Hair for Hope 2012

Dear Faith,

After accompanying my friend for her shave the past few years, I decided to go under the shaver myself this year.  As my friend was the booster, Faith, you are the one who gave me courage.  This is the annual fundraising organized by Children's Cancer Foundation called Hair for Hope.  Other than raising awareness, it serves to help children who are undergoing cancer know that "Hey, it's ok.. you are not alone being bald."

With you in my life, I understood more of what emcompasses a parent's heart, of love and of pain. You helped me to understand what will bring a smile to a parent's face yet what will break a parent's heart.  When life and death is in the picture, it pains the child, it pains the parents.

I pray as you have given me this courage, may you also grow up to be a woman of courage yourself.

On a side note, hey! You are 4.5 months already!  You have finally stunned me with your first flip.  Thereafter, you kept practicing this newly found skill. Very cute indeed.  Daddy and mummy is definitely much more confident to bring you out now.  We have learned what agitates you and what not.  So what not, we do more.  What does, we do less.  We are looking forward to more stunning moments of yours!

For now, this is the latest quick update.

Love,
Mummy

Reality hits

Dear Faith,

You have turned 16 weeks!  How time flies without even me realizing.  Daddy didn't bathe you for a week and when he did, he said that you have grown! Body longer and head circumference bigger.

Last week, we brought you for your first swimming session.  You really disliked the float around your head but the minute your body hit the water, you started turning round and round and round.  When one kid cried, leading to 2-3 others crying, you continued to go around the pool, not giving two hoots to what is happening.  You know, on seeing how happy you were in the small pool, daddy had tears welled up! No one needs to convince us to sign up the package for you. :)

 

You are even more generous with your smiles and chuckles now. The minute you wake up from your sarong, you dashed me your bo-gei smile immediately! Now that I am back to work, I really really miss your smiles & even cries! Well, mummy survived her first day at work, thanks to technology.. Every other hour, I would be looking at your photo.  Oh, I have decorated my workstation with a photoframe and the picture of you on my laptop desktop.. :P

A year ago....

... I was preparing to sign the HDB papers to buy the biggest purchase of my life - my flat.

A year ago, in June, I had a sudden urge to go away alone.  Literally alone.  One evening, while returning home from Boon Lay, I smsed Geo asking him if he is all right for me to travel alone.  He asked me "Alone without me but with friends or alone, alone?".  "Alone, alone.", I replied.  He asked no further questions, giving me all the trust that I needed back then.  I bought air ticket to Perth that evening to fly on 12 Jul, just a day after I sold my savings away to HDB.

To put it simply, I would describe 2011 as one of the worst years I ever had in my entire life.  Being able to go away has fulfilled one of my dream to travel alone.  However, more so, it has given me that opportunity to break away, literally, from situations in Singapore to just find my space with God. To speak to Him, to yell out to Him, to be by myself.  In the entire journey, He spoke to me through this song.



Life is really quite an irony.  I have heard of this song many times.  Yet, it's in my brokenness that this song spoke to me.  The faithfulness of the Lord indeed reaches beyond where I am.  A decade ago, I went to Australia to study, in the hope of healing a broken heart after a terrible break up with a man I had thought I would marry.  I found God again.  A decade later, I went back to Australia, in the hope of being able to feel Him walking beside me again.  He never fail.

Anyway, the irony of all ironies.  I thought I was alone throughout my trip.  Little did I know that I was already carrying Faith. Hee... That little one has traveled to Perth already! When I look at her now, I am reminded that God is for me, for my family.

Space is when you have all the time in the world with no agenda.. A book, a drink and a lovely view.