bake" the cake - Tiramisu Cake. Why "bake"? Well.. We played cheat.. We did not use the oven to bake the cake. Rather, we used the shortcut of using "lady's fingers" for the layer of sponge cake instead.

It was a messy fun time. Because my shepherd don't really cook, you can only imagine for yourself that we had an interesting time looking for crockeries and stuffs.. Hee.. (Whoopz!!) But how can things as such destroy our excitement!! At the end of it all, we managed to get things going and I had fun looking at our cake "building up". I had my fun dipping the lady's fingers into the expresso. (Sorry.. For those who don't understand what I am saying, look into a Tiramisu recipe) Heehee...

The boys came over a little later with tidbits, drinks and themselves. That's when we started on our main purpose for the gathering - To watch a VCD "Raised from the Dead" by Reinhard Bonke's Christ For All Nations ministries. It was based on the parable in Luke 16:19-31 about the Rich Man & Lazarus. Basically, this pastor met with a very bad accident and was pronounced dead and laid in the mortuary for 3 days. The wife had faith that her husband should not die. Then, she heard about a meeting where Evangelist Reinhard was preaching and she brought her dead husband there where he was resurrected. Well, that's just the whole geez of it in a nut shell. When I watched it, my goosebumps were raised! Not only cause a miracle was performed but because of the Word of God that was driven through.

After the short clip of the miracle, E. Reinhard gave a short teaching on the parable (mentioned aboved). I like what he said - Does it mean that the rich go to hell and the poor go to heaven? No.. it's not that. The main difference between the rich man and the poor man is that the poor man believed in Jesus. The rich man begged for Lazarus to go back to earth so that he can tell his (rich man) brothers to believe in Jesus so that they will not go to hell. Logic is that if a dead man were to be resurrected, there is higher chance of his brothers believing and thus repenting. However, it is said in the bible that even when so many are speaking of God's Word to them, the brothers are not repenting, what difference will it make from someone who is raised from the dead?

Dead or alive, the only thing that went through my mind was - Grab hold of every opportunity. I speak from a background where I had backslided before. I had friends asking me to go back to God. I had friends who were exasperated when I turn them down (they were very gracious though). I also had friends who were frustrated with my stubbornness. However, when I came back to God and discovered for myself God's grace, mercy, love, joy, peace, I start to ask myself - Why didn't I go back to Him earlier?

At the end of the VCD, shepherd shared about having an evangelical heart. It's really not about numbers. It's not like the statistics has to be high in attendance. It's really about a soul. It's about a SOUL. I shared later about how God has been telling me - Go Local. I have always ALWAYS wanted to go overseas for Missions. It's almost like SO easy to love the poor kids in Africa, in Vietnam, in Cambodia, in Thailand. But God kept prompting me this year to open my eyes. Open my spiritual eyes to see what is happening locally. Start building a heart for WHEREVER I am. There is still so much I could do here.

After the VCD, we enjoyed the tiramisu cake - finally. In ALL honesty, it was NOT a very good cake. The previous recipe that I used before was better. Now.. I am in search of better recipe!! I have one BIG bottle of Kahlua to use!!

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Evening was a chatty, catching-up, clicking time for me and my Brisbane friends. It's really ironic at times. We only meet up once a year. ONCE a year. The fact that we meet up only once a year, it's not ironic that we talk alot. The ironic part is that the closeness still remains. When I was with them, I started to recall the times (reminiscing is my next best friend. Heee..) when we got to know one another in Brisbane.

Before heading towards the Church Conference in Sydney in year 2002, we had planned a trip to Melbourne. Drove up from Melbourne to Canberra and then to Sydney. The MOST memorable part was our stay in Mount Buller - Aeski Lodge. (Trust me.. It was a FANTASTIC stay. I will still go to this lodge if I were to go again.) Next to one snow flake that I saw in Birmingham, Mount Buller was the first time I saw REAL snow. (I did go in 2000 and guess what? The snow's NOT in season yet! So there was man-made snow. Phaaabt!!)

With permission, may I share a friendship I have with a close friend of mine. Despite those smiles shown on the (melbourne) photos, that trip was one that was filled with "inner anger", sadness, tears, whatever negative feelings you can think of (on my side). I had a huge quarrel with a friend. To cut the very long story short, that quarrel dragged for a long time (a near 2 years perhaps?? Can't recall..) all because I found it too hard in my heart to be big and forgiving. When I made the realization that I am petty, unforgiving, unloving, I started to see that it was not even a quarrel to begin with. It was a HUGE unforgiving act on my side. It was a HUGE issue of pride which I refused to give in. It was a HUGE anger and right that I was holding onto to tightly that not only I "suffer" but I had cause friends around us to "suffer" too.

What I truly thank God was how He has turned the situation around and turned us to good friends. Till this date, I cannot imagine how I could have done without this friend now.

Time. Time not only can heal wounds. Time can also bring friendships to a higher level - If we allow the level to elevate.

ANYWAY, before I get too long-winded, a display of photos from our Saturday Rendevous.. *smile* Notice how we have grown older, wiser (hmm.. hard to judge from a photo heh!), mature, PRETTIER (FLIPPED!), smilier, cuter, skinnier, plump-ier, lovelier, stylish-ier, etc...

Unfortunately, Edward is (AGAIN) the ONLY guy who turned up for our gathering. This poor boy has tried so hard to gather guys to come ONLY to be disappointed.. What really impressed me about Edward is that he stands whenever ANY of the girls arrived. Talk about being a gentleman. He has my 2 thumbs up!!!!

Tsk.. Can we EVER stop smiling? Rather, can we EVER stop clicking? If I may say it correctly, in that gathering, all I saw that evenings were smiles as we exchanged our life happenings, work, relationships, church. Hee.. I even felt that the Dory fish I consumed were smiling at me!! Haha!!

Oh.. At this juncture, may I share that the service that was rendered to us at Manhatten Restaurant (Plaza Singapura) has my 2 thumbs up also! The waiter and manager served to our very smallest details. They go through alot of trouble just to get 9 of us seated comfortably (though one of us will say that it's NOT comfortable as she was blocking the passage way. Hee...)

Now.. Because we ONLY meet like once or if time permits - TWICE a year, that once or twice is also known as a gift exchange day! The two "mugged" gal received their mugs which was meant for their last year's (I REPEAT - LAST YEAR'S) Christmas present!! Then well.. the rest are the August babies gift exchange.

On normal occasion, I would really not stay out late on a Saturday night. Reason being is because I would like to wake up early on Sunday for my church's prayer meeting. However, that Saturday night, I decided that times like these is really hard to come by. After dinner, we proceeded to the "Atas" (expensive in malay)-looking Restaurant and Bar in Istana Park - Giraffe. Every Sunday after church when I walk by that restaurant, I would always like to go in. However, it looked so expensive that I will always take a step back and go elsewhere to chill out. But surprisingly, it was reasonably affordable. (Let's hope the price won't increase!) *chuckle*

Can't believe it.. No matter how dark the place is, we could still find ways and means to take photos!

--> Just to prove that I had very healthy fruit juice!! Haha!! Someone there was EVEN healthier!! Drank a bottle of VERY expensive H20.. Hmmp!! Should have just gotten her to go toilet and drink tap water!! Haha!! Oh.. shucks!! Speaking of toilet, I SHOULD have taken the toilet signs!! Yours truly here nearly stepped into the GENTS.. Now.. Tsk.. Was I DRUNK on guava juice??

After doing so many photos, I decided that at this point, I REALLY should improve on my Photoshop skill so may I say that of so many pieces of "arts" I love this most. I love this pic that I took with my sister. I think - I really love this sister of mine. Haha!!!! I think ONLY because sisters being sisters, we do get on each others nerve!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!

My sister is so proud of herself taking this pic.. Hee.. Claims that she has a creative mind. Can't help but agree though.. I love the layout of the Margaritas.

Yupz.. If anything more is said, I can only say that "Friendship is a beautiful mystery". God has made humans to have interactions with one another. Through interactions, that's how quarrels are stirred up. But may I stand testified that when a quarrel or bad-feeling is properly dealt with, the friendship and relationship will grow to a higher level, a greater trust is built, a strong bond is strengthened. As I look back, I praise God and thank God for moulding me. I believe that since 2001, I have grown more mature through the MANY mistakes that I had made. (Of course, I am not saying that we MUST quarrel ah!! Hee.. Must put disclaimer)

A student worth taking!

This is what I meant by my sister being a worthy student! Quite a good job done!!

A day filled with erratic emotions

Today was a day with erratic emotions.. Because I am still erratic, this blog will be rather erratic! Not for the faint-hearted to read cause it's too messy!! I am just writing whatever's in my head...!

To begin with, I think I got up from the wrong side of bed. I met a friend for breakfast who became my first "victim". I was feeling "utterly-xian". I had quite a bit of things going through my pea-sized brains lately. To put me to shame, despite my bad behaviour, I was "awarded" 2 gifts - 2 more pairs of earrings and a bar of very nice dark chocolate. *sob* Before I stepped into my office, I heaved a BIG sigh, said a short prayer and walked in.

The atmosphere at work can't be said to be very uplifted still. All of us seemed to be rushing. I felt very "hectic".. Talk about living in a fast-paced world. Then, I felt very "helpless" towards a colleague who was upset. Hmm.. Shan't elaborate on this but feeling helpless is NOT a very fantastic feeling.

At the same time, I felt "flustered" over a Primary 4 Science. My client's daughter came to me sweetly yesterday and said "Sandra 姐姐 (big sister), can you help me with 2 questions PLEASE?" Tell me.. How to reject? I gave it a glance and I nearly fainted. I told her to come back today with her science textbook..! *grimace* It was 2 questions on the human's circulatory system. She was given 5 scrambled words and she has to unscramble it. With too much things on mind, I simply can't concentrate on playing around with the characters of the words given! Well.. PRAISE God for MSN, I had my sister and mother at home to help me unscramble while I complete my paper work! Talk about family support!

During lunch time, a colleague from the Youth Services came by and after chatting, found out that she knows 2 of my good friends. One from my British Council days and one from my Polytechnic days. I don't know.. But I felt a sudden closeness towards this girl because she knows my friends.. Haaa..

Thankfully, I was able to complete my paper work and a deadline for submission just in time! However, as I was about to step out of office for a home visit at Ang Mo Kio at 5pm, an important call came in. In the end, I left my office only at 4:18pm. When I stepped out of my office, I called my friend. After 3mins, I exclaimed that I forgot to bring my transport guide with me!! I felt that I simply have no time to turn back so I continue to make my way to the bus stop. Having a friend on the line was great help. She guided me to breathe in.. Breathe out.. Basically to calm down. Anyway, by the time I reach Orchard MRT station, it was already 4:45pm. Can't help but wonder - How to EVER reach there by 5pm!! Best of all, I still have to walk 5-10mins to the bus interchange just to check out the map & the bus number.

I said a VERY short prayer. "Dear God, please get me there on time. I do not want to be late for my first appointment with my client. Oh by the way God, give me directions!"

Guess what? As the train was travelling from Bishan to Ang Mo Kio, suddenly, the block that I was going to just suddenly pop up in front of my eyes! Immediately, I knew how to save time by strategizing my walk towards a nearby bus stop (I used to stay at AMK so roughly know a little of the bus routes) and hop on a bus instead of walking to the interchange. The minute I reached the bus stop, the bus that will bring me to the doorstep of the block arrived!! Well, I thought I will be 15mins late but guess what? (Yah..I was still late) BUT, I was only 3 mins late!! I can't believe how I could get to Orchard to AMK in 18mins time but I did it! No no no.. God did it!!

By the time I stepped out of the house in AMK, I was glad my day was over. I met up my friend for a late birthday dinner. Initially, there were awkward moments as we hadn't met up for awhile. However, as we start talking, things just flow through.

Before I went home, I popped by Cold Storage to grab a packet of Mascarpone Cheese for making Tiramisu cake tomorrow.

Well, to end the day, I taught my sister the basics of Photoshop. She has proven herself to be a WORTHY student! I taught her once then she eagerly wanted to hands on the next one herself. I purposely refused to stay in the room so that she will not ask me questions and boy.. she did a rather good one herself! THEN, I "graduated" her from her 1st class and I left her totally to do the 3rd one herself.. It was a pleasing sight to see.. :) More importantly, I do enjoy that time spent with my sister though only an hour and half..

Hmm.. I must say that I really did not start my day well. However, along the way, things got better and at the end of it all, I still know that God is in total control even with the little-lest prayer. A prayer that I thought so small that God will not answer. He did.

Getting Ready

No matter how prepared I can be, news such as a colleague moving on is still saddening. This afternoon, we had a 15mins meeting just for our ED, Dep ED and another dept AD to tell us that my boss is leaving. The meeting was JUST 15 mins. Thereafter, all 5 caseworkers took turns to be "interviewed" by the 'D's.

As I stepped out of the 15-min long meeting, I can't help but feel sad. I looked at my colleague and she looked at me. Suddenly, no matter how prepared we were, we know that we were still not prepared for it. Next thing I knew, I needed the toilet to drop some tears. (God knows how fantastic a friend the toilet has been for me!)

Came out and in my most logical mind told myself that changes are good. More importantly, if this change is going to bring happiness to my boss, his happiness will be more important than for me to want him to stay physically and be sad. Yes.. It must have been a tough call for him to make but the LEAST we could do is to make his departure a happy one. Working relationship may stop. But that's when friendship begins.

Anyway, just as I was ready for the departure news, I was TOTALLY not ready for the "interview" by the 'D's. All of a sudden, I was questioned - What are your strengths? What strengths do you bring to your team? What do you contribute to your team? And well, like any other interview, one question will ALWAYS lead to another. Kept reminding myself to be honest with my feelings. How many times do I exactly get to sit down with the 'D's for a chat as such. But boy.. Was I stress!!

Well, I left on the dot since I met up with my polyclinic colleagues for dinner. Guess what! Hahaha!! The dance that I actually helped them choreographed actually got into semi-finals for the National Healthy Week and hahah!! I am hoping to see them in finals!! Dinner was good. Just as I was about to leave to meet my current colleagues, they told me they were about to leave so I stuck on with who I was with. You know.. after hearing all the medical/clinical jargons, I do miss my work there. I miss having to solve computer problems instead of human problems. I miss having to attend to a fire alarm. I miss having to chat with the doctors and nurses. I miss having someone barge into my office shouting at the top of their voice complaining about certain procedures. But I think more so than ever, I know I miss it ONLY because I really had good relationships with my colleagues there.

Relationships.

Relationship is the biggest mystery in the entire world! Relationship is ONE thing that bring one spirits either down OR up. Speak an edifying word and one's spirits edified and lifted. Speak a word that cut, one gets hurt.

My QT tonight is from 1 Corinthians 13:5 "Love... keeps no record of wrongs".. Man.. How difficult can it be to erase hurts and keep no record of wrongs? How difficult can it be to give unconditional love? How difficult can it be not to have expectations? How HOW HOW HOW difficult to love without receiving love?

Thank you God simply for loving me unconditionally.

Social Work & my life

This blog was driven by a harmless passing comment a friend made - "Singapore needs u" and a chat with a friend who wanted to enter the Social service industry. She asked me - Why Social Work?

In all honesty, when I started Social Work, my heart was never for the Singaporeans. Instead, I always thought that Singapore will be a passing phase in my life. One day, I will use Social Work as an entry to other countries.

So, why Social Work?

I grew up in a very comfortable environment. My parents will do everything in their means to provide for me. I always have this perception that Singaporeans are all like me - Provided for. (Can't blame a young girl's worldview right? =)) I mean, not like we are poverty stricken or not developed as compared to a few other countries. Other than youth gangs, I know nothing more of how the people in Singapore couldn't be more blessed.

All righty, I was Engineering trained. Firstly, I was in the technical stream during my Secondary School days. Then I moved to Electrical Engineering in Ngee Ann Polytechnic. Then I worked 3 years in 2 Engineering companies AND I finally furthered my studies in Electrical Engineering too (Most logical path). Into my 3rd Semester studying my B.Eng in Australia, I knew that I totally dislike Engineering. What triggered those emotions is one whole month of depression over projects, workshops, tutorials, lectures. I was so depressed to the point of crying almost everyday. There was a time when I was in my lab & I received a call from my best friend in Singapore. Tears just flow upon hearing that warm voice.

I prayed over it, I thought about it & God somehow brought my thoughts to what I like to do when I was young - Listen to my friends problem. (That's why my dad often scold me for always hogging the phone. Thank God for mobile phones now!) After knowing my purpose, I easily got over my depression & put my heart to study well to get what I started out to do - to obtain a degree in Engrg. (All praise to God for I couldn't have done it without His favour)

And so I came back to Singapore and economy was down and I remembered what God reminded me - my love for listening to friends. That was when I start to struggle BIG time with the choice of dropping Engineering or to pick up Social Work. Other than the fact that money was good & that I could be more generous towards my family, I really do enjoy my days as an Engineer (before I furthered my studies). As I prayed, I was almost certain that I heard God leading me towards working with people.

The process to let go of Engineering was not one that can be described as fun. Classmates & friends around me ask me almost everytime they meet me why I make such decision. On a personal note, I struggle with guilt towards my family for choosing jobs that's either too low-paying or not what I studied. While studying, on and off, I will wonder "Is this really for me?"=

So, after a nutshell of "long" story cut to the shortest that I can, in my 18 months of studies to be a Social Worker, I have NEVER thought that I need to prepare myself to serve the Singaporeans. To begin with, one thing that I really struggled most is the culture in Singapore. Man! I can almost hear my mother's nagging "LIve in Singapore for 23 years, leave for Australia for 2 years and you can't get used to Singapore's culture?!" God MUST have been watching over me cause while I was studying, I was actually blessed with a polyclinic job with a job scope that require me to deal with human beings directly (e.g. complains, complains and er.. more complains). NOW.. That really prepared me for what I will be handling as a Social Worker.

Before I started my internship, I tell you, I really prayed real HARD.. REAL REAL hard.. REAL hard that I will be able to have compassion and love for the people in Singapore. I have NEVER thought how "poor" people can be - financially, mentally, emotionally or even spiritually till I started praying. God is good.. He caused me to see things which I have never seen before. He caused me to love people with NOT my strength BUT His. Not my love BUT His.

As mentioned a few para before, I have always felt that I will go overseas. But amazingly, there was ONE day when God spoke SO clearly to me - Before you love anybody overseas, love where you are now.

Currently, I really enjoy my job. It has it's challenges definitely. I have days of helplessness. I have days when things just go wrong. I have days when I get scolded by clients (like today). But I really still enjoy it. Whether I make a good social worker, I really don't know. But I do know that God will lead and guide me.

So back to the statement - Singapore needs you. What a long journey I have come to start loving the people whom I am serving. I think there isn't exactly anybody who needs anybody. If it's spoken in the perspective of love - Love is cultivated. It's not just there all of a sudden. True.. Our hearts are limited. God is unlimited. Our love is conditional. God's love is unconditional.

A fulfilling "crappy" weekend

Had a WONDERFUL surprise today. My friend came over and popped me a WHOLE tupperware filled with goodies!!! And a CAR decal which became a decal on my mirror. Talked about perking me up.. This indeed perked my day up!



Just an update on my last weekend..

I FINALLY made my way to the Macritchie's Tree Top walk.. And because the walk was faster than expected (1 hour instead of 4), my friends and I decided to walk to Bt Timah's Nature Reserve. Quite a refreshing long walk I must say. Perhaps I have covered about 12km? =)



And woah!!! On Sunday, I went to Blk 232 Ang Mo Kio Ave 3 for CRABS CRABS CRABS!! The BEST butter crab I have ever eaten! But hmm.. Let me see.. I think the sentence structure is totally wrong. How can it be the best butter crab I have ever eaten? That WAS the first time eating it!! Haha!! Great crabby night.. Or should I say - it was a crappy night too!

As Bread that is Broken

Had a prayer fellowship with my colleagues last week and this song has been stuck in my head ever since.

Had a short chat with a friend and somehow, that information made my heart heavy.

The song is pretty self-explanatory. Simple yet bears so much meaning. Salvation is so so free.. Yet the price that was paid for Salvation was so high.

As Bread that is Broken

Many hearts are hungry tonight
Many trapped in darkness
Yearn for the light
So many who are far from home
And many who are lost
O Lord, Your wounded children
Need the power of Your cross

As bread that is broken
Use our lives
As wine that is poured out
A willing sacrifice
Empower us, Father
To share the love of Christ
As bread that is broken, Lord
Use our lives

Help us to begin where we are
Help us love the people near to our hearts
Then give our faith a mission field
Wherever You may call, Lord
Love Your world through each of us
Until we've touched them all

Sung by: Ross Parsley
Hosanna Music
Album: Lord of the Harvest

An amusing MSN conversation

I didn't have any intention of blogging today but I found this absolutely amusing!!

I think this is my 3rd time feeling ABSOLUTELY living in the mountain! This time, maybe I live in Mt Faber's toilet. *grimace*

Now.. The Sunday that just passed, I got a waterbag from my friend. The type where you put in the hydration pack with the long rubber "straw". Thing is, I put water in it and tried to test how to use it. Thing is this - No matter what I do, I can't get the water down my throat!! I uncapped it, I twisted the nozzle, I tried pushing it but I can't get it to work. I thought.. "Ooh..Such a complicated mechanism. So MAYBE, MAYBE the CamelBak website MAY teach idiots like me - The Dummy Guide on how to use the waterbag.

Of course, I get no answer.

Checked my MSN list and found only ONE potential brother from church who MIGHT just have a waterbag. And BINGO!! He really has it!!

This is the amusing conversation with him when I sought his knowledge.


*sigh*.. Here am I already explaining that I feel so silly. Even as I am typing, I am shaking my head in laughter. Why did I ever get myself into such a silly situation. But heck la.. Just be silly and get it working! Don't want to walk the whole day with 3kg on my back with a waterbag that doesn't work.


*sigh*.. Real "xia sui" man.. 2nd time this brother call me a MOUNTAIN TURTLE!! But then again, ain't I unique??? *smile*


Better than denying it, I'd rather admit that I live in the mountain..


Can you believe what this brother ask me to do??? Ask me to dig nose!!! Aiyoz.. Doesn't he know what is hygiene?? *tsk tsk tsk*




NOW, I REALLY feel silly.. WHY? Because, I twist, I push, I open the cap of the nozzle BUT, I forgot to PULL the nozzle for the water. So while Andrew was explaining and at the word "PULL", er.. unknowingly, the water just spurt out and choked me! Coincidentally, my dogs came into my room. *grimace* Can you imagine the commotion?



Teacher Andrew... Here's my acknowledgements to you!! Cheers!

A conversation with godsonny

"Kiss godmummy can?" goes the plea from a desperate godmum!
"Don't want!" smiled my godsonny cheekily..
"Please??"
"Don't want..!" Still cheeky smile
"Ok ok.. Why not give godmummy a hug?" Desperately trying another method
"Don't want."
"Sure you don't want?" Another method of playing hard to get
"Don't want.." SMART isn't he?

Hmmm.. I forgot what I did.. BUT, I did get that long awaited kiss!!! I can remember he put his head slightly lower, smiled sweetly, moved towards me and planted a kiss on my cheek. It was real tough getting a kiss or a hug from a kid in his "Don't want"-stage. Yet that kiss that landed on my cheek gives me so much joy.

On my way to my friend's place, I was reading this book by Max Lucado - A Love worth Giving. I came across this sentence "Isn't it good to know that even when we don't love with a perfect love, He does?" On my way home, I wonder - How many times God must have struggled with me JUST so as to get that kiss from me!



Room too dark.. So photo didn't turn out too well.. But suddenly....!!!!



....!! I remember that my phone has a flash installed in it!! Woohoo!!!! Matt must be thinking "Why everytime godmummy come always must take photos??!!!" *sigh*.. Bo bian la.. Don't always get to visit him often..



It was SO scary carrying a month-old baby.. was so afraid of the head dropping off.. Where am I going to find another baby to replace!!! But he is SO adorable.. Gosh.. **heart melt**

Information overloaded

Initially, I thought and felt that I had a bad long day...
But no.. Thinking back, I just had an Information Overloaded day.

Ways to treat an Information Overloaded day
1) Laugh over it (though I have absolutely no reason to laugh)
2) Brood over it (now.. tell me why should I brood over it? hmm..)
3) Laugh at comics

Courtesy from Babyblues
4) Find thanksgiving points for today (I am SURE there is if I think hard enough!)
5) Chat with God and let it go to Him (Had one on the way back from FMC to home. Needed a breather for the day so decided to break away from CG and head home)
6) Chat with good friend (Had a lovely chat with a girlfriend. Thanks for listening to my grouses)
7) Read Heartlight article
8) Go and sleep now (Which is SOON after I download & transfer the sermon MP3 into my faithful iPod!!! Jogging tomorrow morning!)

Language

A few posts ago, I was speaking about the Language of Love. Today, I will speak about Language as in the physical language.

You know, from the time I returned home from Brisbane, I have NEVER thought myself as a Singaporean. I had identity crisis honest. Suddenly, every dash of sentence has a "lah", "leh", "lor", etc.. Finally after 4 years, unfortunately, I could easily pass myself off as a Singaporean using Singlish VERY well. After using 4 years to "master" Singlish, I am trying to learn another language of my OWN dialect group - Hokkien! Argh!!!

I am born to a Hokkien family but I was raised speaking Cantonese. How cool is that right? Well, my Cantonese is still "half a bucket full" LAH.. 半桶水..

Now, the problem is, in my line of work, sometimes, you just don't get to choose the clients to work with. Of late, I got a only-Hokkien speaking client of a certain elderly age. I took heart in that when I went for a home visit with my senior once, he mentioned that when he started out, he didn't know how to speak Hokkien! And boy! Was he fluent!

Right.. So what happened was today, I finally conducted my session in Hokkien! Yay! BUT it was REAL funny listening to myself!! Boy! Did I spend lots of time preparing myself for the visit. And more so, I am glad that my client appreciates that I made the effort to speak Hokkien though not fluent.

As I walked out of the home, my thoughts went to Ps Ben's sermon yesterday. It was Missions Sunday and he shared a little about his experiences in Rome. He shared about how one of the missionaries being able to speak fluently in Italian. And when I look at the team members in Santiago, Equador, etc, I am SO encouraged at the heart to learn the local language.

Speaking one's love language is able to make a person feel loved. Speaking one's language is able to make a person open up to you!

Disciplining & Exercising

Other than my daily routine, I have never been a REALLY disciplined girl. Fact of the matter - I can be quite lazy when it comes to things that requires me to EXERCISE! When I was younger, I don't remember facing this problem though.. I gladly walk 20mins to the swimming pool alone, do my laps & get back home. Best part was that I could do it consistently.

Is it the age or what? Or perhaps it's the excuses that I have given within myself? Or perhaps, worklife has taken up so much of my time? Or is it just plain laziness? Ever since 19 when I was in my 2nd year in the Polytechnic days, my exercising life stopped totally! It simply stopped.

Along the years, I do still miss swimming but I just never got to doing it as consistent as before. Instead, I got involved in once-in-awhile activities like kayaking, canoeing, wind surfing, scuba diving.

Many many years down the road and I was still giving myself excuses for NOT exercising. Friends have often challenged me to take up running but I always have an excuse at the tip of my tongue.

This year, as part of a new year resolution 8 months ago, in June, I decided to be more disciplined. I got myself a swimming costume (gotta buy since I have put on weight ;)) and got myself to the swimming pool. However, I still found that it was still not enough. Finally in July, I did the MILK Run. It was only 4km and I walked 3/4 of the time. YET, that 1/4 of running gave me much joy..!

With the advise from friends around me, I decided to start "exercising" through running. No.. Jogging. To get myself motivated, at my friend's persuasion, I got myself enrolled into a 5km "VERY-SHORT" marathon.

We all know that before a "huge" event (to me, 5km is HUGE), we MUST train ourselves. I do not want to go for it and come back with aches all over. Planning is absolutely required. Nothing great can really be accomplished by sitting back and do nothing.

So, finally, in the entire of my 29 years of living on island Singapura, I bought my first pair of running shoes. My colleagues and I have decided to train together. We sort of have an unwritten pact that we will swim once a week & run once a week. At the same time, we will use staircases instead of escalator or elevators. We will walk for our home visits instead of rotting at the bus stop for the bus.


My first pair of running shoes....................... *mountain tortoise*

A Saturday well spent!

I love this boy. I REALLY love Kiki. It's hard to describe but I really love him. For once, I am beyond words. So, I will just say that my Saturday's well spent - Swimming in the morning (with friends and Kiki) and Dinner-ing with Jan & sister (Awaiting for photo from sister!).

Travelling Light

The night before the 8th Aug, I was packing my bag for the next night of cycling. When I was packing, I kept reminding myself - Travel light, travel light, travel light. At the end, my bag was as light as I thought I could have gotten it to be. I thought, well, it MAY rain. So I packed in my poncho. Then, I thought, I may perspire. So I packed in my towel. And a few other little things.

Night cycling started at about 2145hrs on 8th August. By the time we reached our first stop, that light bag of mine seemed to weigh a ton heavier. I began to wonder - why didn't I just have faith that it won't rain? And I began to wonder - Night cycling is SO cooling, why did I even bother to bring towel? And I wonder - Why can't I just bring a small pouch with some money, phone and keys?!?!

By 345am when we reached Jalan Kayu, I was SO glad that I could just dump my bag in the van. Gosh.. EVEN though my bag was REALLY quite light, the effect of loading off my burdensome bag was SUCH a relief! I thought I could cycle a tiny weeny bit faster. I literally felt that my shoulder blade is lighter.

Coincidentally, as I was cycling towards Punggol, I began to think of the book that I am currently reading - Travelling Light. *smile* Somehow, the verse from 1 Peter 5:7 rang in my head "Cast ALL your anxiety on him because he cares for you".. Personally, I paraphrased it as "Cast ALL your burdens on him because he cares for you".

No matter how light I travelled that night, I felt so burdened by the extra load on the bag. I thought to myself - How draggy I can be at times? Many times, as humans, we live a life that is so filled with a baggage filled with hurts from cutting words from people, rights to be right, pains from the past, disappointments from expectations, unreciprocated feelings and gestures, etc. Yet, God is telling us - Come, come to be ALL you who has burdens AND cast it ALL to me. I CARE for you and I can CARRY that burden for you. All you have to do is to let go of the hand that is gripping so tightly to the hurts/pain/disappointments and cling on to me.

Travel light. Point taken.

Yet another National Day has passed...

... and finally, I am 29 years old.

This year, I had a small surprise celebration with CG. Affirmations were thrown to and fro and across the table. It's just a nice, small, warm & cosy get-together.



My CG has been VERY mum about where they are bringing me for lunch. They just drive. For once, I told myself - Do not be a control freak and need to know everything! Just let them drive me to where they want to bring me to! Well, was trying very hard to take a photo of the 4 of us in the car!!! But well, the length of my arms are only that limited!



And guess what??? From church (Somerset), they decided to bring me back home!!! We lunched in one of the chinese restaurant at the shopping complex near my house. Ironically, I am so near home YET, so far.. Cause after that, I made my way back to town.




Now now now.. This IS the place where all affirmations were flying all over! Unfortunately, Nelson wasn't able to join us that day as he has a meeting to attend. (Not that I am dying for his affirmation to me but I thought it'll be nice to have an intact CG gathering!)



My Mascarpone Strawberry Cheesecake! Happy birthday to ME, happy birthday to ME, happy birthday to ME!!! Happy birthday to MEE!! [I started the habit of winking after seeing how much fun a little kid I love learned how to wink too!]


Haaaaa... I love this collate.. Carol (my lovely sister) secretly met up with Jan for a shopping trip for my birthday gift. Doncha think my sister's CUTE with all the SILLY faces? *grimace* Haha!! I love the card most.. Everyone had erratic hairstyle.. Oh yah! My sister played a tribute of me in her blog. Got me laughing till my stomach hurts! But don't EVER think that nobody wants me! Hmmp!

Then, my colleagues surprised me during our night cycling trip. They got me a blueberry choc cake with ice cream on top! Man! I wished I hadn't had my prata kosong! Made me full to the point of puking! But I finished it..

Seriously speaking, I had a great night of cycling. It was tiring. It was also painful. It wasn't all that ecstatic feeling like a liability half the time.. (because I was slow).. And on many occasions, I really feel like dumping the bike in the van and just stay in the van. BUT I glad I perservered on and completed the whole journey! I was so proud of myself that I gave myself 2 small taps on my shoulder before I fell asleep. More photos are here. Whoever wanna join us next time, let me know!! We welcome all friends.. =)





First stop of rest and I was already thinking "What have I gotten myself into!"



The 2nd or 3rd stop for rest I think.. It's at the Seletar Dam towards the Seletar Airbase. Look at how nicely we placed our bikes? =) We were entralled by all the motorbikes parked neatly around us that we have to "compete"!



Going home from Pasir Ris Park C.. Very rarely I could wake up for a sunrise.. Will add more photos if I have the energy.

Anyhow, this year's birthday has been a rather quiet one (Cause I was sleeping half the day recuperating from the cycling). If I were to share one of the greatest blessings this year, it would have been the relationships that I have established and maintained. Friendships are not based on how many friends one has but on how deep the friendship has gone into. Kinship (my family) whom are so often taken for granted is a type of relationship that I have grown to love and hold on dearly.

Looking back, I thank God for the many many many precious friends that He has placed in my life. Friends whom have chosen to love me for who I am. Family whom have "tolerated" yet loved me for whole of my life.

Ok.. I remember last year, I sort of "displayed" my gifts on blog. This year, I just wanna display THIS one gift I received from a good friend of mine! [Not that I don't wanna share what others have given but this really REALLY amused me] Let me share what really amused me - When my colleague saw the middle pair of earrings, she went "hey! Toilet sign! Male and Female!" Hahah!!! *FLIPPED*



Tell you ah!! I wanted ONE pair of SIMPLE earrings and I got 3!!! Ok.. I must be careful for what I ask for.. But knowing my friend, surely there is meaning for the 3 earrings so here is the reason! *wink* So friend (you know who you are) - Thank you!!



And for all out there, thank you for making me a little more perfect in your own beautiful ways..

Unconditional Love

A friend said this to me before (paraphrased) - my friend is convicted by God that I will receive unconditional friendship whether or not I give that friendship.

And trust me - I really got that unconditional friendship.

Unknowingly, in all of my friendships thereafter, I make a decision that I will strive to give unconditional friendship and not expect anything. Well, of course, it's hard not to have expectations. It's very human to want something when they have given something. So it's really a personal choice and decision. But I feel that when I made that decision, it's harder to get hurt.

Today, just as I was wondering about this thing called Friendshp, I received a sms from the same friend - The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someone else believes in him and is willing to trust him with his Friendship (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

Hmm... Friendship is really a tricky thing. When you find a friend whom you can really call friend, treasure it. Least that's what I strive to do.

ANYWAY, good news good news..
My friend told me that the client love the design of the wine hampers that I did so hee.. I think we may have gotten the deal! Really praise God because the "ling gan" (inspiration) came to me only last night and woah.. when God is in charge, I completed it in 2 hours!

Okie okie.. Time to find food to settle my growling stomach! Nights!!

Loving God

Today, I felt like I am superwoman! Here I was walking towards my favourite kopitiam wanting to tabao my dinner back to office. Suddenly, I saw this old lady kept pointing nervously at a particular direction. I turned and I saw this little Indian boy trying to calm his brother down. Thing is, his brother is over the other side of a waist-high pillar. Apparently, he dropped his cap over the pillar. It was easy for him to climb up (with the help of a seat) and then down to retrieve the cap. Tough part was that he doesn't know how to climb back up! And he was totally surrounded by bushes and flowers. For a barely 3 year old boy, his only mindset was to go back the way he went down. Poor boy was crying his heart out by the time I reached him. Automatically, his arms just spread wide open for me to carry him. Got him over the pillar. The cries turned to soft sobbings. Did a quick check with him on what happened, where are their parents and their names. Awhile, that little boy forgotten that he was trapped just 2 mins ago. Off he and his brother ran off to the playground and play.

It was a very heartwarming incident for me personally. For one, I have never "rescued" anyone before. For another, it turned my not-so-fantastic day around. Even as I am typing now, I can still remember that arms spread out to me, that teary long-eyelashed eyes, that plea in those huge round eyes, that thankfulness that someone was around, that smile that came after the "rescue".

That scene brought me back to my relationship with God. It says in Mark 12:31-32 to love God with all of my heart, with all of my mind, with all of my soul and with all of my strength. That's loving God with my total being. From head to toe. From inner feelings to outer emotions. That incident brought a chuckle to me as I walk back to office because I was thinking - How appropriate! Each time I am down and low, I know that whenever I spread my arms, God will always be there for me! Whenever I cry, He will always be there to wipe my tears. Then, awhile later, when I am fine, I run away and carried on with my life at times even forgotten to give thanks or have a mouth filled with praise! As I meditate on that verse, I yearn that with each passing day, I will know how to love God better.

*smile* And no.. I am not expecting a 3 year old boy to thank me. Heehee..

Falling and Picking and the what nots

It's 1:30am now and I am taking a breather. Stopping what I have been doing since 8pm and taking a break till tomorrow morning.

I have been trying to do nothing over the past 2 nights but think of ways to wrap wine bottles and its gifts. Trust me.. Along the way, I thought there were moments where I lost total confidence in myself. Certain part of me is very afraid to lose that creative portion. Another part is very afraid that I cannot deliver what I promise in time. I took a deep breath, prayed and did what I thought was my best.

It has been sort of fruitful. Least of all, I managed to conjure something out.

What have I learned?

I learned that we have every capability to stretch our limits - with prayers, practice and perseverance! My forte has always been in decorating weddings. I handle flowers very well. I handle necklaces and earrings and accessories of all sorts pretty well. But when I was given bottles and stuffs, I really got stuck.

Coincidentally, today, I drew some henna drawings on my colleagues. Hmm.. Well, their comment was "Wah.. You know how to draw ah? Nice leh.." That statement got me to think about how long ago did I start drawing henna. It all started with my trip to KL in Dec 2003 and I got a henna done. I came back to Singapore and I thought it's a good avenue for Comm Care. When I started, I did lots of research. Research on the design, the types of henna, the techniques, etc. Honestly speaking, those poor guinea piggy friends and "customers" had absolutely no idea how bad I was! It was also then that I remind myself - "Don't give up! Keep practising!" Last year, my shepherd commented that I have improved over the years. Praise God!

Important checkpoint question is - "Sandra, are you afraid to make mistake?" Point is - We all make mistakes! But the fact of the matter is not how badly we fall but how graceful we pick ourselves up. God is always watching over us.

I guess (not taking it too prideful), learning new things don't come easy. It takes lots of prayers, practice and perserverance. It takes lots of initiative. It also takes lots of courage to go for it and it takes lots of courage to say "I will climb up". It is absolutely possible to train a new skill!

Brain juice seeping out!!!

Is there a hole in my head??? Why can't I think!!

I have been staring at my materials for the past 3 hours and I still can't think of a design. Am reminding myself "SANDRA!!! PERSEVERE!!! You are not one who give up!!" [Got a design deal]

But now, I shall go rest my head and try to find that hole.